Caressing and Words

I don’t know what it is about talking during sex that I find so insanely sexy. I am currently under the opinion that he could say anything to me during sex, even something entirely unrelated and un-sexy, and it would still make me go wild! Maybe it’s more out of my desire to not ruin the moment than it is anything else, but I’m convinced it’s true.

We have definitely not been having enough sex. You can tell by how long many of my funks this past month have lasted. I mean, I went from having an orgasm everyday for two weeks (at least) last month and this month, we’ve had sex under a hand full of times. Between me and my attitude and him and his exhaustion, it just seems impossible to get it on. And even when we do, our bed is creaking horribly beneath us, so we’re both so worried the entire time that we’re going to wake something up. Especially if he’s on top!

Yesterday though, I was massively in a cuddle-to-show-my-appreciation type of mood. He’s been doing a lot for me lately and picking up slack as best as he can. Not only is he working his ass off at work, he comes home and helps with the kids and the cleaning and the food prep and not once do I get a sigh of resistance or bitching about how much more I could be helping. Instead, he does it like he enjoys it. I know if I were to ask him what he thinks or feels about it, he would respond by wrapping his arm around my neck, leaning his head atop mine and whispering something cheesy like, “I really enjoy taking care of you!”.

So, I was cuddly almost as soon as he walked in the door. We spent most of the night watching Star Trek, as I laid on his chest and caressed his body. Have I ever told you how much I absolutely love his body? From his head to his feet, there is something sexy at every single inch. His hair has the most delightful curls you’ve ever seen – perfect for getting fingers wrapped in. His eyebrows are perfectly shaped and arched around his enchanting eyes – caramel brown with these chunks of emerald green littered throughout. His skin is always smooth, even when he’s covered in a week’s worth of stubble. His shoulders and chest are strong and his muscles are evident without even touching, but to touch them… It’s a breathtaking experience.

I’m pretty particular about muscle because I really don’t like when a guy has a lot of them sticking out everywhere and if for one second their muscles bulge, I literally feel like throwing up. It just grosses me out. His though, his are perfect… The cuddling lasted forever and at last, he seemed to be getting excited by it. I playfully grabbed his balls and he shifted to give me more access. I gently stroked his cock and he sat up more. Grabbing my hair, he guided my lips to his member and I happily proceeded to tease him with my tongue. Again, we were in an angle that makes anything more than a couple inches impossible to do without accidentally getting him with my teeth, so this was purely teasing and not meant to get anybody off anywhere.

He moved down more and began slipping his fingers into my already wet slit. At this point, we’re half-spooning. He’s on his side, I’m on my back, one leg up around him, my foot resting on his ass. He gently penetrates me, just entering the very opening of my vag. I always love how this feels. He grabs the ankle of the leg that’s up around him and he pulls my leg up to his lips to kiss it. He begins at my ankle and kisses his way up to my knee before putting my leg up by my head and directly beside him to cuddle with my leg as he more roughly penetrated me. Both of us are always astounded by how flexible I still am, especially being that the only time we know that I’m that flexible is when he moves my body into these positions.

He begins circling my clit and whispers in my ear, “One night, I’m going to take you in the ass like this… One night, you’re going to beg me to fuck your little hole like this… You’ll beg, ‘Daddy, please put your huge cock in my tight little asshole’…” – and even though I wasn’t particularly into the idea of ever taking him in that way, the way he was saying it and in the moment, I was so turned on by it. He was pulling me in closer and closer to him and for a second, I thought he was just going to go for anal. I was pleased when instead he got on top of me.

The sex was incredible. I easily came the first time and we kept eye contact through my entire first orgasm. It absolutely heightened the experience for me and I thought it would be no time at all before he would cum. But he wasn’t ready yet, so he asked me to try for another orgasm. I frantically worked myself, not wanting to still be working on an orgasm after he came, because that typically results in him falling asleep and me masturbating by myself – something I’m not fond of doing when I have a boyfriend laying right next to me… I felt like I was on the verge of this second orgasm for the longest time and by my reactions, he was sure I was going to cum many times before I actually did.

The orgasm built itself up, until it felt like it was going to erupt out of me. My whole body was pulsing, my breath was incredibly erratic, and he looked incredible over me. He bent down and whispered for me to cum and the sound of his voice filled my head and I was lost in his words again. My body began to tense, starting at my toes and working it’s way up until I was frozen with the tension throughout my body. One final circle of my clit and I was cumming so hard that I couldn’t move at all. He filled me with his warmth at exactly the moment my orgasm began and my breathing was all over the place. I tried to grab at him but couldn’t make my hands work and he gently ran his fingers through my hair and held me close as I came down from my wicked orgasm.

Sleep came relatively easy. It was quite windy out which was really bugging me for some reason, so I tossed and turned for a bit. When he left for work this morning, I could hardly make myself wake up. Just absolutely exhausted.

If I Could Have Anything for My Birthday…

I’m officially another year older – have been for about an hour now… I only know this, because everyone has been reminding me of it and constantly mentioning it. I would be just as happy forgetting altogether about my aging another year. I feel it, I don’t need to see it in a number. It was also the midnight release of the new Call of Duty game, which The Boyfriend had pre-ordered, so had been counting down to this day for weeks.

I hadn’t really considered that I wanted anything for my birthday until tonight. As an old kinky friend of mine messaged me a birthday greeting card, I suddenly flashed back to the days of munches and spankings. And it seriously floored me, my jaw instantly dropped, when the thought of a birthday spanking jumped into my mind. I have been fantasizing about spankings for so many days leading up to today, that I can’t believe it took a birthday e-greeting to put the thought of making a birthday wish for a spanking into my head!

For probably the last three days, I have been thinking non-stop about spankings. I’ve been reading a lot about spanking, The Boyfriend and I have been watching a lot of porn with spanking in it. And when I got that e-greeting, I just automatically jumped in to thinking about how I want my birthday spanking to go down. Ideally, to start out with, I wouldn’t have to ask for it.

I would love for him to sit down at the end of the bed and pull me down over his lap. I would love for him to be gentle with me at first, caressing my skin and gently tugging at my hair. The first few slaps would be just hard enough for me to feel them and he would be hard beneath me. He’d slap my ass a few times, and then he would rub his rough hands over my flesh and I would tremble beneath him.

He’d begin to work up to harder slaps, warming me up with his firm hands. He would stop every so often to rub my ass, or trace the length of my leg. He would reach his hand up into my hair and yank my head back, before laying down a succession of blows as I squirmed frantically beneath him. He would continue until my ass felt hot to the touch and was reddened quite nicely. Once my rear was to his liking, he’d slide his fingers into me and direct me to the floor. He’d instruct me to get into a position that would allow me to suck his cock while he smacked my ass.

He’d shove his cock deep into my mouth as he reached over to slap my flesh and I’d moan as best as I could. He’d reach his hand into my hair, grabbing as much of it as he could and he would pull me up to meet his lips before shoving me back down to his swollen member. Using my hair as a handle, he’d force me this way and that, until his cock was throbbing and pulsing. He’d pull me up until I was standing, turn me to face away from him and instruct me to bend over.

He’d slap my ass and remark about my glistening cunt and how naughty of a girl I am. He’d slide a finger across my wetness before diving in with his tongue to taste every sweet drop. He’d slap my pussy hard enough to make me flinch before swiftly penetrating me with his ample girth. I’d shriek as he pulled back and slammed into me again, before a hard hand landed on my bottom. As he thrust faster and faster, the slaps would fall harder and he would roughly grip at my flesh before raising his hand. My whole body would be twisting and turning and squirming.

He would pull out and cum all over the redness, instantly warming and cooling the burning, before nestling his face back between my legs and working me until I was cumming so hard it was dripping all over the floor. It would be divine ecstasy!! I would collapse onto him and he would gently caress my rear end and whisper all sorts of wonderful things to me – how much he loves me, how good I did, how proud of me he was, how much fun he had and I would be in total bliss.

That’s what I would have if I could have anything… But, since I can’t, I’ll just fantasize about it. At least I can demand an orgasm sans spanking…

Dreaming of Head

I think I’m developing a complex, an oral sex complex. For the past few days, right before I actually wake up and after I’ve already hit snooze once or twice, I drift into dreamland. While there, a dream conducts itself in the usual way – kind of scattered and not making any real sense but it always ends the exact same way.

This morning’s dream was probably the most memorable as we walked through a town called Innisfail (and not the real town of Innisfail). The town was on a mountainside and every single building looked like it had been built to resemble a bomb shelter. The Boyfriend had apparently transferred jobs and we were going to see a lady about our own little bomb bunker. As we walk through the town, there’s not a Wal-Mart in site, but there is a (not even kidding you) Damage Hall. I don’t know why you’d want to advertise that you are the Damage Hall, but I guess that’s just how they do in the sheltered town of Innisfail.

Here’s where the dream starts matching every single other dream I’ve had for the past few days. Somehow The Boyfriend and I end up at a place where we’re sitting down and I’m snuggling into his chest. He has no shirt and only boxers to cover any of him. We begin making out, which I swear feels identical to when we are actually making out. My body feels tingly just about everywhere, I sweat and I would not be surprised if I moan along with my dream self (although, I’m not aware of it if I really am). But in the dream, it feels incredibly real.

Then, I pull back to take a breath and he cockily spreads his arms wider and opens his legs further, allowing the hole in his boxers to reveal the treasure beneath and he says to me in his sexy sex voice, “So, you know what I want?”. In the real world, he does almost this exact same thing when he wants head. Every guy I’ve ever been with is like this. They get comfy and settle in for the pleasure of my mouth, before officially announcing (even if just subtly) that they want oral sex. I normally say yes, because I couldn’t say no to a beautiful piece on display.

Almost as soon as he asks, I wake up. I have no idea how the dream ends or if he ends up getting head or if I end up saying no. I know nothing! However, I do find it interesting that I’m dreaming about giving him oral sex when in real life, I’ve been complaining so much about not getting it. And complaining isn’t the right word to use there, more like mentioning that I’m not getting it.

I’ve told him straight out that I’m not giving him head again until I get some. I’ve mentioned that I’m in the mood for it and then not gotten it. The only thing I haven’t done is asked out right for it. We sort of talked about that the other day. He said he wanted me to ask right out and I said I wasn’t comfortable with that all the time. It would be nice for someone to act like they wanted to eat me out, not that they were just doing it because I had asked. As if it were taking out the garbage. “Oh dear, can you take out the garbage and when you’re done, come eat my pussy…”. While it’s hot in theory, when you’re living it every day, not so much.

I think the fact that it’s been so long and the idea that I need to ask or direct to get it, seems to really be bothering me. I can tell because it’s on my mind a lot when I’m awake but even more so, because I’m dreaming about it. It’s in my conscious and my subconscious… I think what it really comes down to is that I want some vulva appreciation to go down. I want this area of my being, that I’m quickly falling out of love with, to be loved and cherished and kissed – instead of pounded, penetrated and fucked.

I wish he would eat me out like I give him head. Playful, teasing, long and drawn out, tons of tongue. It’s just been a long time…

Take the Helm

I am quickly becoming more and more dissatisfied with my sex life, even though I am having more sex now than I have in years. We are back up to regularly having sex every 2-3 days, which is just perfect for us with the 4 kids and his job… And while the sex itself, has been nothing short of amazing, it’s absolutely not the sex that I want to be having. Our sexual interests right now are like splitting cells.

I’m going this way and he’s going that way and even though we somehow meet back in the middle during sex, afterwards I just feel like we’re going separate ways. I’m never going to get what I want, he’s never going to get what he wants and we’re both going to end up resenting each other for it.

Last night, after a nice and quick shower together, I decide I want to give him head. That part was wonderful. I was having fun playing and teasing, he was having fun trying to keep my hair out of my face, it was all good. Then, I ask what he wants and right away he jumps to anal. I automatically said no, and for the first time ever, instead of just taking my no as a serious no the first time, I had to say it two more times before it was dropped. And while it was very playful, it pissed me off.

Why can’t I get with guys that share my sexual interests? Why must I keep getting with guys who have an obsession with something that I don’t want to incorporate in my sex life – at least, not with me on the receiving end of it. I’m not a huge fan of anal sex. I don’t like feeling uncomfortable, patiently awaiting the moment when it might feel good. Which sometimes never happens. I tried it my required three times and decided it wasn’t for me, that I was never going to be the anal whore I once dreamed of. And I’m okay with that. But apparently it’s not good enough to have my vag and my mouth to fuck…

And I’m supposed to offer up my ass for anal, but I can’t even mention spankings? I can’t even get one…

So we finish with head. I guess he figured since we weren’t having anal and I wasn’t actively pursuing sex, that that’s how I wanted him to cum. So instead of letting me continue on with my playing and teasing, he grabs my head and now the game is really on. I can tell the second he’s getting ready to cum, because of the way that he grabs my head. It never bothers me, I actually find it to be incredibly sexy. I’ve always liked that he will guide me directly the way he wants me during sexual activity – always in control.

As usual, after the orgasm is done, we discuss what we liked and didn’t like. We try to communicate as much as possible, so that every sex session just keeps getting better. So last night, he said something along the lines of… “Once I’m ready to cum, I kind of take the helm”, and I quickly interjected, “Yeah, what’s with that? Why can’t you ever just let me make you cum, without you working for it too?” and all he did was cover his lips with a finger and shushed me.

I kept replaying all the times he’s said to me, “One day, I’m going to have to see if you can make me cum like that”, often referring to the muscle clenching that I tend to do a lot of during sex, without meaning to more often than not. But there’s been numerous times that he’s said it, for a variety of the ways that I have sex. But he never lets me do the work of actually bringing him to orgasm. Once he reaches that point, he takes over and I normally let him because it feels good. But the shushing, the lack of willingness to talk about whatever reasons might be behind this, just made me really uncomfortable. I expressed this to him. Not to the degree that I was feeling it, but I didn’t want to completely ruin a totally great head session with my emotional drama…

I made it known that I was not happy with the shushing or the lack of communication about this new discovery. I had, up to this point, figured that it was probably some bodily reaction that he couldn’t exactly help. I know personally, when I’m about to cum, I’ll hold my breath. And it’s not something I have control over, it’s just what happens. So I had figured that that was just the way his body responded to a close orgasm. But this “take the helm” comment, means that it’s not some involuntary reaction of his body but instead a thought-out action. An action with some sort of reasoning behind it.

The worst part of it though, is that I was upset by the way the night had turned out. I was slightly mad by the suggestion of anal, I was slightly upset by the lack of communication, I was saddened by the discovery itself. So even though, I don’t completely understand why I said no to it all, I didn’t want to cuddle, I didn’t want to kiss, I just wanted to roll over and go to sleep. But I hate when I make it known that I’m upset about something, and I act like I’m upset about it, and instead of being comforting and trying to really discover what’s wrong, he just gives into me.

So instead of trying to cuddle with me last night, instead of trying for kisses, he just rolled over his own way and went to sleep. Instead of being even slightly interested in the chance of me having an orgasm, he just rolled over and went to sleep. I’m sick of being punished in this way, when I’ve done nothing wrong. This “ignore-her-until-she-gets-over-it” kind of way… It makes it seem like my thoughts and feelings don’t really matter. Even when I do go on full out ragers about my stupid emotions, I speak to a brick wall of silence.

I just feel like I’m giving a lot of myself and not getting much back in return sometimes…

Dual Nipple Licking

 

Last night was an incredibly fun night with The Boyfriend. After spending all day long in a “passionate” state, I was more than ready to go  by the time he mentioned having sex. Then he asked me to get into something sexy. Have I ever told you how much I love when he does that? You would think that I’d take offense to it, like “What, are my normal clothes not sexy enough?!”, but instead I normally think something more akin to “Ooo, I’m going to look good”, but last night – I made him pick my outfit 😉

So he picked this cute little polka dot dress that I got with kind of a cowl neckline and this frilly bottom. It hits about 2 inches above my knees, so if I bend over, all you see is ass! Then, he said my favorite dirty words, “I think I’ll fill all of your holes tonight!”. Ugh, I shudder with pleasure! He’s wandering the house as I’m playing video games, when he shows up at my side with his cock out. There’s hole number 1!

Then we moved into bed…

He jumped into things pretty fast, which took me by surprise a little bit and I said something. On the TV, we had some sweet BDSM porn going on, which I had chosen and he didn’t seem to mind, even though more and more he’s showing extreme resistance to that whole lifestyle. So I was surprised that he let me keep the kinky porn on and was even helping picking videos. But I was not turned on enough when he went in for the kill, which resulted in me asking him to slow down. He did and worked a little harder to get me wetter, which really isn’t that much harder, just a little bit longer.

He sat up against the ottoman and reached for me, as I straddled his cock and he grabbed my left breast with his mouth. It’s by far our most favorite breast. I was nowhere near ready to cum, so I didn’t want to do anything that would make him ready to cum, so it wasn’t our normal typical me-on-top type of sex. It was slower, more about kissing and caressing than the actual sex having. I grabbed his hands to reach around behind me and guess who already had a bottle of lube ready to go!!

He rubbed the lube around and I was sure the whole anal thing was going to go over okay. I would never say that it goes over good, per se. After I get into it and after it gets past a certain point, it’s not the worst thing in the world and it’s not bad enough that I can’t still orgasm. But I wouldn’t necessarily it gives me any pleasure, outside of knowing that it’s giving him pleasure. We’ve also been trying anal in different positions, since I normally won’t even consider anything outside of spooning. Our first wonderful and successful time was spooning and I just seem to be able to stay more relaxed that way. I don’t get all tense. But we’ve both been wanting something different, him especially, so I suggested we try doggy style.

Well, that was just too much. I knew almost the second I knelt up that I wasn’t going to last long. Then he got on top of me and within seconds I was asking him to back off. Just too uncomfortable. So he took of his first condom of the night and we doggy-styled vaginally for awhile. My boobs looked so hot in my dress in that position. Then he sat back and pulled me back onto him and then came the finger in the ass again.

I tend to really enjoy this position, where it’s like lazy doggy style. He sits down, I sit back on him, his legs are all spread and I’m on my knees. I like that he’s got hands that are free to roam and so do I. I like that if he moves forward to grab onto me, or leans back, the feel of the sex is so different. Instead of hitting my anterior vaginal wall, he’s now hitting the posterior and now he’s deep and now he’s not. It just feels so different with every little movement. I also like to think that my back is really sexy, even though I don’t actually have any idea…

Then, he pushed me down onto my stomach – and I figured this was mostly because he was getting ready to cum so he wanted me to be able to play with myself, but this was not the case, as he slowly slid something into me. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. It kind of felt like his cock, just softer or maybe a really lubricated finger. But he switched to each of those and that’s not what the other thing felt like. So, as he’s fucking me and I can tell that he’s getting closer and closer to cumming, he whispers in my ear, “What do you want?”. Sometimes, I love this. Other times, I hate it. Last night, it was kind of perfect.

I asked, “What are you sticking in me?”, and he said a dildo. I still had no idea which one, but I figured it was one we hadn’t used before, because it didn’t feel like the ones we had. I said that I’d like to have both the dildo and him in my pussy. Wish, granted! I don’t know exactly how he managed to do it and last night I could’ve told you which cock was which, but now, I have no idea. All I know is that it felt really freaking amazing. He’d get pumping at one speed and then he’d make the dildo do something else entirely, or he’d just push and hold the dildo downwards or upwards while he was still thrusting and it felt soooo good! It was becoming harder and harder for him to hold back his orgasm.

I asked if we could flip over, I wanted to kiss him and ever since we shaved his head the other night, I’ve been promising to rub my hands through his short hair during sex and hadn’t yet. So we flipped over and immediately got into our normal regular position. I know I make it sound like I’m complaining, but I’m really not. It’s my most favorite position in the world for a lot of reasons. Even though it’s mainly just missionary position, I love that I can easily touch all my favorite parts of his body and I can block him from seeing my least favorite parts of my body. I love that he’s in control, but by simply grabbing his hips, I can guide and direct him to what I want more of. I love that it’s another position where just the little changes will make a big difference in the way it feels. Example, feet on his bum as opposed to feet flat on the bed, or hips lifted or pressed down. It changes the whole thing.

He’s really liking my boobs a lot lately and insists on spending most of his time on them when we’re in this position. He likes to make them bounce and he likes when they bounce and he’s sucking on them. I think he also likes my reaction to these things, especially my boobs bouncing. I get really excited about it! So last night, as he had my left breast held tightly in his hand, his tongue doing these incredible flicks, I lifted my head and joined him in the nipple licking. I don’t think he knew that I could lick my own nipples, but based on his reaction, I think that’s going to be something that happens more!

We were kissing each other while sucking on my nipple and we would take turns circling my nipples with our tongues. He would watch me, I would watch him, and then we’d do it together. The whole thing was so hot and so intense and needless to say, within seconds, we were both cumming. Me first and I was still cumming when he started. I laid there half laughing, half not being able to breathe as he collapsed on me and we both blissfully chanted, “That was amazing, that was so good…”.

Sleep came incredibly easy and was an insanely sound one. I woke up this morning and the first thought I had was, “We sucked my nipple last night!”.