The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

Cannot Stop Listening to This Song…

Leave a comment


For some reason lately, I’ve been more and more into watching YouTube videos and recently, I came across this cover and I cannot stop listening to it. I’ve heard multiple covers of this song and the original, but this one just keeps sticking with. I want my voice and guitar playing to sound like this!!!

Thinkin Bout You (Acoustic/Beatbox Cover) –

Tori Kelly & Angie Girl


Leave a comment

What I’m Listening To…


It seems like every single week, I’m listening to a new style of music. It starts with one band, and then some searching and then next thing you know, I’ve got an entirely huge playlist to listen to of a completely new genre. First of all, I’ve been incredibly obsessed with fun. a lot. I’ve been listening to it, trying to learn some stuff on keyboards and just becoming generally obsessed. I just love the sound of it and the voice and the harmonies and everything about the music, just really gets my blood flowing.

So, the other night, I did some looking for Similar Artists on last.fm and I found a lot that I had already known about and a few, which I’m most impressed with, that I had never heard of before. It’s resulted in the same type of music playing over and over again for days now. I just can’t get enough of this indie/pop-punk/folk-y type of music. I don’t even know what to call it.

Let’s go through some of the stuff that’s absolutely topping my list right now:

  • Rivers and Roads
    The Head and The Heart
  • All of the Drugs
    The Brobecks
  • Lakes of Pontchartrain
    The Be Good Tanyas
  • Girl U Want
    Freelance Whales
  • Weeping Willow
    The Hush Sound
  • One Foot
    fun.

And when I haven’t been listening to the indie/pop-punk/folk-y type of music, I’ve been listening to nothing but dubstep. I don’t know what it is about dubstep that has me so in love with it. Maybe it’s because it’s a type of music that you can’t help but feel in every bone and every muscle and even the tiniest of ligaments. Maybe it’s because no matter how quiet you have your stereo, the bass throbs beneath your seat. Maybe it’s any number of things.

The kids even like dubstep, which I’m always surprised by, especially Kaeidyn – who normally chooses whatever is popular with the other kids at school. Like Katy Perry and Carly Rae Jepsen. But, I was smart and discovered a whole bunch of Transformers-esque songs, and now they’re all obsessed.

  • My Name is Skrillex
    Skrillex
    The kids absolutely love this song. They often replace the Skrillex with their own name or Optimus for Optimus Prime 😉
  • Optimus Prime
    DaggaAgain, the kids love this one. They all scream “Transformers”, almost as soon as this song starts…
  • For Sex
    Mt. EdenI don’t know if this is actually what any of these songs are called, but that’s what they are called on my Grooveshark playlist…
  • Transformers (Skrillex Remix)
    SkrillexAnother one that the kids go nuts over. I swear they know it’s Skrillex too!
  • Internet Connection
    Flux PavilionThis song just always gets me. The second it comes on, I swear my inner self wants to become a pop and locker desperately.

So, that’s some of the awesome stuff we’ve been listening to this last week or so. What’s been on your coming-into-the-New-Year, playlist?

This post is intended for adults 18+


3 Comments

Sexy Dancing and Hopeful Conversations


So, I think the way to get what I want, sexually speaking, from this relationship is to wear heels. A few nights back, The Boyfriend had mentioned that one day he would like to have sex with me wearing nothing but high heels. Isn’t it nice that days after he mentions a new-found fantasy, I gladly and willingly give it to him?!? Anyways, not the point!

It’s been really hot here, so before the night even got started, I hopped in for a nice cold shower. Then, I slid my heels on and we went out on the deck for a smoke. He’s also mentioned a desire to fuck me on the balcony, but that’s one that I’m a little bit more nervous about. We are literally surrounded by other people and I’m sure one glance out of their balcony doors would give them a nice little show. And while that’s part of the thrill of the whole thing, I’m just not there yet. However, we did tease each other more than a bit on the balcony, giving us the perfect start to a fun-filled evening.

When you get to the edge of my living room, there is a divider wall and then the stairs. This divider wall has a post about 5 or 6 inches across that goes right up to the ceiling. I had never realized before last night, but it makes a pretty decent little area to lean up against while he plays from behind. So in my high heels and at this point, nothing but a short housecoat, I instructed him to put on a playlist entitled “sex” and began gently swaying my hips as I bent over and against this post.

As the likes of Rabba Shanks, Barry Manilow, Salt N’ Pepa and Bubba Sparxxx (not a playlist I made, so don’t knock the choices!) flooded the speakers, he came up behind me. Resting his hands on my hips, and pushing himself up against, but not inside of me, he let me continue to curve my hips this way and that and I would even like to believe he was doing a little bit of it himself. I think my wetness took him by surprise, as much as it had taken me the same way.

Gently at first, he thrust himself into me and I continued to grind. He collected my hair in his hands and pulled my head back, causing my whole body to sit into his cock. My legs shook, completely unused to these high heels I was wearing. It’s been a good long while since I’ve even had them on, so I had to keep telling myself, “Just pretend you’re standing on your tip toes!” and I was delighted when this worked, for the most part. Hard, deep and totally sexy thrusting went on for a few minutes, until my calves were on fire from these heels. They’re only about 3 or 4 inches, I think… You’ve probably seen them before. I don’t think I’ve ever worn them for as long as I wore them last night!

I turned around on him and he attempted to raise one leg and enter me up against this post still. Before he even got my leg halfway up, I quickly said no. I was not about to even think about falling down the stairs, which I mean, wouldn’t have been all that easy, but it could’ve happened! He tried saying he had “got me”, but I was not having any of that. I straightened my housecoat out and walked away, instructing him to get our bed ready.

We recently got a webcam and we’ve been making quite a few different videos. It started as my suggestion, the overall record-sex-with-webcam idea. But I wasn’t about to be the one to say, “Wanna turn on the cam tonight?” first, so it was a huge relief when he said it first. I think we’re up to 5 or 6, and chances are you will never see any of them 😉 Again, not the point!

He had promised me earlier in the week that tonight we would watch over all the videos we had made. I had already seen them all but he hadn’t seen any yet. The night before last, we had the camera rolling for our 4th successful go at anal and that was, of course, the video that he wanted to see first. It was already really late by this point, as the previous teasing had probably gone on for over 2 hours! So, The Boyfriend was pretty tired and it was rather visible, but he patiently sat watching fighting the urge to close his eyes and it ended up being much more fun than I had expected it to be.

As we watched and were both taken aback by how quickly the anal happened, even though we felt like it had gone on for so long, The Boyfriend began talking about how proud he was that I did so well. A few good girls got mentioned, causing me to shiver with joy every single time. Then, he said, “We should get you a sticker chart…”, to which my body completely stiffened as I anticipated the words that escaped his lips moments later, “… And we could track how many times in a period of time that we successfully have anal. Then, if you get that certain number of stickers, you could get a spanking.” I was literally speechless!!

Imagine my absolute delight when he said all this. I told him that what he just described incorporates so much of what I want. Rewards for good (sexual) deeds, anal training and impact play. And all I have to do is have anal every once and awhile. Sounds like a good freaking deal to me! Who knows if it will ever go past that conversation – knowing him it won’t – but for now, I’m just going to live vicariously through that conversation. And now, we’re back at the video…

TO BE CONTINUED ….


3 Comments

My Punk Rock Playlist


Tonight, I’m travelling back to the year 2000-ish and rocking out with my cock out to some good ole fashioned punk rock. It started with a desire to listen to Against Me! after discovering a new band called fun. This has led me on a journey through Rancid, Anti-Flag, The Distillers, Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards, Choking Victim, Less Than Jake, and tons more!

I used to be so into punk music that I even had my own little zine called “It’s a Punk Rock Life” (I can’t believe this is still on the web! I warn you, it’s not very good ;). My phase lasted for about 4 years, where the only music I believed was good music was punk music. I had a mohawk, which I begged my mother for for months on end, I went to punk shows and skanked in the pit, and I even argued with The Distillers when it was rumored that they would be joining Warner Bros. Records via their forums…

So, here’s 20 of my favorite punk rock songs:

  1. Ruby Soho
    by Rancid
  2. Sound System
    by Operation Ivy
  3. Die for your Government
    by Anti-Flag
  4. Those Anarcho Punx Are Mysterious
    by Against Me!
  5. Look What Happened
    by Less Than Jake
  6. Crack Rock Steady
    by Choking Victim
  7. Gyspy Rose Lee
    by the Distillers
  8. Hollywood Babylon
    by the Misfits
  9. Exploited Barmy Army
    by The Exploited
  10. Big A, Little a
    by Crass
  11. Kill the Poor
    by Dead Kennedys
  12. I Fell Asleep on My Arm
    by The Aquabats
  13. Whoops, I Od’d
    by NOFX
  14. New Noise
    by Refused
  15. Fuck Authority
    by Pennywise
  16. Raise Your Voice!
    by Bad Religion
  17. Swing Life Away
    by Rise Against
  18. At least I’m not as sad as I used to be
    by fun.
  19. To Have or To Have Not
    by Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards
  20. This Town
    by Deviates

So there you have it, there’s some of what I’m listening to tonight. What are your favorite punk rock bands? What do you think was the best time period for punk rock? Have you ever seen the movie SLC Punk? If not, you should!


Leave a comment

Tonight’s Playlist


Sometimes, I’m just really impressed with the flow of my playlists. I like listening to what I’ve got and I thought to myself, “I can’t believe I’ve NEVER written a post like this…”, and so here we are! I’m always bragging about my varied musical tastes and how I can’t say I have a favorite “style” because I seriously love listening to EVERYTHING!

Yes, there are songs or artists that I’m not particularly fond of, but you’ll never hear me ask you to change a song, and I always try to pick out the positive in something. This results in some pretty interesting variations in a playlist, but tonight’s has stuck to a general type of course and I’m enjoying my listening experience.

So thanks to Grooveshark, I’m here tonight, listening to some really great music, which started with The Boyfriend’s suggestion of one of his favorite bands, Great Big Sea. I’m not going to list off every song on the playlist, but I will list off the artist’s and the songs that I think you really need to hear.

  1. Great Big Sea
    • The Chemical Worker’s Song
    • Consequence Free
    • Ordinary Day
  2. Crash Test Dummies
    • Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
    • Mary Moon
    • The Ballad of Peter Pumpkin Head
    • Superman
  3. The Counting Crows
    • Round Here
    • A Long December
    • Big Yellow Taxi
  4. The Trews
    • Tired of Waiting
    • Paranoid Freak
    • Man of Two Minds
    • Poor Ol’ Broken Hearted Me
  5. Fleetwood Mac
    • Dreams
    • Never Going Back Again
  6. The Be Good Tanyas
    • Human Thing
    • Lakes of Pontchartrain
    • In Spite of all the Damage
  7. The Wailin’ Jennys
    • Long Time Traveler
    • Saucy Sailor
    • Deeper Well
    • Cherry Blossom Love
    • The Parting Glass (known to me as “The song I’m going to play at my funeral… It’s decided!”)
  8. The Presidents of the United States of America
    • Kitty
    • Lump
    • Dune Buggy
  9. 4 Non Blondes
    • What’s Up

So there’s what I’m listening to tonight. What are you listening to? No really, I want to know, I’m running out of new and interesting music!

This post is intended for adults 18+


1 Comment

Some of My Posts on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous


I’ve been working really hard on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous lately and have written a couple blog posts that I’d love for you to check out and leave your feedback on. I’ve been trying really hard to write more about blogging, though it’s not as easy as it seems!

You can always check out my latest blog posts on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous by visiting my blog page. So, here’s some of the posts that I’ve been doing:

  • 10 Songs About Blogging and the Internet
    Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous finally jumped on the YouTube bandwagon!! To commemorate, here are 10 YouTube videos that features blogging, the internet, Twitter and Facebook.
  • 800+ Post Ideas for Your Blog
     Days of scouring the internet has resulted in the most comprehensive list of blog post ideas on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Take these ideas, apply them to your blog, and you’ll have enough posts to last you 2 1/2 years, assuming you post everyday!
  • 7 Tips for a Mind-Boggling Orgasm
     These 7 tips are sure to help you reach a mind-boggling, leg-shaking, face-numbing, body-floating orgasm! I’ll give you a sneak peak at 3 of the tips:

    • Get Naked
    • Foreplay First
    • Don’t Take Things Too Seriously
  • My Top 5 Blogging Tips
    What every blogger should know! 5 of my best blogging tips including facts and statistics like “readers are 56% more likely to click on a blue link“.
  • One Chore: The Dishes
    I have two erotic stories/fantasies written on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. This one is about domestic discipline, which is also a forum topic. My other erotic story/fantasy on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is Caged Cuckold which, you guessed it, is all about cuckoldry.

So there’s some of my favorite blog posts that I’ve written on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Leave a comment and let me know which one is your favorite and if you haven’t become a member on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous yet, you should!


Leave a comment

You’re Gonna Miss Me…


So, I finally got around to reading my Google Reader, which I hadn’t done in a few days. I’ve got to stop waiting so long for two reasons. One because then they pile up like crazy. Today, I had 498 unread items waiting for me and only got through 200 of them before my internet froze up. Second, because I miss some really great things!

Mashable, one of the many blogs I follow, posted a really great video that I’d love to share with you, because not only do I love that the girl is using a plastic cup as her drum, this girl has a truly amazing voice. And just below that you can hear the original of the song.

I just seriously think this song is so pretty. I’m really glad that I got to hear it. Now here is the actual version by Lulu and the Lampshades.

Which version do you like better? I personally prefer the cover more than the original, mainly because you can hear the lyrics better and the cup is done more cleanly. It’s just a really pretty song. Super thumbs up to Lulu and the Lampshades!


Leave a comment

Ramblings…


Today has been an overwhelming and stressful day. It started when I woke up this morning. I had forgotten that I didn’t work until after noon today because Kaeidyn had her assembly, so when the alarm went off, I was sure that it was going to be another morning of rushing around to get everyone ready to go. I come running up the stairs, sure that I’m going to be pressed for time, when I realized that today wasn’t the day.

Then, I went into work late today because Kaeidyn had this big year-end assembly that she really wanted me to go to. It was a lot of fun, though I think I’ve decided that they boys need to stay home on days like that. The principal ended up asking me to take Carter outside because he was being too loud. Luckily my Mom was there, so she took Carter outside so that I could enjoy the rest of the assembly. And I did. She was very cute and I love listening to her sing.

I’m so much like my Mom that way. I always hated it growing up. But the second any of the kids starts to sing, I automatically tear up. I just always find it to be so adorable and it makes my heart feel good. I played guitar and sang during all of my pregnancies, and when they were babies, I would play guitar and let them sit with me. It means a lot to me that they are musical, just like their Mom.

Then I went into work, and it was just crazy busy. Not because it actually is crazy busy, but because we’re currently short on cleaners and when that happens, it feels like it’s hectic and like everything is a huge rush. The good thing is, I’m pretty good at prioritizing and keeping level-headed AT WORK – because I suck at it at home…

The biggest part of my stresses today is talking to my Mom. She tends to be my continual reality slap to the face. And while that’s one of the biggest things that I appreciate about her, in the moment of the slap, it’s hard for me to remember that I really appreciate it and instead it just brings me down. It doesn’t help that at the time I see it as her adding more things to my already full plate. I know she does it for my own good, and like she said today, I’ve “had to go through worse”, it just sucks.

I have so much to do, and so little desire/time to do it with/in, and it just feels like it’s way more than it actually is. I hate how the household and family stress -things like finances, discipline, school, babysitters, cleaning, things that need to be bought – tend to build up over a few weeks and you feel like you can handle it because you have time. Then it gets to the day when you feel like it’s overwhelming and all that building up hits like a ton of bricks. And it makes that one bad day carry on over multiple days and just as you feel like everything is back on track and “normal” again, it starts to build up again. It makes it more exhausting than anything. I have no idea if any of that made any sense…

I have a ton of phone calls to make. Originally I was supposed to make them tomorrow, but I’m probably going to have to work all day tomorrow, so I’ll have to make them on Monday. It’s not even really a ton, it just feels that way because it’s things I don’t want to deal with. That I have a lot of anger about having to deal with it.

I have some big decisions to make regarding the kids and Alfie, because things aren’t so good in that department. I don’t want to go into full out details, because I’m still trying to figure out what parts of it are my true feelings and which ones are the parts that are leftover hurt and anger. It’s extremely complicated and even harder to explain. I’m still in, what I’m sure is called, the healing process. And it’s a horrible time for me to have to make important decisions regarding my kids and their Dad. Because it’s just a mixture of all types of negative emotions that I’m still working on coming to terms with. I don’t want to be the type of parent who lets my own emotions negatively impact my kids relationship with their other parent. I want them to come to their own conclusions about whether or no he’s a good Dad and whether or not he’s worthy of them. But they are not old enough for that. They are still learning what is right and wrong, and unfortunately I’m still trying to define that for myself and therefore, for them.

It’s such a complicated thing. I hope I didn’t confuse you too much there… Like I said, it’s been an overwhelming and stressful day. I am so lucky to have The Boyfriend though, and I’ve really been shown that this past week. Today was absolutely the best, because he knew that I was beyond stressed almost the minute I walked through the door and he sat there so nicely and just listened to me ramble on and on about all the stress. When I was done, he offered his two cents and let me ramble on and on about his two cents and he was so calm and patient and understanding. I’m just really lucky to have a guy that listens to me.

During my stressed-out-rant, I kept saying, “I wish I could just figure out one thing that was a good de-stressor” and after venting to him, I realized he is my de-stressor. He just makes me feel good and I’ve never felt like I needed to question whether he loved me or not, and that’s a very powerful thing for me. I just really love that guy!

So, how has your week been? Any big stressors on your end? How have you dealt with your stress? Did you try any new stress techniques recently? Let’s do a poll about stress, shall we?