The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

This post is intended for adults 18+


17 Comments

100+ Sexual Bucket List Ideas


A couple posts ago, we went over an Introduction to Sexual Bucket Lists. How to make one, what to include and what it should look like. Today, I’d like to give you over 100 ideas of things to add to your own bucket list. If you have more ideas you think should be added to this list, please leave your comments below.

Continue reading

March 16


2 Comments

Stressed Out!!!


Today has taken just about every ounce of energy I’ve ever had in my entire life. The energy that I haven’t used up is being used up making sure I don’t crumble. It’s been a rough day to say the least.

Those of you who follow me on Twitter have heard me talking about crazy people a lot lately, as we’ve been dealing with my brother re-entering his psychosis, which they are now deeming as schizophrenia.

It all started a couple years back when my brother found out his girlfriend at the time was pregnant, though there was a lot of rumors that she had cheated on him and the kid wasn’t his. To this day, we still don’t know and she refuses to let him find out. He suddenly ditched out to BC and then moved around a lot from there, all the while experimenting with all sorts of drugs including Ketamine and MDMA.

Then, he came back in to town and he was straight up crazy. Constantly talking to himself and muttering under his breath. Eventually he gets sent out to the mental hospital here and things were looking up. He was taking his medication and everything seemed to be going fine. He got a job, found a place to live, and it looked like his life was on track.

Out of nowhere, about 3 or 4 weeks ago, he gets himself a girlfriend and next thing we know, he’s back to crazy. Worse than before. News hits of the earthquake in Japan, and suddenly he’s convinced that it’s going to happen to us here. Then he starts believing that the people at his work are out to kill him, so he stops going to work. After that, he starts showing up on everybody’s doorstep at odd hours of the day and night and insisting on giving everyone presents. I got broken markers and dice…

My Mom has suffered the blunt of his lunacy. She doesn’t take it very lightly at all and tends to often put all the blame on herself. Her and I are also very close, and very close to my brother. So because she suffered the blunt of it, I suffered the after effects of it. It’s been mentally overwhelming to say the least.

Today, we took him to the hospital under the rouse that we were going to get test results, the entire time Mom and I both secretly working towards getting him admitted to the hospital again. It took 6 1/2 hours, but I am relieved to say that for now, he is admitted to the hospital and is so far saying that he’ll take the medications they give him.

I’m saddened by the fact that we’re just going to have to get used to him being this way. I’m worried that he’ll never be the same brother I once had. I’m angry that our health system is so amazing, but at the same time so crappy. I only say that because when I went through my depression or whichever diagnoses you want to believe, the mental health system was my greatest savior. They really helped me. And I think, in comparison, what I went through mentally wasn’t nearly as bad as what my brother is going through mentally, and it seems to be so difficult to get him the help that he needs. It bugs me that people who don’t want to live, seem to be able to get all the help in the world, but people who do want to live and just have something seriously wrong with their brains, can’t get any help…

Add on top of the stress of my brother, all the other many stresses I’m feeling right now, and I just feel like sleeping through it all. From financial issues to not knowing what’s going to happen to my income now that I’m working, to having a deadline on filing my taxes, and getting a load limiter on my electricity, I am just incredibly stressed. I’m just glad that stress doesn’t affect me the way it used to, during what I think I’m going to start calling my “dark days”.

Then I’ve been massively stressing about Alfie-related things lately, which just bugs the crap out of me. I don’t know why it’s all happening now, this intense and extreme anger I feel towards him. The other night, my brother goes off about needing to get Alfie and The Boyfriend back together as friends, and I just straight out snapped at him. I’ve gotten to the point where just the mere mention of his name makes my blood curdle. I feel like screaming at anyone who respects the guy, and hitting the ones that count him as his friend, and I especially despise how many people ask me how he’s doing, as if I freaking care!

Today I made a very official decision though. For those who have read the better majority of this blog, you might remember awhile back I was complaining about Keirnan constantly coming home with pull-ups on. It was bugging me a lot, because Keirnan has been potty-trained for close to a year now. Every time the kids go to Alfie’s, he puts a pull-up on Keirnan, so Keirnan just does his business in the pull-up. When he gets home, he ends up forgetting that he’s not wearing the pull-up and pees the bed.

It’s been two weeks since they went to Alfie’s last and Keirnan hasn’t had a single nighttime accident.  I’ve decided that if Alfie takes the kids again and Keirnan comes home with a pull-up on, I’ll be putting an end to the weekend visits. He’s potty-trained and if Alfie and his family can’t accept that and respect it, then they don’t need to be spending time with him. That may sound really bitchy, but I’ve successfully (and rather easily) potty-trained all of my kids and every time they put a pull-up on him, he regresses and it seriously bugs me. Keirnan’s got enough regression issues as it is, he doesn’t need potty-training added to that list!!

The Boyfriend is talking about going back to working graveyards. On one hand, I want him to simply for the money. At this point, we could really use that extra bit of money and the full-time hours. On the other hand, I’m freaking out about the idea. I remember what it was like him working graveyards, and I’ve said to him in the past that if he had stayed working graveyards the likelihood is that we would’ve already broken up. It put way too much strain on our relationship, though a big part of that was because Alfie was still here! I’m just worried about the whole idea of it again, so it’s a big ole mental battle.

Works been going really amazing and I’m absolutely loving this job. It’s been a really rewarding experience for me, and being the computer whiz that I am, I’m constantly coming up with ways in which our department can be run better. The best part is, my co-workers really listen to me when I voice my ideas and that makes coming up with those ideas a lot more fun. It’s nice having that 3 hours away from the hustle and bustle of daily life and stressing about my own crap.

I’m really hoping things start looking up really soon though. Right now, I feel like I’m constantly struggling to be my happy, cheery self. And it wouldn’t be so bad if it came on really gradually, but it didn’t. It just suddenly hit and that’s the part that I’m struggling the most with, is that I’ve had no time to prepare for the stress, mentally or physically.

After months of having little to no pain in my knees, suddenly it’s back with a vengeance. Then, I lost a couple pounds and an inch off my waist and hips, and now it’s all back and I have a feeling I’ve gained a couple of pounds. It’s been a rough week, which results in almost no eating during the day and then porking at night. Or results in me being incredibly lazy and hardly ever moving from my chair.

I also don’t think I’ve been sleeping very well. I seem to fall asleep relatively fast, which is completely new to me, but I have a hard time staying asleep. Waking up is being a nightmare lately, and I seem to be having massive issues with it. When I do wake up, I’m incredibly grumpy for at least the first half hour and that just stresses me out more…

So that’s my week in a nutshell! How has your week been going? What’s stressing you out right now?

This post is intended for adults 18+


4 Comments

An Intro to Sexual Bucket Lists


Sexual Bucket List searches seem to bring some of the greatest traffic to The Rantings of a Tortured Mind. Some of the most popular search terms include “sexual to do list”, “sexual bucket list”, “sexual bucket list ideas” and “bdsm to do list”.

Today, I not only present you with a great strategy to create your own sexual bucket list, I’m also inviting you to check out my own new and improved sexual bucket list to help you generate ideas. Read on to learn more about sexual bucket lists.

What is a Sexual Bucket List?

The idea of creating a Bucket List, a list of things to do before you die or kick the bucket (hence, Bucket List), became increasingly popular after the release of Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson’s movie “The Bucket List”. The two men, both terminally ill, escape from a cancer ward to spend their final days on a mission to complete a wishlist of to do’s before they die.

Shortly after the release of the movie, the blogosphere became filled with bucket lists. You could read about people’s greatest wants and there are even a few blogs about bloggers who are working to complete their bucket list. Soon after, adult bloggers jumped on the bucket list bandwagon with their very own style of bucket list, the sexual bucket list.

Essentially, your sexual bucket list is a way for you to gather all your sexual desires into one spot. Everything you’ve ever wanted to do, secretly thought about, or want to experience more of, can be added to your sexual bucket list.

The sexual bucket list offers you the ability to evaluate, define, discover and process your sexual urges, desires and fantasies. One of my favorite things about a sexual bucket list is its ability to open the lines of communications between partners where fantasies and desires are concerned. Exchanging sexual bucket lists can result in interesting fun.

What does a Sexual Bucket List look like?

That’s really up to you! I personally, being an organization freak, enjoy making up headings for different categories, and using cute fonts and bullet lists. You can see my bucket list here. But that’s not the only way to make your sexual bucket list.

You could write out detailed descriptions of the sexual activities you’d like to have before you kick the bucket. You could just do a long list of the things you’d like to achieve. If you’re blogging and really want to have some impact, you could just do pictures of others doing things you want to do (of course, being careful not to infringe on any copyright laws) or you could dedicate an entire blog to writing up fantasies of the things that you’d like to do sexually.

What your sexual bucket list looks like, is completely up to you. You can write it on your blog, in a word processing program or Notepad, write it in a journal, or write it on a scrap of paper that you keep tucked in your nightstand drawer, or pants pocket (great if you’re known for checking things off your sexual bucket list).

What to include in your Sexual Bucket List?

Again, this is really up to you. What do you want to experience sexually that you haven’t already? Your sexual bucket list also doesn’t have to just include sex acts, but can also include erotic acts or even sexual enhancement acts. For instance, if you wanted to experience Tantric Sex, you could have as a sexual bucket list item, “Attend a Tantric Sex Class”. Or let’s say you wanted to experience what it was like to take an erotic photograph, you could have a sexual bucket list item, “Learn how to use camera lighting to soften nude photographs”. Hopefully, you see where I’m going with this. The list item doesn’t have to be directly sex, but can be an item that will enhance and assist you in defining and experiencing your sexuality.

There are literally thousands, if not millions, of different sex acts, fetishes and kinks in the world. We’ve listed just over 100 ideas alone. Which ones interest you? Which ones could you see yourself doing? Which ones are your fantasies? Which ones would you like to experience before you kick the bucket?

Why make a Sexual Bucket List?

Why not? There are a bunch of reasons why you should make a sexual bucket list and virtually no reasons why you shouldn’t. First off, it’s a great reference point for you to always have clearly defined limits and boundaries. It’s also wonderful for deciding what it is you really want for yourself sexually. We are all sexual beings, and we should embrace that.

A sexual bucket list can also be a tool for communication about your sexual wants and needs. Whether you’re sharing the actual list with your sex partner or using it as starting point for a verbal conversation, it takes the awkwardness out of talking about sex and fantasies.

In my opinion, defining your sexuality is key to comfort-ability in your sexuality. The more you know about who you are as a sexual being, the more you can enjoy having sex. The only way sex is going to be amazing for you, is if you clearly know what you like and what you don’t like. Once you’ve got that figured out, you’ll know where you want to go, sexually speaking. The sexual bucket list is your opportunity to explore and discover your deepest desires and darkest fantasies.

Why so morbid, Sexual Bucket List?

When I’m creating my own sexual bucket list, the thought of death never enters my brain. We all die, and I’m over it. Yes, the concept of a sexual bucket list is quite morbid, but the idea of it is quite exhilarating. And don’t worry, no one expects you to die if you complete all the items on your sexual bucket list!

I generally tend not to use the terms Sexual Bucket List, mostly because I don’t like the idea of putting sex and death together. I call my bucket list, my Sexual To Do List. You can call your sexual bucket list whatever you’d like to call it, you can even call it nothing at all.

Your sexual bucket list also doesn’t have to be a list about things you’re going to do before you can die. It can just be a list of things to do, period. And your sexual bucket list can change and evolve, just as your sexuality can. So don’t be afraid to go back and modify your list whenever it feels like you need to.

Conversation Starters

  • Have you created a sexual bucket list? What was the experience like for you? If you have a link to your sexual bucket list, please feel free to leave it in the comments.
  • What are your thoughts on sexual bucket lists? Do you think they are beneficial, or do you think they are a waste of time?
  • Who would you share your bucket list with? Friends, families, partners, anyone willing to read?
  • Have you checked anything off your own sexual bucket list? Share that with us in the comments.
  • What are some ideas for things to include in a sexual bucket list? Vanilla or kinky, I want your suggestions.
  • Is there anything about sexual bucket lists that you would like to learn more about?
  • Any other thoughts? Share them in the comments!


3 Comments

New & Improved


Before going any further on this blog, please take a moment to read The Disclaimer.

Recently, The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – Valerie Rayne Rants, underwent an extreme overhaul of a renovation. From a new theme, to new menus and brand new featured images created by me, the blog has changed to a great degree.

This is just an introductory post to get you familiarized with the things that you can do on this blog. Please don’t hesitate to voice your thoughts and opinions here, and if you like a post, I’d love for you to share it.

Learn more about me, Valerie Rayne, in a variety of ways. Here are a few of my favorites:

There are a bunch of different ways that you can interact with the blog and me including:

At the top of some posts, pages and comments, you’ll notice a little thumbs up and thumbs down. If you thought a post, page or comment was good, just click the little thumbs up button. I especially want to get to know what my readers like and don’t like, so if you’ve got a moment, I’d love for you to fill out my little marketing survey. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions or opinions, I’d love to hear from you!