The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

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It Happened!


After much complaining and two years of impatiently waiting, it finally happened. I finally got a spanking!!

Okay, maybe not a spanking exactly. Two hard smacks, but still, closer than I’ve been in two freaking years!!

I had spent the night pestering The Boyfriend about this issue, without actually being bickering or nagging about it, just letting him know that it was on my mind. At one point, I mentioned to him that quite a long time ago he had made all these statements about how he should have to spank me every time he gets anal and that he’s gotten anal quite a few times without having to give me a spanking at all. We laid down in bed and gave this “erotic anime romp” series on Netflix a try out, Girls Bravo. We’re only two episodes in, so I haven’t really begun to form a strong opinion, but it was definitely a good warmer up to porn.

We seemed to be having a really difficult time picking porn, because I couldn’t seem to take it seriously if my life depended on it. Finally, I decided to stop looking with him in mind and ended up choosing a Kink.com Public Disgrace video (some of my favorite porn ever by the way people!) and it definitely did the trick. I was absolutely entangled in this film and could not take my eyes of the screen for anything, I was just in heaven watching this girl get used and abused and all the people. Still sends shivers down my spine.

I rolled onto my side and The Boyfriend snuggled up close behind me, his naked cock warm as it rest at the meeting of my legs and rear, flexing to meet with my moistening lips. I reached behind him and grabbed frantically at his ass, remarking on it’s amazing shape and it’s perfectly adorable fit against my hand. He slid his hand over my hip and up to my breast, forcing it this way and that, squeezing roughly at my nipples. My nails dug into his flesh as his hand reached up and his fingers gripped my throat, his other hand sliding under my head, trapping my head down by my hair.

My other hand went to his arm and I dug my nails in there, as he slowly slid his throbbing cock into my wet slit. We both paused as he reached the peak of his descent and our breaths were held in our chests, mine in his firm grip. His hand moved to my shoulder as he held me still for a few hard pumps, before releasing me to play on him. I slowly moved my hips against him, my soft lips circling his swollen member and I gently rocked allowing him more access and then only allowing shallow penetration on his behalf. As I pulled off of him, his cock drenched in my juices, he slowly pushed back in, but this time it wasn’t into my pink heaven.

It seemed so easy this time compared to every other time. I was so wet and he was so covered in my wetness that things were gliding with ease. As it became uncomfortable, he grabbed me tighter and whispered in my ear as I moaned out to him, “Daddy… Daddy… Daddy…” – my favorite thing to call him in the whole world, even though we don’t participate in any type of Daddy/Girl kinks. He grabbed my hip and pushed forward a little when I felt a sudden Smack! on my ass.

A few more quick thrusts and another Smack! on my ass. My moans of “Daddy” became much louder as he thrust harder and harder, a sure sign that he was in the midst of cumming. He reached between my legs, opening them wide and his fingers went to immediate work on my clit, his cock slowly losing girth in my tight hole. I squirmed frantically on him, bucking my hips wildly against his fingers, choking out words as he brought me to a very intense orgasm that resulted in my entire body going completely stiff next to him.

I have still yet to figure out how I feel about this spanking…

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Did I Tell You About Last Night?


Thanks to The Boyfriend’s birthday, it has been two really great nights of sex-having and I don’t think it will be our last – not for at least another two days. I always love having birthday sex, especially when it’s not my birthday, because somehow it just always feels better. Even when it was the same sex you had just the night before, add the anniversary of someone’s birth in there and things just seem hotter.

The only thing that has even slightly sucked at all about the two nights (okay, technically, they were both in the same day. But one was at like 3 AM on Sunday and the other was just before midnight of that same day – but I slept in between, so that’s a different day for me…) was the porn. Let me clarify. I love watching porn and for the most part, tend to really enjoy doing it during the foreplay stage of sex. I don’t need a lot to get me ready to go for sex, so the foreplay is more for The Boyfriend than it is for me.

However, I’m really starting to not like his taste in porn – and not because he has bad taste, but because everything he wants to watch makes me insanely jealous. And, if this were the me of 5 or 6-years ago, it would be jealousy because he’s getting so turned on by these women on the screen, but that’s not it at all. No, instead, I suffer with being jealous because I so desperately want the things that he really enjoys watching.

When it comes to porn, The Boyfriend is all for anything lesbian. If it’s got 2 girls in it, he’s game. He even prefers that, when we pick heterosexual porn, there be 1 guy and 2 girls (at least), because he really has a thing for watching lesbians. And trust me, I really do too. But immediately, the second he even suggests it, I just fill with a whiny type of jealousy that normally results in me playfully sobbing, “I want to do that!!!”. But what bugs me most, is not that I want to do that, but because when I whine it at him and then try to say something along the lines of, “You should let me do that!”, it’s just a conversation silencer. He immediately goes quiet and I swear, intentionally stays that way so that I won’t say anything else about it…

Rant over!

So anyways, we ended up coming across some incredibly sexy videos dealing with lesbians and double dildos (another thing that The Boyfriend has really gotten into recently). The first night, I don’t think we watched for long at all before beginning our serious playing – where penetrative sex is being had, but we’re not actually having sex, more like just teasing each other for prolonged lengths of time. The most memorable moment of the night was getting up to get a drink and being stopped mid-way to be bent over and pounded from behind, my hands on the floor near my feet. It felt good and he enjoyed the view.

The Boyfriend had one birthday wish, one that the mere thought of the wish coming true, completely ruined the chances of it ever happening. As I’ve probably said before, The Boyfriend enjoys anal quite a bit – not really sure why he enjoys it as much as he does, and he definitely doesn’t know either, but he does. I, on the other hand, really don’t care for anal sex. I grew up wanting to be a total anal whore, but now that I’ve tried anal sex my required three times, I just can’t seem to really enjoy it. There have been a few times but for the most part, if and when I do it, I’m totally just doing it to please him.

It came as no surprise that his birthday wish would be anal and before he even said it, I knew he was going to ask if I’d be down. I had mentally prepared myself to say yes and was intentionally trying to rough up the serious playing so that I’d be more likely to enjoy the discomfort anal sex brings me. Alas, as he whispered in my ear, “Can I?”, the entire thought of it proved to be just a little too much for his (to quote Sadopaeidia – the best book ever!) “John Thomas” and he ended up cumming right there and then. I had already had a short orgasm earlier on in the playing and was quite pleased when he asked me if I thought I could cum again while he went limp inside me – so hot!

The next day (although, refer to the point about this above, because it was technically still the same day), he was doing little things all day long to keep me quite ready for more. Like when he needed to use my soft clothes to wipe one of his games off and he gently rubs his fingertips up my legs, starting from my ankles and all the way up to my inner thigh or the gentle kisses he pampered my neck with as I sat on the computer blogging away. By the time we got into bed, all I could do was think about what we were going to do to each other.

We’d both been talking about 69’ing for some time and just never actually found ourselves doing it. But it had been a really long time since we last 69’ed, so I put my foot down and demanded some oral sex! Again the lesbian double dildo-type porn was put on and it didn’t take either one of us long to decide that we were ready to really begin getting it on. It had been so long that we were both a little awkward about it, as I expected. We couldn’t get comfortable, my pussy was up too high for his tongue to reach and my boobs kept getting in the way of me being comfortable on top of him, but eventually we got it all sorted out.

I could not get over how long he seemed to be and how difficult I was finding it to get most of him in my mouth. Usually, it doesn’t seem that hard. After our orgasms had finished, which beautifully happened at the exact same moment, I mentioned how long he seemed and it turned out that someone had spent some time shaving – not a lot, just a trim (because that’s how I like it). I was most pleased and feel asleep dreaming of trimmed pubic hair.

I am sincerely hoping that tonight will result in another sex-session, but for now, we’re just enjoying the peace and quiet of everyone’s bedtime 😉

This post is intended for adults 18+


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We Were Primal


It doesn’t happen often, especially now that we’ve been together this long, but sometimes the Boyfriend surprises me. First of all, I’ve been tracking my periods and our sexual activities with an app that I downloaded for my BlackBerry. Imagine my delight when I discovered that there have only been 3 days in the last 2 weeks where we didn’t have sex and on those days, I still orgasmed. That’s right. Orgasmed every day for two weeks 😉

Anyways, back to the surprise…

The Boyfriend spent most of yesterday and with a terrible headache. On one hand, we think he has a sinus infection and on the other, it looks like he got hit in the head – though neither of us can figure out when or why it would’ve happened. This headache has been an ongoing issue for him for quite sometime now. So I spent the day trying to nurse him better, cuddling lots and staying close to one another.

Carter was having a difficult time falling asleep last night and I thought for sure it was going to put a huge damper on all my hopes of sex, but The Boyfriend seemed almost determined. A little light bulb flashed on over my head. We put SpongeBob on for Carter and whipped out my BlackBerry for us to watch porn.

We picked a holiday-themed group sex video, one guy three girls, and had quite the long discussion about the stamina of these guys. “I couldn’t imagine having that much stimulation going on and not cumming over and over again, could you?”, to which he responded that he definitely didn’t think he could handle it. And while he may not be able to handle it, it obviously turned him on. We had only been watching for a few minutes and he was raging to go.

He was very into the oral sex happening between this guy and the three girls, which I was surprised by, because he normally doesn’t pay that much attention to it and definitely never mentions anything about it. But as the one girl stood over the man’s face and buried him in her pussy, The Boyfriend was all talk. “See, that’s how we should do it, that would be fun!”.

His hands were gently caressing my legs and every once and awhile, he would reach up and roughly handle my boobs – something that hasn’t happened in forever and a day. There were hands everywhere. His on me, in me, mine on him, around him. Then, he put his hand on my throat.

He was rough and gentle all at the same time and I kept whispering to him, “I don’t want to cum yet…”. He grabbed my throat and spread his fingers out, until his entire strong hand was covering my entire throat. He pushed down and slowly up, his fingers brushing across my chin softly, before grabbing my jaw an guiding my face to meet him in a passionate and frantic kiss.

Our holiday porn had ended and we decided to experiment with some hentai. I personally had never actually seen any. Pictures, yes. Video, no. It didn’t last long, mainly because we weren’t watching with the volume up, so couldn’t follow the apparently intense storyline. We’ll have to give it another try, another night. So, The Boyfriend suggested lesbian porn, as he always does.

This was by far our least favorite porn of the night. But there were a couple times that it opened up some sexy discussion between us. Mostly about my desires to be with a woman. Lots of “I want to do that!” coming from me. We even had a cheesy moment when I said, “You could watch, you just can’t touch. And even then, I’ve been fantasizing a lot lately about another girl sitting on your face while I ride your cock and her and I makeout.”, and while his cock jumped beneath my hand, he responded, “But you’re the only girl I want…”. Can I hear an AWWW!?!

We gave up on this particular porn after they just began repeating everything they had just done. For three girls, they weren’t very creative… Another lesbian porn was chosen, this one with some impact play. I couldn’t stay watching because it was making me too jealous. This girl gets her pussy cropped and I was almost in tears with jealousy. I just kept saying, “I want that, so bad!”. It was not long before he was keeping me distracted with cock.

He crawled on top of me. I was so beyond wet that penetration was simple and he easily went deep. I was frantically gasping, “You’re so big, so long!” and he whispered back, “Do you want more of me?”, as he pushed just a tiny bit deeper. I yelped, “There’s more?”, seriously thinking there was no way. Sure enough, he was able to get deeper and my hands clawed furiously at his back, through his hair.

By this point, every one of our inhibitions had completely disappeared. We were primal. I half-moaned, half-growled at him, “I want you to break my pussy with your huge cock!”. This whole concept, his huge cock and breaking my pussy, really got to us both and you could tell by the change in our demeanor. “Yeah, you want me to damage your pussy? Tell me you want me to smash your pussy with my monster cock!”. Breathlessly, I repeated his words as he pounded deep into me.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and forcefully pushed him off of me. “Suck my clit!”. Like a bee to honey, he hungrily devoured my pussy. I grabbed his hair and asked him if he enjoyed her sweet taste, and he moaned, sending vibrations throughout my body. I lifted my hips, inviting more and grabbed his head for rougher.

I got on top of him, playfully and slowly lowering myself until he was as deep as I could handle. My whole body was feeling the effects of how deeply and roughly he had already had me. He reached between my legs, and as I began bucking wildly, he worked my clit. I knew it wouldn’t take me long and as he asked if he could cum in my mouth, I erupted into a body-quaking orgasm. He said he couldn’t wait and instead of cumming in my mouth, filled my pussy with his warmth.

We both collapsed onto the bed, his head at one end, my head at the other, our legs and bodies still entwined. As his cock throbbed the last bit and began to go limp inside of me, I just had this feeling that if I didn’t cum again, I would be desperately craving him tomorrow.  I reached down and began playing with myself. At first, he tried to keep himself in me, but my pussy was not having any of that. As she pushed him out, he quickly replaced cock with fingers as I roughly worked my clit, now more than craving the second orgasm.

My whole body clenched as I soaked his hand in all of my juices. My nails dug into his legs and keeping quiet was just about the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My muscles were on fire and I could not catch my breath. It was almost a better orgasm than the first!

By this time, it was nearing two in the morning and we were both exhausted. He rested his hand on my leg and fell asleep and I did the same. It was so good!

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Porn and Fisting


So, last night… Last night…

It started as soon as The Boyfriend got home from work. I had been trying to watch a movie on Netflix all day and could not get everyone quiet enough to be able to hear it. Luckily, bedtime wasn’t far away and I was able to finish “After Porn Ends”.

For a long time, as some of you are probably aware, I’ve wanted to do porn. Since the very first time I watched porn. I’ve also recently been propositioned by two different people who would be interested in helping me at least put a portfolio together, again something I’m incredibly interested in.

I’ve told The Boyfriend about my interests from the very beginning of our relationship, I’ve been honest and open about every proposition since they started. So last night, after spending all day messaging back and forth, asking tons of questions with my photographer friend, I said to The Boyfriend, “I really want to do porn!”, to which he hastily responded something along the lines of, “You can’t!”.

I spent the rest of the night in the most terrible funk and I have this feeling that it’s going to last awhile. First of all, I hate that we don’t have a conversation about this. It’s one sentence from each of us and in those sentences, there isn’t any room for negotiation. I hate that we can’t even hypothetically discuss boundaries and limitations and just our feelings about it in general.

I also hate that all these things that he knew I was interested in having as part of my life from the very beginning of our relationship, are being completely neglected because he makes the decision that they should be. I came into this relationship saying that I wanted to be in porn, that I wanted kink as a real and physical part of my life,that I wanted to leave the vanilla existence behind. I laid it all out for him and I’ve been flat out denied it all.

It makes me feel all sorts of negative things about him, about me, about our relationship. It makes me feel hopeless and disappointed and terribly sad. This is not what I signed up for. I did not sign up for never getting a spanking again, I did not sign up for having someone else dictate what I can and cannot do with my body, I did not sign up for constantly having my desires denied…

Part of me wants to tell him, “It’s my body, my life, my choice and you can either support me and what I want or you cannot – in which case, we have some important discussions to have and decisions to make.”. But that’s not the way I want to deal with it. I don’t want to give him an ultimatum…

I want him to open up his mind a little bit and actually put more than two seconds of thought into these decisions. I want him to actually be curious about my interests before just shutting them down. I want him to think about how his automatic no’s are affecting me and more than that, our relationship. I want us to actually talk about it all.

I spent all night making it known that I was not impressed, that I was upset. We watched another movie about porn and throughout the movie, I would make snarky comments about my desire to do these pictures, but nothing more was said on his part.

After the movie, we got ready for bed and I was completely taken aback when his hand traveled to my leg and began gently caressing it. He grabbed my legs and pulled them open, frantically working his hand around the treasures that lie within. Even though I was heartbroken and upset, I was not about to turn down sex…

His cock was raging and within seconds, his hand was utterly drenched in all my wetness. Slowly, he added another finger and another finger, until he had his entire hand inside of me. I thought it was so weird, because just the night before we had been talking about fisting and how much neither of us was really interested in it and here we were, a night later doing exactly that…

It reminded me so much of our first time trying anal. He kept checking in, “Are you okay?”, and his whole demeanor was gentle, caring, and absolutely sexy. He knelt down and worked his hand more and it felt intense, but then he introduced his tongue in the mix. My pussy was completely stuffed full and now my clit was being sucked and nibbled on and my entire body was shaking. He looked up at me and in this totally hot voice asked, “Can I put my finger in your tight little asshole?”.

Honestly, at this point I probably would’ve said yes to anything. I was so close to orgasm as it was. I was so wet that he was able to easily work his way around and once the hand in my vag and the finger in my ass were situated, he dove down and nestled his face back between my legs. I don’t think I’ve ever cum so fast. One suck on my clit and I was there.

He disengaged, which was the oddest sensation in the world before coming up to meet me face-to-face. I was so worried that after having all five fingers in there that I would just feel like a gaping hole, so was beyond surprised when only a few thrusts in, he was cumming hard.

So apparently, we don’t have such a problem with fisting…

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Beautiful Stuff Going on Down There


Well, two weeks into the month of December and we finally had sex. I think this is the longest we had ever gone without having sex, because we were both so sick. Last night, there was no way I could wait any longer. I was doing surprisingly good though, considering I normally get to day 3 and I’m flipping out about it but this time around, I was just too sick to really care.

Last night, I was itching something fierce. I couldn’t stop thinking about sex and The Boyfriend in general. Every single move he would make, every nerdy thing he would say, every time he looked at me, it was like a twinge would go all the way down my back until it was safely nestled in my pelvis. I took a bath and got nice and shaved for him and then crawled into bed. Ever the sweet lover that he is, he spent a good long time massaging my body, which has been relentlessly sore due to this cold. I even got a mini-ass massage which I haven’t had in a really long time. By the time we were laying down getting ready for sex, I was on fire with passion.

He asked if we could watch porn, which originally I was pretty upset about, but then once it got turned on really didn’t care either way. I always take it as a burn at first when we haven’t had sex in awhile and the first time we do, he wants to watch porn. It always makes me feel like I’m simply not enough to get him turned on, even though I have no real reason to think that. If I had said no to the porn, he still would’ve gotten turned on and still would’ve had sex with me. But all in all, I was quite pleased that we watched porn.

First was a video that is shorter than we typically go for when we’re picking porn, but it was a really great video. We’ve been looking for awhile for something with two girls and a double dildo. I’d never personally seen one before and The Boyfriend seriously has this thing for girls fucking other girls with objects, even though it’s only something he enjoys watching and definitely not something he’ll even consider doing. So the first video was two girls and big pink Joymii and while the video itself wasn’t hella great, the idea of it had us both going pretty wild right off the bat.

I kept going off about how I wanted to do that and how that would be a wonderful birthday present one year, a Joymii and a girl to use it on. For the most part, when I start talking about me and sexual activities with other girls, it makes him tense up and his reaction is never exactly what I expect it to be. The idea of me with someone else really bothers him and makes him intensely jealous. I’ve never seen him react to anything like he does when I mention me with someone else, especially other girls. He reached over and put his hand between my legs and I was quickly shut up about my girl-on-girl fantasies.

While he was only lazily playing, just him being that close made me feel like I was on the verge of cumming. I didn’t want to cum yet. I rolled on my side and told him to snuggle up close, but that there was to be absolutely no penetration. Our genitals disagreed. Every time we moved, penetration was inevitable. Eventually, I just stopped trying and allowed the penetration to happen. We carried on for awhile with me on my side, more teasing than actually having sex. Then, I rolled on my back and we continued on this way for quite some time. I grabbed my handheld mirror and we watched the penetration up-close. It turned me on that much more when he got very excited over the mirror and the look on his face was just of such appreciation – I’m sure the look on my face was much the same. We truly have some beautiful stuff going on down there!

By this point, I had had to stop myself from cumming multiple times. Any time his hands would reach down, I’d quickly grab them away because I just didn’t want to cum yet, it felt too soon. I rolled him onto his back and climbed on top. Have I ever told you how much I seriously love being on top with him. I’ve never had a guy respond the way he does. He gets so excited and he enjoys it so much and it’s just written all over every ounce of him. I was not going very fast and kept myself at a really steady pace as he shoved his face into my breasts, squeezing them together and just watching their every movement.

He reached down and grabbed on to my hips, “You gotta slow down or I’m going to cum”. I stopped moving. I went completely still but my vag was pulsing so hard, I couldn’t help it. He grabbed harder onto my hips, “I can’t wait anymore!” and he quickly thrust as he came hard. I stayed grinding on his cock, his pubic mound perfectly caressing my clit. Within moments, I was curling up into his chest, cumming hard and for what felt like a very long time. In the moment of orgasm, my body got really hot and I felt dizzy and breathless. I gripped onto him and held him until the very final moments of the orgasm.

After the sex, he fell almost immediately to sleep. I could not get close enough to him. I just wanted to be completely encompassed by him and I felt so deeply in love with him. It probably didn’t help that I had spent the night reading through old blog posts and reminiscing about our entire relationship, so I was already feeling more lovey-dovey towards him. The loving feeling had carried on to this morning, as I snuggled him more than I ever have before he’s had to go to work and could not stop telling him just how much I loved him. It was a wonderful night and I’m so glad that it finally happened. Too much longer of no sex and I probably would’ve been primed to pulverize something… Can I just say, I can’t wait to do that again!

This post is intended for adults 18+


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So Good We Napped


You know what sucks about running a blog for this long? There is a lot of stuff on it that’s sometimes hard to figure out how you want it to be organized and how you want it to look. Ah well… stuff happens!

The Boyfriend and I finally had sex last night. I had been really wanting it before we had our break-in. Actually, the night of the break-in, just before it happened, I was on top of The Boyfriend facing the TV and letting him rub me through my pants in the attempts of getting sex. Then of course, in the days following the break-in, we were both too nervous to actually have sex.

Finally, somehow our fears were put to rest and I got to orgasm a total of 3 times yesterday and we technically had sex twice!! Both times were absolutely beyond incredible and it marked a new one for both of us – having sex with a cast on. Surprisingly, it didn’t interrupt things as much as we were expecting, though a few times we both noticed it. He felt it more when he was on top and I felt it more when I was on top… Figure that one out 😉

After the kids had all fallen asleep last night, he snuggled up close behind me. I was wearing a very short skirt and he was easily able to caress my legs. I was shocked when he lifted the blanket, disappeared under it and began to lick my pussy from behind. He forcefully grabbed my ass and pushed my lips up to meet his. He really enjoyed eating me out in this position, I would even say more than any other position. At first, I felt awkward and uncomfortable, but then it just felt too good to care and soon I was cumming hard, which he happily cleaned up.

He swiftly penetrated me while I was still laying on my side and slowly we migrated to me laying on my back and him on top. I wrapped  my legs around him and not too sure how I did whatever I did next, but whatever it was it was amazing. Clenching the walls of my vagina around him until it felt like I had completely and literally encompassed him and then using my stomach muscles to pull myself off of him. All I know is that, from within my vagina, it felt incredible. It proved to feel incredible for him too, when he whispered to me, “You keep that up, I’m going to cum”. Needless to say, I didn’t stop… After he had cum, I stayed grinding on him until I came hard.

After we had a short nap (yes, we had a mini-nap the sex was so good!), we woke up and had something to eat before turning on the porn and doing it all over again. We had already agreed that I would be on top this time, so once the porn had been going for quite some time, I knelt down and laid hard kisses on his shaft. I only gave a few soft sucks before climbing on top of him and slowly letting him into my wetness. I wriggled this way and that until he was as deep as I could get him and we sat like that for a moment, just kissing and caressing one another.

I moved forward and slowly lifted my hips until he was almost completely out of me and then quickly slammed my hips down onto him. He bucked his hips beneath me and put his cast on my ass, the weight of it was most noticeable and actually kind of hot. I rocked back and forth on him and again he whispered, “You keep doing that and I’m going to cum”, so I kept “doing that” until he did cum. As he came, I quickly leaned back and began playing with my clit. I could feel his balls pulsing against my ass and as his cock began to go limp, my vagina felt incredibly full. It was only seconds before I was collapsing in an orgasm on top of him.

We turned off the porn, cuddled up close to one another and he was quickly fast asleep. I was awake for a little while longer, though that’s becoming a rather common occurrence. I woke up this morning and all I’ve been able to think about is oral sex…!

This post is intended for adults 18+


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He Should Be Sick More Often…


Even though I’m still getting over this stupid cold and even though The Boyfriend is in the worst part of the thick of it, our sex life has been out of this world. I think I’ve gotten more sex over the course of the last week than I have in years with him. And I could not tell you who provoked it a single time, I can only tell you that it happened and that it’s been absolutely amazing!!

From the nights we’ve recorded ourselves on cam, to the nights we’ve watched porn, to the mornings that he has woken with a raging hard on, there has been all sorts and a lot of sex going down. I’ve gotten oral sex a couple of times, I’ve gotten midday fingerings and I haven’t had to work very hard to get any of it.

Some extremely memorable moments:

  • The Candy Kisser

    After The Boyfriend had picked up gummy candies for himself, and after we had already been teasing each other for hours, I placed his favorite candies on each of my nipples, down my stomach and mound and placed the final candy on my clit. He sensually plucked the candies off my nipples before slowly moving down to my stomach and carefully licking the final candy off my clit. But he didn’t stop there…
  • A New Angle

    On our second night recording ourselves with the cam and on my second night in a row of being on top (which there have been a total of three in a row so far…), instead of recording ourselves in the usual position, we switched things up a bit. Our bed is currently in the living room (because I like it that way!) and the computer is at the wall opposite the foot-end of our bed. Usually, the camera angle is looking at us from behind our head (aka Our Asses). I decided I wanted to see what it looked like the other way…DEFINITELY BETTER!

    We haven’t tried with The Boyfriend on top yet, though I’m sure we’re only days away. The best part is being able to see all of my boobs, which we hadn’t been able to yet in any of our other videos and the fact that we figured out this really raw lighting that hides all of my “imperfections”. I’m currently working on editing the video to the point that The Boyfriend will at least let me put some of it online. I really just want to get the audio all by itself and take a listen sans imagery.

  • Daytime Proclivities

    It’s been mega years since The Boyfriend and I had any type of regular sexual interaction during the day. It hasn’t been since the days of him working graveyards and him living in his own house with roommates and long before I ever got pregnant. For the past few days, it’s almost become typical. If I’m not being woken up for it in the morning (has happened twice now), I get a chance at it sometime in the afternoon/early evening hours. And while it may not always be sex, someone always gets to orgasm.This morning, I woke up in a less than inspiring mood, but he had already been dealing with his morning wood for awhile. I didn’t take him seriously when he first mentioned going upstairs for a quickie, but when he asked again, I couldn’t possibly resist. I immediately took my position, trying hard not to catch a glimpse at my morning self in the mirror, as he hurriedly scrambled to get himself naked. It was quick and wonderful and his hands on my body in the morning have kept me in quite good spirits all day.

    And then there’s been the multiple days of midday fingering sessions that have left me feeling absolutely divine. First day, he had quite the intense headache. And while the whole thing originally started because I was stroking him, I stayed wet while he went limp. It didn’t take long before I was quietly cumming beneath his skilled hands. Or yesterday as we laid watching a movie and his hands just sort of ended up there and stayed there until again I was cumming hard and quietly. It’s been wonderful!

I really don’t know how long this will last but I am taking full-advantage of it while it’s here. Hopefully it’s a more permanent change, because I’m seriously enjoying the shit out of it. Though I’m noticing, the more I’m getting it, the more I’m wanting it. For now it’s a good thing, but when the activities decline, it’s really going to suck…

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Harder + Faster = Stronger


I am absolutely surprised that my arm doesn’t hurt more today after the wicked time The Boyfriend and I had last night. I had asked when he first got home if there was a chance I could get laid later on. His response was full of anticipation, as he quickly nodded, smiled and said, “I think we can do that!” and do that, we did.

We laid down and put on some porn. In the beginning scene of the video, the guy makes the girl call her Mom to tell her what he’s about to do to her and periodically throughout their session, he makes her call her Mom again. Even though we both agreed that calling Mom during that was a very big taboo (and one we weren’t about to even fantasize about), we just turned down the volume and imagined her calling a consenting person. That was much hotter!!

It seemed like the foreplay dragged on forever, even though in reality, it probably didn’t last that long. And he was in a very rough and controlling mood last night, which was so incredibly sexy. As I began playing with his cock and balls, he grabbed my hair and asked for harder. I tightened my grip and continued my normal gentle rubbing. He whispered, “Be a good girl and do it harder and faster!”. Chills crept down my spine and I shivered in delight.

Fast and hard is exactly how I did it and his reaction was probably the best I’ve ever seen. I’ve gone hard and fast before, but never to this reaction. His whole body was on fire and he was breathing harder than he ever does. He told me to roll away from him, so he could play with my slit. And no, not my slit slit, but the hole in my pants – as I was wearing tie up hospital pants. He gently undid the tie and slowly pulled them down revealing my hip as I laid on my side.

I was already incredibly wet. Between the good girl and the instructions and the hard masturbating warm-up, I was ready and raring to go. After a few quick penetrations with his finger, he slowly slid himself inside of me and now I felt on fire. He would reach up and grab my boob as it bounced furiously against his thrusting and then he would grab onto my hip and pull me back harder onto him. I was in ecstacy.

I moved to the ottoman, kneeling down beside it, my head and arms resting on it. At first, it was doggy, my ass high in the air and his one leg kneeling and the other sort of resting on my ass. He would thrust hard into me and then I would gently grind onto him. It was very playful and totally hot. Slowly, we seemed to let gravity take hold of our asses and he was eventually kneeling, sitting with his bum on his heels and I was more sitting on top of him, using the ottoman for support. He leaned forward and whispered to me again, “Are you going to be a good girl and cum on my cock?”.

Something about the way he says good girl and cock, just really drive me wild in that moment. I nodded and before I could adjust to get my hands down there, he was already making plans for after I had cum. “When you’re done, you’re going to lay down and jerk me off.” and I nodded again and quickly got my hands down to my clit. I was already so close to orgasm that it only took a few seconds before I was cumming hard on his cock.

Once I was done and had officially gotten a hold of myself, he pulled me down to the bed beside him and I asked, “Same as last time?”. He nodded and lit himself a smoke. I rubbed my hand around my still wet pussy to get him nice and lubricated. I gripped his cock harder than I ever had before and began frantically stroking him. His entire body pulsed with every pump of my fist and he looked down and said “Harder”. I did and he said, “You can do better than that”, sending a wave of excitement through me. At this point, it was as if the first orgasm had never even happened.

I grabbed onto my wrist with the other hand, and worked his cock harder and faster than I ever have before. I felt the muscles in my upper arm flinch with every movement and my wrist almost stung with the amount of force behind my grip. I kissed his chest and snuggled my head intimately into his neck. We kissed deeply and roughly and his fingers were going nuts in my hair. The better it felt, the faster his fingers would rub against my head and then he exclaimed, “I’m cumming”. I continued to stroke him hard and fast, as he shot cum all over himself and my arms.

By this point, I was far past ready to go again. I knew that if I didn’t get off right then and there, that I would be up half the night, tossing and turning as my pussy pulsed me to sleep and I was not okay with that. At first, he rubbed my body and grabbed my boobs, but I had really tuckered him out and by now, it was already really late. He fell asleep with one hand on my inner thigh and the other on my breast, his leg just gently on my one leg. Normally, I would stop and give up on my orgasm, but I was raging with wetness and couldn’t imagine stopping, so I just ignored the fact that he was sleeping and continued to masturbate.

It took forever, but eventually I did cum again. He woke up once I was done to share a smoke with me and didn’t believe me that I had cum a second time. Once we laid down to go to sleep though, it took me just mere seconds to fall asleep and I didn’t wake up once during the night. It was a truly blissful sleep. And while I’m definitely sore today, I’m not noticing any aching in my arms or wrists, which I was really expecting.

Has anyone else been trying new things out in the bedroom? Got any great vanilla ideas to spice things up?

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Good Girl/Bad Boy


Last night, even though it was basically the same as it always is, was a rather interesting sex session. I was surprised when he said that he was willing in the first place, because he had been complaining all day that he was exhausted and sore. So, being the nice girlfriend that I am, I grabbed the moisturizer and gave him a stellar massage – starting with his back and working my way down to his ass and his legs.

After the massage, he wanted to watch porn. At first, I was kind of upset by it, because if we started watching porn we’d be up half the night doing that before actualy getting down to anything. Luckily, he picked one that hardly held our interest for longer than 5 minutes and soon after we were jumping right into action.

I was much quieter last night than I have been in a really long time, so that was the first interesting change. No idea why I was quieter, but I was and it worked for me. The thing that was most interesting to me was that, on the scale of sexual encounters and their level of greatness, this one started out pretty badly. No rhythm, couldn’t get comfortable in our usual position without modifying it, a little bit awkward from the both of us in the beginning.

Sometimes, I really hate having the uncoordinated sex and other times, it just gets me more excited. Last night was definitely a more excited night. He’s really gotten into the concept of me cumming when he’s still having sex with me. I don’t think he can actually tell that I’m orgasming, but he insists on me “cumming on his cock”. It makes it a little trickier, especially when we’re in missionary, but it definitely feels really good when it happens.

Then, my absolute favorite and most memorable part of the night was when he said, “If you’re a good girl and cum on my cock, I’ll be a bad boy and cum in your pussy!”. It still just makes me shiver with extreme delight. First of all, I love it when he calls me a good girl or mentions me being a good girl during sex. I don’t know why this particular choosing of words gets to me as much as it does, but there is nothing he could say that can bring me closer to orgasm,than those two words. Secondly, that bad boy part…. mmmm!!!

Now that he’s gotten so into this “cumming on his cock” thing, I’ve had to get tricky with the way that I rub my clit during sex. I hate the feeling of my left hand, which pulls my clit nice and taut so my right hand can do it’s thing, against his stomach when he’s on top. I’m so worried that my bony knuckles will hurt him and then it becomes distracting from the pleasure I want to be feeling. So I have to figure out how to get my clit pulled back and stay there during his thrusting, while my right hand does it’s usual thing. He has gotten really good at backing off and letting me get set up and then thrusting mostly with his hips, so that he can keep right up against my clit. It still takes me longer than usual to orgasm though.

Within what seemed like just a few seconds after adjusting for me to play, I was cumming very hard and moments later, before I was even done my orgasm, he was cumming as well. I love the way he pulls me close to him while he’s orgasming and I love that he won’t move off of me until he’s sure we’re both done. We fell right to sleep as soon as we were done. He rolled his way and I cuddled into him nice and tight and he drifted right off to sleep.

I, however, was up for another two hours tossing and turning in bed, which seems to be becoming very common for me. Especially since it’s warmer and he throws heat like crazy in his sleep. Once I did fall asleep though, it was probably one of the deepest sleeps I’ve experienced in forever and being that he was an hour late for work this morning, it was probably a deep sleep for him too. I love when the sex that we have, tuckers us out enough that we have really great sleeps that night. It makes it that much more worth it!

I probably won’t get sex again for another 3 or 4 days – hard to say. He’s become really attentive to my need for sex and while I don’t get it all the time that I want it (because than I’d be getting it ALL THE TIME!), he’s definitely stepping up his game and giving it to me more often. I imagine though, the next session won’t be until his next days off. In the meantime, I’ll just keep reliving the good girl/bad boy part of the night 😉

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Bittersweet Relief


 

Last night was absolutely bittersweet. On one hand, the 3-hour-long sex session was out of this world! On the other hand, the tired discussion afterwards, sucked hardcore… And surprisingly, I wasn’t disappointed by it. I was, in that instant, relieved to finally know for sure. Today, I kind of have no feelings towards it. Probably a hardcore case of denial, also known as, watch for the pending doom…

So, the 3-hour-long sex session began after I watched a few movies on Netflix. The last one I watched was Public Sex, which is essentially about Dogging. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this movie to much of anyone, because I didn’t think it was that great. In every area that I thought it would be really great, and for every time that they built up to something great, it just kind of fell short. But I wasn’t expecting greatness going into it, so it wasn’t a surprise. The movie did little in the way of getting me turned on, but it definitely gave me a craving to watch porn.

Which almost seems like it’s now become “a part” of The Boyfriend and I’s sex routine. I don’t know if I can remember the last time we had sex without having porn on. And, it’s not normally him who initiates this at all. I mean, I guess a few of those times. But for the most part, I turn it on without even asking. Then, we go through and laugh at all the various funny titles and usually pick together the one’s we’d like to watch. Last night was a little bit different, because at first, I picked what I wanted to watch without letting him have a say and then I made him pick one without me having a say.

This time was also different, because I pointed out everything in every video that I really liked. Of course, during all of these videos, we’re not just watching. We’re playing or fucking or sucking, normally both of us holding off on cumming until the very end. I’m going to call that whole thing playing, the building up to orgasm. So normally, when we’re playing, he tends to not pay much attention to the porn. Every once and awhile we’ll both glance over for a moment, or we’ll watch it during one of our smoke breaks, but once we’re place the basic foreplay and have delved into playing, we’re normally pretty involved in what we’re doing. But last night, I asked him to stay watching the porn for some of my favorite things and things I’d really like to try, like squirting during double penetration and eating a girl out in front of him without him being allowed to touch. There wasn’t much said on his part, but it definitely didn’t put a damper on any sexual activity.

By the time he put his chosen porn on, it hardly got watched. We talked about the girls’ skirt and which one he’d prefer on me and which one I’d prefer on me, and then the porn hardly got paid attention to at all. I don’t know if this is a new interest of his or if he’s always had an interest in girl-on-girl strap-on sex, but he’s showing off that interest a lot more recently. I’ve never really been into girl-on-girl strap-on sex, though I’ve never hated it either. I wouldn’t pick it out of a group of videos, but I wouldn’t turn it off if it was put on, if that makes sense.

Moments later, we were cuddling, coming down from equally amazing and surprisingly sudden orgasms that neither of us thought were going to happen when they did. Of course, this was the first thing we discussed during our post-sex discussion ritual. Then, we recounted our favorite moments and the things to include in future sessions, like we always do. And then, as I was caressing his finger tips and forearms, I told him that I had something to ask him, but didn’t want him to take it the wrong way.

You could feel his entire body tense, dreading the question to come. Before I thought more about asking the question, dreading the answer that may follow, I quickly dived and gently thread the words together, “Do you think there is ever a chance that we will be on the same page sexually?”. I’m not even sure that he hesitated before answering, “No, but I’m worried about saying that.”

At first, I felt this extreme disappointment wash over me and it was hastily followed with this sudden relief, because at least now I know. I know that all my dreaming, while with him, is pointless. It’s a relief because I can now stop thinking that there might be a chance that one day in the future he may spank me. And when I asked why he was worried, his response was, “Because, I’m worried you’ll say ‘Then, what’s the point!’ and I don’t want that.” and I said that I don’t want that either. Because I don’t.

I’ve always said that I don’t want to break things off with him over a sexual thing like this, when I know there are ways for us to get around this. For both of us, to some degree, get what we want and be happy. If some other area of our relationship were bad, then it’d be different and my thoughts would be something other than what they are. But it’s not like that for us. Every area of our relationship is really great, that ruining it just because he can’t fulfill my kinks, makes absolutely no sense. The vanilla sex is really good, the communication between us is good, the feelings we have for each other are strong and real and important. I can’t see tossing all that away to just have a chance at getting into a kinky relationship, that may or may not be as fulfilling and satisfying as this relationship.

I wanted to talk more. I wanted to ask more questions and be the eager beaver that I normally am when it comes to these things. But instead, I stepped back from the experience that I was in and am now beginning to think about how I plan to progress from here. And honestly, that part worries me the most. What am I going to do with this information? Today, I feel like I could care less about it. I’m writing this post because I feel it’s necessary, not because I’m actually actively thinking about the situation. I seem to be rather unbiased about it right now and I’m convinced that’s my version of denial.

I foresee my future emotions, over the next coming days and weeks. I see bitterness, sadness, acceptance, anger, obsession, complacency, hope, maybe even humor. I foresee many more attempts at many more unsuccessful and discouraging conversations. I foresee some irrationality on my part and some stress on his. I foresee an inconsistent wave of blog posts coming up when I really start thinking about the conversation and I see me spending more time than I’d like, thinking about this…

For now, I’m going to focus on today…