The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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Musing


I so desperately want to upload videos to my YouTube channel, like terribly badly, but I seriously suck at this piano thing. Every single time I play, in the moment, I’m like “Oh yeah, this is my jam!” and then I listen back to it and it just sounds like utter crap!!

I sat in front of my computer for the last 2 1/2 hours, rocking out with my Casio. And I sucked…

I want to put something on  YouTube for everyone and I just can’t bring myself to let anyone witness this crap. I even have a slight issue with The Boyfriend listening again, since I made him suffer the first time around…

And man oh man, how does he do it?!? I would be so annoyed by listening to all these songs slowed down and butchered and just tortured and beaten black and blue. I miss my freaking guitar!!!!!

See, the issue is that I’m too old to learn this stuff by myself now. And while I know that that’s a lie, if I really dedicated myself to it I could learn this freaking instrument, I just can’t bring myself to get any better. I’ve been practicing every once and awhile and every time I think I’m starting to get the hang of something, it just slaps me in the face every time I watch these videos.

I figured it wouldn’t sting so much if I waited a longer period in between when I played and when I watched the video, and it doesn’t. Simply, for an absolute matter of fact, I am just better with wind instruments like the bassoon and stringed instruments like the guitar and I’m pissed that I don’t have either of those things…

I miss my guitar…

P.S. If you didn’t know, the title to this post, “Musing” is an homage to my most beloved guitar, she was a beauty and the story behind her is a little romantic. You wanna hear it?

Okay, for those of you who stuck around.

The Boyfriend and I had been dating a few months when my birthday rolled around. He insisted that I get a babysitter on the day and told me we were going for a ride. He begins driving through the industrial area of town and I’m getting more and more confused as to where we’re going and why we’re in this part of town. He pulls up to a building and all I see is a sign about something to do with audio, that’s it.

As he pulls open the door, I am greeted by a wall of guitars. Electrics, acoustics, steel and my jaw drops. He puts his hand on my neck (like we did when we were out in public back then) and tells me, “Pick one” – total Cinderella moment. We spent hours there, me trying to find the perfect sound, him trying to act interested. When I picked up my Muse, I knew she was the one.

I can’t even remember what kind of guitar it was, except that it was an electric/acoustic. But she was beautiful and as soon as I got her home, I was writing songs. I wrote a good deal of songs on my Muse – of course, none of which I can remember. And then…

I did not take good enough care of her. If I knew then what I knew now, I would’ve created an untouchable shrine for her. Alas, I left her where the kids could touch her and slowly over time, she broke. It took me years to finally throw her in the garbage and I’m sure I cried the day that I did…

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This post is intended for adults 18+


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Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous News


Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous

It’s been awhile since I wrote a post about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, the free social networking community for adult, lifestyle and sex bloggers that I run. When in reality, it’s all I’ve been working on lately, so it’s a surprise that I haven’t written anything here. I told some people at work about it and they laughed and said it’s hilarious. I took it pretty hard the first time, but now I just kind of laugh along. It’s hard to believe that I spend as much time on this thing as I do sometimes…. So, there’s been quite a bit new over there, let’s jump to it.

Newly Added Features

Recently, Spruz, the platform that Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is hosted on, underwent a pretty major update which included the ability to add the discussions and events features to the groups feature. So, we’ve made it so that every group can now host events and instead of using the old Topics, they can use the new Discussions – so far it’s working out really nicely.

We’ve also added the Blog Directory, though it’s really more of a link directory. You can post links to all your favorite blogs and websites and other users can comment on them, rate them and more! You can even check out what we’ve got added so far and comment and rate our links!

New on the Blog

I’ve been trying to write as much as physically possible on the blog lately. It’s a lot harder than you would think it is, but this is some of what’s new right now!

“When I created my personal sex bucket list on my blog The Rantings of a Tortured Mind about a year or so ago, I thought that kink was going to be possible. The Boyfriend was showing a lot of interest, it was all looking like that was the way it was going.

Now, a year later, it’s been about that long since I’ve had any kink in my life. The interest on his part has completely left and now I am definitely not getting my kink on! Needless to say, my bucket list has evolved with this same thing. Even though I’d still like to do those things one day, I’d like to keep it realistic enough that it’s not depressing.”

[READ MORE…]

Download our special report detailing 10 totally different ways to generate blog post ideas for your adult blog! These 10 activities are sure to get your creative juices flowing and help you come up with some of your greatest posts ever!”

[READ MORE…]

“Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous has been on Facebook for some time now. We’ve been rather slowly wading in the Facebook waters, especially as there have been some issues reported about “questionable content” on Facebook. But recently, we liked a bunch of a pages and our Facebook page has really picked up. So, here’s the 4 reasons you should become a Facebook fan!”

[READ MORE…]

Forum Discussions of Interest

The forums have kind of slowed down as we experiment with the new Discussions featured. Spruz has mentioned that one day the forums may go bye-bye, and we’ll have to use the Discussions feature, so we’re preparing. But until that happens, the forums will still be around, so here’s some of the best conversations happening now:

Groups of Greatness

Spruz Owner's Group on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Spruz Owner’s Group

If you run a social network on the Spruz platform, join this group for tips, tricks, advice and more!

Not Getting My Kink On... Group on Lifestyle Bloggers AnonymousNot Getting My Kink On…

The trials and tribulations of being a kinkster in a vanilla relationship.

Awesome Video

While there’s been a lot of really great videos added to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous and you can always see more by checking us out on YouTube, here’s our most favorite right now. Laci Green of Sex+ gives us an education in vagina’s in 90 seconds!!

New Blog Launched

That’s right!! It’s been a long time coming, but we’ve finally launched our Tumblr blog, featuring the best sex, kink and blogging-related randomness from around the world wide web. We’re even giving you the ability to submit your own favorites and ask us questions about the above topics.

You’ll get pictures, quotes, videos and tons of links to our favorite stuff everywhere!! So be sure to stay tuned for updates and if you’re on Tumblr, be sure to follow us! Visit Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous on Tumblr Today!

Now What…

So now, I’d like to invite you to head on over to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. If you’re a member, check out all the stuff that’s been added to the site and if you’re not a member, become one absolutely FREE today! Leave your comments here and let me know what you think about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Thanks for reading!


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My Day Zero Project – Someday: Take a Belly Dancing Class


I’ve always been a little obsessed with belly dance. It’s such a highly sensual form of dancing. I go through bursts with my obsession with belly dance. There was a while there, where all I was doing was watching belly dancing videos and researching it. I even started doing what I called Bathroom Belly Dance.

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July 7, 2011 Central Alberta Storm (There’s Videos!!)


I’m hating the weather this summer so far. Have I ever told you how much I despise storms? My greatest fear in life is that I’ll be taken out by a natural disaster. It used to be lightening, then it changed to an unexplained fire, and now it is 100% a tornado.


Near Penhold, Alberta

On Thursday, we had a wicked storm and it was the first time I’ve ever been a part of a city that had a tornado warning that advised you to “take shelter immediately”. The worst part about the entire thing was that The Boyfriend had walked to the store…

So as we normally do when there’s a storm, we go out on the balcony and check out the rain, the lightening, the thunder and really I’m checking to see if I think it looks rough enough to be down in my bathroom! I walk outside and it’s still pretty light out, but I see a father and his daughter underneath of an umbrella. Then I see the Dad point to the sky and then they ran back into the house. Automatically I thought, shit a tornado is coming and I don’t know if The Boyfriend is going to be safe.

Clouds began billowing up into the sky at a speed that I’ve never seen before. The only thing at all that brought me comfort is that there was a plane following the storm and passing through the absolutely wicked clouds. It’s interesting to me how many people, when every information source is telling you to take shelter, will go outside. The street filled with people as my neighbor tells me a tornado has just touched down outside of Innisfail.


Near Penhold, Alberta

Then it starts hailing wickedly. Of course when I first learned of all the tornado warnings, I automatically read up on the internet about disaster preparedness. I knew what to do if there was a tornado, but I wanted some reassurance that I absolutely knew, just in case! Rain is usually not present during a tornado, but hail is. So that set off even more panic as I paced frantically in the living room wondering if I should wake all the kids up to go hide in the bathroom while we waited for The Boyfriend to get back.

By the time The Boyfriend got back, the hail had stopped and the sky behind our house turned a brilliant blue with light fluffy clouds. All I have to say is thank goodness for The Weather Network and @AB_EmergAlert. Because if I wouldn’t of been able to check those two things every few minutes, I’m sure a panic attack would’ve hit.


Near Sundre and Olds, Alberta

So far, no injuries have been reported even though a total of 4 (last I heard) tornadoes touched down in Central Alberta. No idea how many funnel clouds there were, I know of 2 in Red Deer alone. Though I don’t even want to know how many people, who all feel the same way about tornadoes as I do, are still worrying about it.

The last two nights has been pretty windy at night. It seems to be pretty calm during the day, just some cloudy skies. Then we get to night and the wind picks up. Falling asleep has been pretty darn hard, because being defenseless worries me. At least during the day, you can see the storm a-brewing. At night, not so much.

I hope, for my sake and for the others who are scared of storms, that this is the last bad storm of the year. I know it probably won’t happen, but I definitely don’t like when it happens and even more so, I hope that if it does happen, The Boyfriend is at least at home when it does. I also hope that this crappy weather goes away soon, so that I can get a really good nights sleep…

What natural disaster scares you the most? Or are you one of the lucky soles who isn’t really afraid of it? Have you ever witnessed a tornado or other disaster? Let’s talk storms people!


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You’re Gonna Miss Me…


So, I finally got around to reading my Google Reader, which I hadn’t done in a few days. I’ve got to stop waiting so long for two reasons. One because then they pile up like crazy. Today, I had 498 unread items waiting for me and only got through 200 of them before my internet froze up. Second, because I miss some really great things!

Mashable, one of the many blogs I follow, posted a really great video that I’d love to share with you, because not only do I love that the girl is using a plastic cup as her drum, this girl has a truly amazing voice. And just below that you can hear the original of the song.

I just seriously think this song is so pretty. I’m really glad that I got to hear it. Now here is the actual version by Lulu and the Lampshades.

Which version do you like better? I personally prefer the cover more than the original, mainly because you can hear the lyrics better and the cup is done more cleanly. It’s just a really pretty song. Super thumbs up to Lulu and the Lampshades!


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For Those Who Don’t Know: Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous


As some of you may know, I not only write this blog, but I also write a blog full of my favorite randomness and I am the Administrator of a social network. Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is a free online social networking community for adult, lifestyle and sex bloggers (yes, I count myself in that category…).

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous offers a variety of features all aimed to help you connect with other adult bloggers. Even if you aren’t interested in actually starting your own adult blog, you’ll be able to discover new blogs to read, get great blogging tips and tricks, and be able to connect with your favorite bloggers.

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is 100% FREE and will never cost you a cent, unless you choose to donate to the site. All donations go straight back into the site and you get to choose the amount to donate.

In this post, I’m going to outline some of the features of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous as well as highlight some of my favorite groups, discussions and blog posts. Please feel free to browse around the site and definitely don’t hestitate to become a member today!

The LBA Blog

As a non-member you can read the blog. Once you become a member, you unlock the ability to begin writing your very own blog entires on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous.

Our blog has an integrated comment system and the ability to share posts via Twitter and Facebook. Easily post to the blog with a Rich Text Editor, or if you’re feeling a little adventurous switch over to HTML mode*. Currently, we offer a total of 10 categories which include:

Recently, I’ve written a few different posts on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. They include two erotic fantasies, Caged Cuckold and One Chore: The Dishes. I also highlighted my posts on sexual bucket lists, An Intro to Sexual Bucket Lists and 100+ Sexual Bucket List Ideas and my personal favorite 6 Crazy Sex Laws – Past & Present.

If you have any other blog category ideas, please stop by the Suggestion Box and let your voice be heard! To begin writing  your own blog on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, become a member today!

The LBA Forums

If you’re looking to have discussions on just about any topic with just about anyone, the forums are the place to go. Non-members have limited access to the forums and can only see the General Discussions forum. Members, however, are given access to all the forums which includes For The Bloggers, Sexuality & You and BDSM & Fetishes (again, suggestions are greatly appreciated!). Each of these forum categories have a variety of sub-categories and even more topics within. Here are some of the best discussions right now:

Of course, this is just some of my personal favorites from Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. There are many more discussions happening and many more waiting to be had. So what are you waiting for? Become a member today to start participating in lively discussions on blogging, sexuality, BDSM and fetishes!

The LBA Groups

If you’ve ever wanted to connect with like-minded adult bloggers, groups are definitely the way to go! Groups are a great way to gather individuals on a niche topic. First and foremost, I strongly suggest that any member of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous joins our official group. All the latest site updates and announcements are posted there. As a non-member, you can see what we have to offer for groups, but as a member not only can you join groups that have already been created, you can also start your very own niche group.

Currently, these are the groups that you can find on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous:

Kinky in CanadaKinky in Canada

Canadian kinksters come together in this group. Whether your from the East or the West, you can connect with other Canadians. If you’re from Alberta, like me, then check out the Alberta Connect topics to meet other Albertan.

The Big "O"The Big “O”

Lovers of orgasms unite in this group where we’re sharing orgasm tips, facts and experiences.

FetLifersFetLifers

If you’re a member of the best social networking site for kinksters, by kinksters, then join this group and connect with other FetLifers.

Erotic WritersErotic Writers

If you write erotic poems, stories or songs, join this group to mingle with other erotic writers. Get inspired, get motivated, get writing!

For Women OnlyFor Women Only

Of course I made this group!! NO BOYS ALLOWED!  Women, let’s get together and have a chat, okay? Let’s talk about all the things us girls talk about, okay? If you’re into that, then join this group!

I’m always looking for suggestions for new groups, so if you’ve got any that you think would be a great addition, either become a member of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous and create them yourself, or leave a comment to this post and I’ll see what I can do!

Some of the other features we offer include photos, videos and a chat room. You can upload your own photos to the site if you’re a member, though please be sure to read the Community Guidelines first! You can also share videos from popular video sharing sites such as YouTube and Vimeo. Again, we’re always open to suggestion but so far the video categories include:

Here’s one of my favorite videos on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. It’s from a Canadian group called The Wet Spots, who I’ve become more and more obsessed with. Be sure to check out the bottom of this post for another awesome video!

At the moment, the chat room is usually pretty dead. Although, you can make it so you can chat to your Facebook friends without ever leaving Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. That all being said, there are plans in the works to start doing scheduled chats a few nights a week. There is even a discussion going on in the Suggestion Box about it.

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is also elsewhere around the web. Firstly, we’re on Facebook! “Like” our fan page to get site updates, participate in all sorts of conversations and get the chance to see exclusive content. You can also follow me, @blogaholica, on Twitter to get LBA updates.

So, if you didn’t know about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, you do now! To summarize, it’s a free online social networking community for lifestyle, adult and sex bloggers and I would love it if you would check it out and if you feel compelled, become a member today! If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hestitate to leave your comments below or contact me. Thanks for checking it out!

And here’s the other video I promised, the first episode of The Adventures of Penis and Vagina. A comedic look at the discovery of anal sex!

Conversation Starters

  • Would you become a member of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous? Why or why not?
  • Do you consider yourself an adult, lifestyle or sex blogger?
  • What did you think of The Wet Spots? Did you look at more of their videos on YouTube?
This post is intended for adults 18+


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From the Vault: Favorites from my First Year


The Rantings of a Tortured Mind has kind of always been evolving and changing. My vision for what I want this blog to be seems to constantly be changing as well. At first, I wanted to keep it strictly PG and about the kids, but that didn’t last long since I never felt like I had much to add. Then I wanted it to be about my life in general, but then I realized that I have a pretty boring life.

I’ve basically decided to drop the vision and just let this blog be the way it will be. I’m trying harder everyday to not think that seriously about it, being that this blog is supposed to be for me to express myself. I’ll have visions for my other blogs.

My first post was on August 21, 2010. Wouldn’t you know, it was a quote. In the beginning, I had these scheduled to go off everyday. Then I got out of it, but have since brought it back on my Tumblr blog, Valerie Rayne’s Randomness.

My first post about me and my interest in BDSM was The Test Boy and Me. My first technically, play party, though I’m sure that’s not what most play parties are like. It was just me, The Boyfriend and two other people. But it was incredible.

On August 29, 2010, I recorded the first, and so far only *knocks on wood*, fight The Boyfriend and I have ever gotten into. September 2010 was a busy months with the most posts so far at 24. Some of my favorite posts from that month include:

In Wrote This While Offline, you can get an idea of what I want in a BDSM relationship and of course there’s my Sexual Pity Party. One of my favorite posts about sexuality is Finally Vulnerable!
Also, of course, are my music videos. First is my cover of Radiohead’s “Creep” and my version of Amazing Grace. You can also check out newer videos by heading over to my YouTube channel.
So there’s a highlight of my 12 favorite posts from my first year of blogging. What do you think? What is your favorite post from The Vault?