The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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Happy Birthday Boyfriend (with Pictures)


Yet another year has gone by and it’s that time of year again when for a short period of time, The Boyfriend and I will the same age! It’s always an exciting time of the year for me, because I don’t feel like the oldest one in the relationship (even though I know that I always will be, I don’t feel it so much).

Generally, we don’t do much for anyone’s birthday around here. For his this year, it somehow managed to be quite a special day. We had tried to talk the kids into sleeping in or at least letting us sleep in, but that didn’t really go as planned. Although it was quite a bit easier than we had expected to wake up this morning. First order of business was to get some coffee in us and even though it was bitterly cold and snow was blowing all over the place, the birthday boy braved the weather and brought us home the first coffees of the day.

He let me play Minecraft for a bit – I’ve got two different files going right now. One is my “creative mode” one and I’ve got a freaking wicked train station, with a functioning train and it took tons of math for me to figure out how to make this world. First time in years that I’ve used division… The other is a “survival mode” one that I keep re-starting over and over again called ValerieVille. While I was playing Minecraft, he was playing Star Trek Online where he is now a Rear Admiral Lower Half – which just sounds so unlike him that it’s bordering on ironic.

Then, I made the world’s most awesome breakfast brunch ever. I had seen a picture on Pinterest a couple weeks back that inspired the meal today, which made me much more enthusiastic than I had expected. The first time ever that I’d seen something on Pinterest and then actually made it… So, without reading any instructions, I set out to make Bacon Bowls with some Scrambled Eggs and Buttered Toast.

All in all, it was a great brunch that filled us all right up and we all wanted more. Definitely adding Bacon Bowls to more of our meals – because seriously, who doesn’t love bacon and who doesn’t love bowls? They are both very awesome things! I mean, one of them holds things in a circular type fashion, a sort of dome for delicious foods to be gathered in – gathered! And then of course, the other one is bacon and really, I don’t need to explain that one to you… Do I?

After brunch, we switched electronics and he’s spent the majority of his birthday doing his most favorite thing in the world… Gaming.

The kids were in a picture-happy mood, and Miss Kaeidyn wants to show you all the great pictures she took, so check out the public Facebook album “Boyfriend’s Birthday 2013” to see more of our amazing day! She also made a video that’ll show you just what type of nerds I’m living with here… Although, there’s me in the background, blogging away – so, maybe I shouldn’t talk so much šŸ˜‰

Now, the kids are quietly going off to bed, an hour later than they were supposed to for a school night and I’m finishing up this blog post before hopefully going for a nice hot bath. I’ve been spending the last few days working on a special little project (little being the biggest understatement of my year thus far), so I’ve been on the computer a lot more than my body likes – but it’s a project that I’m quite excited about.

I hope you enjoyed being invited in for The Boyfriend’s nerdy birthday party and be sure to like this post and leave any thoughts you may have below!

This post is intended for adults 18+


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If I Could Have Anything for My Birthday…


I’m officially another year older – have been for about an hour now… I only know this, because everyone has been reminding me of it and constantly mentioning it. I would be just as happy forgetting altogether about my aging another year. I feel it, I don’t need to see it in a number. It was also the midnight release of the new Call of Duty game, which The Boyfriend had pre-ordered, so had been counting down to this day for weeks.

I hadn’t really considered that I wanted anything for my birthday until tonight. As an old kinky friend of mine messaged me a birthday greeting card, I suddenly flashed back to the days of munches and spankings. And it seriously floored me, my jaw instantly dropped, when the thought of a birthday spanking jumped into my mind. I have been fantasizing about spankings for so many days leading up to today, that I can’t believe it took a birthday e-greeting to put the thought of making a birthday wish for a spanking into my head!

For probably the last three days, I have been thinking non-stop about spankings. I’ve been reading a lot about spanking, The Boyfriend and I have been watching a lot of porn with spanking in it. And when I got that e-greeting, I just automatically jumped in to thinking about how I want my birthday spanking to go down. Ideally, to start out with, I wouldn’t have to ask for it.

I would love for him to sit down at the end of the bed and pull me down over his lap. I would love for him to be gentle with me at first, caressing my skin and gently tugging at my hair. The first few slaps would be just hard enough for me to feel them and he would be hard beneath me. He’d slap my ass a few times, and then he would rub his rough hands over my flesh and I would tremble beneath him.

He’d begin to work up to harder slaps, warming me up with his firm hands. He would stop every so often to rub my ass, or trace the length of my leg. He would reach his hand up into my hair and yank my head back, before laying down a succession of blows as I squirmed frantically beneath him. He would continue until my ass felt hot to the touch and was reddened quite nicely. Once my rear was to his liking, he’d slide his fingers into me and direct me to the floor. He’d instruct me to get into a position that would allow me to suck his cock while he smacked my ass.

He’d shove his cock deep into my mouth as he reached over to slap my flesh and I’d moan as best as I could. He’d reach his hand into my hair, grabbing as much of it as he could and he would pull me up to meet his lips before shoving me back down to his swollen member. Using my hair as a handle, he’d force me this way and that, until his cock was throbbing and pulsing. He’d pull me up until I was standing, turn me to face away from him and instruct me to bend over.

He’d slap my ass and remark about my glistening cunt and how naughty of a girl I am. He’d slide a finger across my wetness before diving in with his tongue to taste every sweet drop. He’d slap my pussy hard enough to make me flinch before swiftly penetrating me with his ample girth. I’d shriek as he pulled back and slammed into me again, before a hard hand landed on my bottom. As he thrust faster and faster, the slaps would fall harder and he would roughly grip at my flesh before raising his hand. My whole body would be twisting and turning and squirming.

He would pull out and cum all over the redness, instantly warming and cooling the burning, before nestling his face back between my legs and working me until I was cumming so hard it was dripping all over the floor. It would be divineĀ ecstasy!! I would collapse onto him and he would gently caress my rear end and whisper all sorts of wonderful things to me – how much he loves me, how good I did, how proud of me he was, how much fun he had and I would be in total bliss.

That’s what I would have if I could have anything… But, since I can’t, I’ll just fantasize about it. At least I can demand an orgasm sans spanking…