I’ve learnt a lesson over the last few months, and that is to not complain about your sex life. If it’s not what you want it to be, you need to do something to change it. I’ve also learnt that patience is of great importance, because things and situations change.
Tonight, I feel like complaining a little bit though. Not even really complaining, so much as talking about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately. Okay, maybe two things that have been on my mind.
First, I want a girlfriend!!! I’ve been saying for so many years now that I’m bi-curious. I’ve been attracted to women for as long as I can remember. My first girl crush was Lori Petty from Tank Girl, and since then I’ve had many girl crushes – even girls who weren’t celebrities.
I’ve always found women to be very attractive. Often when I masturbate, if I’m visualizing anything, it’s a woman. Awhile back, I had come to terms with the fact that it was never going to happen. I can’t stand sharing at all. And with my rather low self-esteem, the worst thing I could do is allow The Boyfriend to be a part of my relationship with a girl. If he saw her naked, I would probably snap!
But I’ve seriously been considering talking to him about the whole thing. The other thing that’s been on my mind kind of plays into it too. Not only do I want a girlfriend, but I want my own submissive. I want a girl submissive. That way there isn’t that jealousy where having a male submissive is concerned.
And since any sort of kink, outside of handcuffs, has been completely eradicated from our sex life, I want some kind of outlet. It would be especially perfect because I could still be submissive with The Boyfriend, but finally release my built-up Dominant tendencies. I’ve kind of become very complacent where adding kink in our sex life is concerned.
For awhile there, I was trying to almost force it on The Boyfriend. But lately, his interest level has dropped dramatically and it almost never gets mentioned. When I do say something about it, there is almost no reaction from him whatsoever. So I’ve just kind of left it alone. I mention it every once and awhile but for the most part, I’m moving on.
How do you bring this kind of thing up? He’s been in relationships in the past where the girlfriend let another girl get in the way. I just really want to experiment with this and I don’t plan on breaking up with him anytime in the future, so how do I go about getting what I want without hurting him? And how do you keep the girlfriend separate from The Boyfriend? I don’t even know how it would work at all… Just my thoughts for the night.