The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

This post is intended for adults 18+


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What I’ve Been Looking At…


Last night, I decided to do a search for an adult-type comic strip and was pretty happy to find a few. The one that I’m obsessed with right now is Collar 6, a self-described BDSM soap opera. It all starts with a feud between two mistresses, Butterfly and Sixx:

Then the two woman challenge each other to a not-so-friendly BDSM challenge:

Mistress Sixx begins training her new personal slave Laura for the big event:

And we even get a very important lesson on safewords:

I’m still reading through this one, and I’ll be keeping you posted on what I find on the Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Tumblr Blog. If you know of any great adult comic strips (not hentai or porn comics, but ones similar to Collar 6), I’d love to hear about them. And if you like Collar 6, let me know about that too and let’s discuss our favorite episodes!!

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Mission Impossible: The Neverending Housecleaning Story


This is seriously so ridiculous, but I cannot get or keep this house clean no matter how hard I try. We spent almost two hours getting the kitchen back to presentable yesterday, and today – the only reason you can tell is because the floor has been swept, that’s it. Then we were planning on getting a bunch of other cleaning done today, and it’s almost 6:00 PM and we have not done a single thing…

It’s such a downer when you clean an area of the house just to see it thrashed again a few hours later, it makes you not want to clean anything. But then you don’t clean anything and your house ends up looking the way mine does right now. I’m always shocked at how upset it makes me feel and then when I think about it, it’s like “Duh!”.

In other news…

Kaeidyn had two birthday parties to go to this weekend. The first was at a salon for kids here in town and she got her hair all curled up, make-up done and nails done. She came home smelling so much like a girl! And then she had another party yesterday at the girl’s next door. She had a load of fun and came home with tons of stories to tell.

Carter has been getting into literally everything, another reason why it’s so hard to keep the house clean. He’s figured out how to open the fridge, and how to dump over the toy box and turn on the taps. He seems to almost never tire, and yet The Boyfriend and I are tired all the time.

The older boys have been incredibly obsessed with video games these days, which results in days filled with “I want to play a game!” and “Can I play a game now?”. Saying no as often as we are is sure getting repetitive and exhausting. It doesn’t help that The Boyfriend is home on holidays for a couple more days, so whenever he plays games, it’s all we hear about from the boys.

I’ve been spending most of my spare time working on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous-related stuff since The Boyfriend and I have agreed that we are most definitely upgrading the website in the next coming months, especially being that he has some larger checks coming his way from work since he worked so much overtime this past little while. Now if I could only start blogging more often – though lately I’ve been hating my writing…

Coming up this week is a stressful week at work, tons more of the neverending housecleaning story (and I’m hoping we’ll make some serious progress in the next two or three days!) and hopefully we’ll be calling a plumber to fix our toilet already – it’s been months now! Other than that, it should be a relatively quiet one, I hope! How’s your upcoming week looking?


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I Want a Dog and I Want It Now!


So, don’t ask me how I got started on this MAJOR learning experience that I’m traveling on tonight, but somehow it got brought up what kind of dog I would like to have. I’ve always had a bit of a fondness for smaller dogs for a variety of reasons, but mostly because they are the best kind of dog to have on you lap when you’re always at the computer!

Also, I have always liked their stature. The fact that they they are these small dogs, but they stand like they’re just as big as any of the other dogs in the yard. It’s a very sexy quality in a dog. So, I put in Jack Russell Terrier on Wikipedia and now I’ve spent the last 2 hours doing nothing but reading about dogs…

And I want one! I want one really bad!!

The Boyfriend and I have decided we really badly want a Rat Terrier. I’m a sucker for a cute puppy and when I saw the picture of the little Rat Terrier and then read about it’s temperment, I knew that was the dog for us. Good with kids, easy to train, sensitive – sounds like a good fit for us. This however, lead me on a search for Dog on Wikipedia. Well let me tell you this, my mind is officially BLOWN!

Read this and tell me your mind is not at least partially blown:

The English word dog comes from Middle Englishdogge, from Old Englishdocga, a “powerful dog breed”.[13] The term may derive from Proto-Germanic*dukkōn, represented in Old English finger-docce (“finger-muscle”).[14] The word also shows the familiar petname diminutive-ga also seen in frogga “frog”, picga“pig”, stagga “stag”, wicga “beetle, worm”, among others.[15] Due to the archaic structure of the word, the term dog may ultimately derive from the earliest layer of Proto-Indo-European vocabulary, reflecting the role of the dog as the earliest domesticated animal.[16]

My mind…. BLOWN!!!

But back to the dog… 😉 Here’s three really cute pictures of Rat Terriers for your viewing pleasure:

Lucy, A Rat Terrier

Tell me this is not the cutest picture of a dog you’ve ever seen! She looks so tiny and fragile and yet so bold and confident. Something very striking about this puppy!

Five Week Old Rat Terrier

Just a mere five weeks old and this little guy is making a pretty bold statement. I love the little head and the little ears. Awww, it’s so cute!!!

Photo taken of Rat Terrier, “Shorty,” demonstrating upright ears.

I love this picture. Looks like such a happy dog, and an alert one too. I think I want a Rat Terrier…

Okay, so there you’ve had it. I’m unfortunately a girl who says cute, but hell, can you blame me? Those were some of the cutest pictures I’ve seen that weren’t of my own kids (and trust me, I have really cute kids!). Too bad I currently live in a place where I’m not allowed pets, and not sure if I could manage a pet at this point in my life, but I can definitely add it to a “maybe one day I’ll do this” list.

One day…


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Wishing for Writer’s Block


As a writer, do you ever have those days where you know your writing is just plain off? It’s not bad per se, but it’s not good either. You hate every single word that you put down, and you feel like nothing you write is flowing properly. If you were to look back on it in a few days, you wouldn’t even recongize it as your own writing!

Today is being one of those days for me. And it’s always such a huge emotional undertaking for me. It’s never as simple as “Geesh, my writing isn’t that great today…”, it’s more dramatic than that. It’s the frustration of it. At least with writer’s block, you know that it’s writer’s block and eventually it will break, you just have to be patient. But when it’s this, whatever this is, your mind is swelling with ideas, but you just can’t get any of them out in a sensible way.

My mind… Full of post ideas! I have tons of them right now. But the second I start writing about any of these ideas, I just get all pissy about how much I’m not liking my writing. I don’t like that it’s taking me forever to get to a point and I hate when it feels like I’m not saying anything you couldn’t read elsewhere. I find everything to be very rambly or that I come off totally way bitchier than I actually am.

I’d rather be frustrated because I can’t come up with anything, instead of frustrated that I can’t write about what’s on my brain without over-critisizing. More issues of your average writer…


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Tips From My Readers


Over the last few months here on the blog, as I’ve complained more and more, my readers have become very involved in suggestions for how to improve the things that bother me. There have been some crazy great tips for me and my situation and today I’d like to shed some light on some of my reader’s greatest tips. I would really like to give a huge thank  you to all of you! You brighten my day just by commenting and your words have gotten me through challenging times. This is my virtual hug 😉

When I posted Long Time, No Sing back in January, I was quite pleased to receive a comment from a woman who has become a regular commenter on the blog. She’s posted some really helpful tips as I vented about all my sexual frustrations. Here are some of my favorites:

In response to my post Don’t Get Me Wrong, where I discussed my desire to have a female sexual partner, she talked a little about her relationship and then left these words of wisdom, which I still haven’t actually done, but I think that it would be much more likely to happen in my situation:

“My advice is maybe trying to find another female in a similar situation to you. Someone who’s in there own relationship but want’s to also explore the same things you desire. Your boyfriend may feel less threatened if the other girl you’re with has another primary relationship of her own.”

In response to my post Punished… where I expressed a strong desire to be punished for something, but was worried that I had “made my vanilla bed”, Jess gave this suggestion:

“Have you thought of initiating a little D/s. After the kids are in bed, slip into something sexy and crawl to him while wearing a collar and leash. Once you’re in front of him give him the leash and tell him your his to command. Something else would be handcuff yourself to the headboard (if you have one you can do this with) and wait for him. Maybe leave any kink toys (vibes, gags, blindfold, clamps, etc..) you have next to you on the bed. Once he comes in and sees you all helpless it should hopefully excite him to the point of wanting to use you.”

Surprisingly good advice. It won’t work every time, especially with The Boyfriend. I also wouldn’t say that so far it’s worked for anything D/s-ey, but since The Boyfriend’s recent promotion, the basic advice behind this comment has helped tremendously. Take charge and initiate, if you don’t, you won’t get laid. Ah the joys of having an exhausted boyfriend 😉 Another post where Jess had some great insight is on What Do You Do?, as I whined some more about the plights of my vanilla sex life. I’ll just let you read the post…

Then recently, on the post in the previous paragraph, financialfacade wrote this really great comment and while it doesn’t apply to my situation so much (because I know The Boyfriend takes no medication and definitely isn’t depressed), it’s really great advice if you’re partner has recently started experiencing a decrease in their libido or change in performance. I like that this comment touches not only on the physical aspects of male arousal but also on the mental and emotional aspects as well as societal pressures to not discuss male sexuality.

Awhile back, I had begun reading A Man In My Position, a great blog about female-led relationships. I was more than pleased and a little excited that the writer had commented on not only one, but two of my posts, so far! Elated, in a word. And I got tons of really great tips and some of them, I’ve used. First, on the post That Bastard!!, the tip I got started with:

“Lean back. Take control of the sexual elements of your life, straight and kinky; begin with simply saying “no”.

No sex, period for a week or two or until you are very much in the mood.”

Ladies, this is a tip that works! How many of my straight male readers would agree with this statement: Men want what they can’t have. The harder she is to get, the more you want her.”? If anymore than 5% of you say that you disagree, I will slap my ass and paint it blue! In my personal situation, the less I show that I’m craving it, the more he seems to want it. The more aloof I am to his desire (this includes his fully erect penis – which is not easy to play careless towards), the more he seems determined to show it off.

This one is really great, because it has nothing to do with sex at all. In the post I’m Too Young to Feel Old…, I moaned and groaned about how out of control life can feel sometimes. The days don’t seem long enough, the kids are a handful, my house is a mess, wah! wah! wah! Instead of saying, “Get off the pity train… No you don’t even deserve a train, you deserve a bus. You deserve a bus that can’t go over 30 km/h or it will explode! Whiny bitch…”, I got an almost obvious tip that I just hadn’t really considered:

“And, crazy as this may sound, set your own alarm for twenty minutes before the rest of the house wakes up. Take those twenty minutes and make a bit of good coffee for yourself. Drink it. Read a book you would actually like. Stare at the dawn.”

It’s different when you take this twenty minutes at the end of the day, trust me. At the end of the day, you have gone through the stress of the day, this is winding down. The beginning of the day, you’re setting the mood of the day, you’re preparing for the coming stress. It makes sense to take a few moments, whether it’s five minutes or ten, to set yourself up for anything that may stand in your way that day. If you get out of bed with five minutes to spare before you leave the house, and you’re running around like a chicken with your head cut off, and you’ve got the news and the computer and the cellphone and everything’s crazy, how do you think the rest of your day will be?

So again, thank you to all of my fabulous readers. Thanks for taking the time to comment, thanks for giving me some really great and usable suggestions and thanks for listening to all my whining! Your comments are what keep me coming back and I really just want to hug all of you. Thank you and thank you again!


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Tonight’s Playlist


Sometimes, I’m just really impressed with the flow of my playlists. I like listening to what I’ve got and I thought to myself, “I can’t believe I’ve NEVER written a post like this…”, and so here we are! I’m always bragging about my varied musical tastes and how I can’t say I have a favorite “style” because I seriously love listening to EVERYTHING!

Yes, there are songs or artists that I’m not particularly fond of, but you’ll never hear me ask you to change a song, and I always try to pick out the positive in something. This results in some pretty interesting variations in a playlist, but tonight’s has stuck to a general type of course and I’m enjoying my listening experience.

So thanks to Grooveshark, I’m here tonight, listening to some really great music, which started with The Boyfriend’s suggestion of one of his favorite bands, Great Big Sea. I’m not going to list off every song on the playlist, but I will list off the artist’s and the songs that I think you really need to hear.

  1. Great Big Sea
    • The Chemical Worker’s Song
    • Consequence Free
    • Ordinary Day
  2. Crash Test Dummies
    • Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
    • Mary Moon
    • The Ballad of Peter Pumpkin Head
    • Superman
  3. The Counting Crows
    • Round Here
    • A Long December
    • Big Yellow Taxi
  4. The Trews
    • Tired of Waiting
    • Paranoid Freak
    • Man of Two Minds
    • Poor Ol’ Broken Hearted Me
  5. Fleetwood Mac
    • Dreams
    • Never Going Back Again
  6. The Be Good Tanyas
    • Human Thing
    • Lakes of Pontchartrain
    • In Spite of all the Damage
  7. The Wailin’ Jennys
    • Long Time Traveler
    • Saucy Sailor
    • Deeper Well
    • Cherry Blossom Love
    • The Parting Glass (known to me as “The song I’m going to play at my funeral… It’s decided!”)
  8. The Presidents of the United States of America
    • Kitty
    • Lump
    • Dune Buggy
  9. 4 Non Blondes
    • What’s Up

So there’s what I’m listening to tonight. What are you listening to? No really, I want to know, I’m running out of new and interesting music!

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous News


Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous

It’s been awhile since I wrote a post about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, the free social networking community for adult, lifestyle and sex bloggers that I run. When in reality, it’s all I’ve been working on lately, so it’s a surprise that I haven’t written anything here. I told some people at work about it and they laughed and said it’s hilarious. I took it pretty hard the first time, but now I just kind of laugh along. It’s hard to believe that I spend as much time on this thing as I do sometimes…. So, there’s been quite a bit new over there, let’s jump to it.

Newly Added Features

Recently, Spruz, the platform that Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is hosted on, underwent a pretty major update which included the ability to add the discussions and events features to the groups feature. So, we’ve made it so that every group can now host events and instead of using the old Topics, they can use the new Discussions – so far it’s working out really nicely.

We’ve also added the Blog Directory, though it’s really more of a link directory. You can post links to all your favorite blogs and websites and other users can comment on them, rate them and more! You can even check out what we’ve got added so far and comment and rate our links!

New on the Blog

I’ve been trying to write as much as physically possible on the blog lately. It’s a lot harder than you would think it is, but this is some of what’s new right now!

“When I created my personal sex bucket list on my blog The Rantings of a Tortured Mind about a year or so ago, I thought that kink was going to be possible. The Boyfriend was showing a lot of interest, it was all looking like that was the way it was going.

Now, a year later, it’s been about that long since I’ve had any kink in my life. The interest on his part has completely left and now I am definitely not getting my kink on! Needless to say, my bucket list has evolved with this same thing. Even though I’d still like to do those things one day, I’d like to keep it realistic enough that it’s not depressing.”

[READ MORE…]

Download our special report detailing 10 totally different ways to generate blog post ideas for your adult blog! These 10 activities are sure to get your creative juices flowing and help you come up with some of your greatest posts ever!”

[READ MORE…]

“Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous has been on Facebook for some time now. We’ve been rather slowly wading in the Facebook waters, especially as there have been some issues reported about “questionable content” on Facebook. But recently, we liked a bunch of a pages and our Facebook page has really picked up. So, here’s the 4 reasons you should become a Facebook fan!”

[READ MORE…]

Forum Discussions of Interest

The forums have kind of slowed down as we experiment with the new Discussions featured. Spruz has mentioned that one day the forums may go bye-bye, and we’ll have to use the Discussions feature, so we’re preparing. But until that happens, the forums will still be around, so here’s some of the best conversations happening now:

Groups of Greatness

Spruz Owner's Group on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Spruz Owner’s Group

If you run a social network on the Spruz platform, join this group for tips, tricks, advice and more!

Not Getting My Kink On... Group on Lifestyle Bloggers AnonymousNot Getting My Kink On…

The trials and tribulations of being a kinkster in a vanilla relationship.

Awesome Video

While there’s been a lot of really great videos added to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous and you can always see more by checking us out on YouTube, here’s our most favorite right now. Laci Green of Sex+ gives us an education in vagina’s in 90 seconds!!

New Blog Launched

That’s right!! It’s been a long time coming, but we’ve finally launched our Tumblr blog, featuring the best sex, kink and blogging-related randomness from around the world wide web. We’re even giving you the ability to submit your own favorites and ask us questions about the above topics.

You’ll get pictures, quotes, videos and tons of links to our favorite stuff everywhere!! So be sure to stay tuned for updates and if you’re on Tumblr, be sure to follow us! Visit Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous on Tumblr Today!

Now What…

So now, I’d like to invite you to head on over to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. If you’re a member, check out all the stuff that’s been added to the site and if you’re not a member, become one absolutely FREE today! Leave your comments here and let me know what you think about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Thanks for reading!