The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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Glad to Get On Here


I cannot tell you how happy I am that I got on the computer tonight… Absolutely and totally happy. It was a rough day today, which made where my bed seemed like the best place in the world to be. We’ll start with how I came to be on the computer and then maybe we’ll jump back to the rough day part of the story – we’ll see how I feel.

So, I’m laying in bed playing Minecraft and Keirnan and Kenzie have been sent up to bed and didn’t cause that much of hassle when it came to actually sleeping. Kaeidyn however, was still awake and in a most talkative mood and my brother (who is doing amazing, by the way…) and cousin are both here visiting. Carter, my dear sweet Carter, was being a most miserable brat. None of the other kids got donuts before bed and I had decided that Carter wasn’t going to get donuts before bed either, but Uncle and Great-Cousin (though they call him Uncle) had gotten donuts. Carter was most unhappy and cried for close to an hour straight. Over and over again with “I want a donut” and “I didn’t get a donut”.

Then, out of nowhere, the cry changes from a semi-manageable cry to a wail. He’s “ow”-ing away. Lately, he’s really enjoyed half hanging off of surfaces when he sits at them. It’s mostly because as he uses whatever is on the surface in front of him, he manages to push it away from himself. We’ll find him dangling by his belly button from the computer desk because he’s pushed the keyboard all the way back to where he can’t reach it from the chair or at dinner time, dangling from the table because he pushed his plate too far away while eating… Somewhere along all the dangling today, he had managed to get – I’m not sure what you would call it, almost like rug burn but from the wood-like-stuff on the table. It seemed like one from much earlier today, possibly from when The Boyfriend and I weren’t here (more on that later).

Anyways, I cleaned it all up and put some Polysporin on it and talked him through the last of his upsets about the donut, and had convinced him that he needed to take a bath. Out of all of the kids, he definitely needs to be bathed the most. So now, instead of whining about the donuts, he’s now whining because he wants to hurry up and go for a bath. I shut off the games and The Boyfriend decided that he was going to play for awhile. Normally this means, when I come downstairs, I can either sit there and watch him play games or go on the computer – so, go on the computer it was.

And once again, I say unto you, I am most pleased that I did. First, I jump on Facebook (as usual) and immediately find some interesting stuff that had me laughing. Then, I jumped on Twitter. Oh wait, I don’t know if I told you this yet… If you’ll notice, in the sidebar, there is a Twitter feed and if you’ve followed me around the web for quite some time (which I know that I’m really the only one who follows me around on the web… :(), you’ll notice that this isn’t the same as it’s always been. The one there, happens to be the Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Twitter feed. Some time ago, I had gotten completely fed up with my personal Twitter feed. I was following a lot of people that I had no idea who they were, it was all disorganized and I absolutely despised my previous Twitter handle: @blogaholica – the “a” on the end just always really bugged me…

But recently, I went through my old Twitter account, changed my handle, deleted almost everyone I was following that I didn’t know and had never actually said a word to me and re-organized the whole thing so that I knew what I was working about. I’m pretty sure I alluded to this a couple posts ago. But it was essentially spring cleaning of all my social networks. So, I revamped and came back as @ValerieRayne13 and have been having a great time.

Now that I’m not following a bunch of people who are talking about things that I’m just not interested in (which felt a lot like when The Boyfriend begged me to watch Smosh videos on YouTube last night, which I just barely made it through…), it’s so much nicer going on Twitter and I’m having a ton of fun. By far, my most favorite tweet from myself, so far, goes out to @Cmdr_Hadfield of International Space Station fame (this is one of those things that The Boyfriend got me interested in, that didn’t make me barf a little in my heart). I warn you, not only does it show you just how much of a nerd I really am, but it’s also my lamest and most favorite tweet ever:

After writing this, I’m off to do even more on the computer, before The Boyfriend officially decides it’s bedtime, which I’m sure is coming sooner rather than later, but if you want to read about my rough day, you can always continue reading…

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The Older Sister/Younger Brother Fight


Something is up with Kenzie and Kaeidyn. No idea for sure exactly what just yet, but something for sure. Maybe it’s too much time together, since they walk to school alone together most mornings. But these last 2 days have been total hell with the two of them. They’re constantly arguing with each other or comparing each other (all, ‘Anything you can do, I can do better!”), Kenzie’s almost always in tears about whatever happens between the two of them and Kaeidyn is always on the absolute defensive.

Here I am, stuck in the middle, waving a white flag and screaming on the inside, “I surrender, I surrender!”.

I have absolutely no idea how to handle this. Today, as they burst through the door, almost immediately they started telling the tale of what happened on the walk home. Kenzie started and then Kaeidyn burst through the door, “No, it actually happened like…” and the second she said the first word, Kenzie began crying “No, that’s not” and she yelled, “Yes” and he yelled, “No!” and I yelled, “STOP!”

I called Kenzie to me and took him in my arms. I looked at Kaeidyn and told her to go make after school snacks while I dealt with Kenzie. She did, but insisted on inserting her two cents every time she disagreed with Kenzie. At first, I was mainly just trying to calm him down, not actually trying to get much detail from him. Then, when Kenzie was calm he went out to the kitchen to help Kaeidyn and she hurt him. They hadn’t been home for 5 minutes…

I immediately went out there and told her to stop making the food and talk to me for a second. “Why are you being like this towards Kenzie?” and she begins crying out her side of what happened on the walk home. “He kept telling me which way to go home and he wouldn’t listen to me, and that got me really upset at him, and I don’t like getting upset like that and then he starts crying, so I try to be nice to him and he just keeps saying no!” and through this whole thing she’s blubbering and shaking and turning the crimson color of her shirt. What do I say to that?!? She knows what the issue is, I have no idea how to solve it, so I went to talk to Kenzie.

He tells the story much calmer and almost exactly the same way, but reveals a detail that she’s conveniently left out. The whole situation started over her telling him that she was worried they were going to get lost, because it was the first day that they walked home from school (even though it’s the exact same way they walk to school), but he wasn’t concerned because he remembered the way. When he told her this, she continued on to tell him that they should turn around and go back to the school and call me to come pick them up. Let the argument previously described commence!

Kaeidyn

Kenzie

While I know that the problem is solved by picking them up from school and I know that’s what I’ll be doing the next half day, because on full days I go pick them up anyways because Keirnan can’t leave without a parent. But, it’s not just this argument. They’ve been this way towards each other for days now. Kaeidyn has never been worried about getting lost, even when I was worried that she would. Kenzie’s behavior is really no surprise but Kaeidyn’s is so out of whack for her. She’s not normally one to hit her brothers unless it’s in a playful way. Something’s up with that little girl.

And I have absolutely no idea how to figure out what’s going on with her, no idea how to help her through whatever it is, no idea how to deal with her bursts and tantrums and I’m absolutely confuddled by her attitude. I’m very lost…