The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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Musing


I so desperately want to upload videos to my YouTube channel, like terribly badly, but I seriously suck at this piano thing. Every single time I play, in the moment, I’m like “Oh yeah, this is my jam!” and then I listen back to it and it just sounds like utter crap!!

I sat in front of my computer for the last 2 1/2 hours, rocking out with my Casio. And I sucked…

I want to put something on  YouTube for everyone and I just can’t bring myself to let anyone witness this crap. I even have a slight issue with The Boyfriend listening again, since I made him suffer the first time around…

And man oh man, how does he do it?!? I would be so annoyed by listening to all these songs slowed down and butchered and just tortured and beaten black and blue. I miss my freaking guitar!!!!!

See, the issue is that I’m too old to learn this stuff by myself now. And while I know that that’s a lie, if I really dedicated myself to it I could learn this freaking instrument, I just can’t bring myself to get any better. I’ve been practicing every once and awhile and every time I think I’m starting to get the hang of something, it just slaps me in the face every time I watch these videos.

I figured it wouldn’t sting so much if I waited a longer period in between when I played and when I watched the video, and it doesn’t. Simply, for an absolute matter of fact, I am just better with wind instruments like the bassoon and stringed instruments like the guitar and I’m pissed that I don’t have either of those things…

I miss my guitar…

P.S. If you didn’t know, the title to this post, “Musing” is an homage to my most beloved guitar, she was a beauty and the story behind her is a little romantic. You wanna hear it?

Okay, for those of you who stuck around.

The Boyfriend and I had been dating a few months when my birthday rolled around. He insisted that I get a babysitter on the day and told me we were going for a ride. He begins driving through the industrial area of town and I’m getting more and more confused as to where we’re going and why we’re in this part of town. He pulls up to a building and all I see is a sign about something to do with audio, that’s it.

As he pulls open the door, I am greeted by a wall of guitars. Electrics, acoustics, steel and my jaw drops. He puts his hand on my neck (like we did when we were out in public back then) and tells me, “Pick one” – total Cinderella moment. We spent hours there, me trying to find the perfect sound, him trying to act interested. When I picked up my Muse, I knew she was the one.

I can’t even remember what kind of guitar it was, except that it was an electric/acoustic. But she was beautiful and as soon as I got her home, I was writing songs. I wrote a good deal of songs on my Muse – of course, none of which I can remember. And then…

I did not take good enough care of her. If I knew then what I knew now, I would’ve created an untouchable shrine for her. Alas, I left her where the kids could touch her and slowly over time, she broke. It took me years to finally throw her in the garbage and I’m sure I cried the day that I did…


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First Week of December


We’re all sick again… I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this many colds one right after the other. I feel like most of us have been sick since the snow first fell. The kids are missing tons of school because of it, which completely sucks and I’m quite worried about how this is going to affect their grades and school future. I know Keirnan has missed a lot of school, a lot of it!

The Boyfriend goes to get his cast removed on Wednesday and then they’ll re-assess to see if it’s healed or if they’ll need to re-cast it. We’re both incredibly excited for it to come off and his fingertips are getting impatient. I’ve never seen anyone’s hands get so dry, but his fingertips are grossly dry and peeling. He had his first day back at work yesterday, after almost 2 weeks off because of the break-in and I was surprised when he came in the door afterwards in quite a good mood. Today, he says he feels sore and exhausted, but I think that’s because he’s getting hit with the cold that the rest of us have.

I’m starting to feel very cooped up in the house, something that happens every winter. I’m really not a fan of the cold, in any way. I really despise the cold and avoid it like the plague. So in the last 2 weeks, the only time I’ve left the house is when I’m being picked up to go to Wal-Mart for groceries. I haven’t just left the house to leave the house, I haven’t gone to anyone else’s house, I haven’t just stepped out the front door. And of course, since the kids have been sick, I’m cooped up in the house with all the kids. It’s causing me to go a bit crazy, to be quite honest.

I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube lately and have become quite obsessed with Hank Green (one half of my favorite YouTube-ing duo, The Vlogbrothers), and when I say obsessed, it’s a bit of an understatement. I officially have a crush on another woman’s husband! I really enjoy watching all of his videos and listening to his songs and just hearing about all these things that he’s done. I wish I could be him… Really, there’s a whole bunch of YouTubers that I’m starting to become obsessed with but Hank Green seems to be the highest on my list.

The other day, I had noticed that I didn’t track my period for the month of November. I checked all the different places that I normally put at least something to let me know, but I couldn’t find anything. I turned to The Boyfriend, “Hey Babe, did I have a period in November?” and he responds, “No, I was just thinking that, I don’t think you did”. I eyed him up and down, “Oh, and when did you think you should let me in on this?!?”. We can’t say that that means anything though, because my periods haven’t exactly gone back to normal completely. It had only been 3 months of having them around the same time every month, prior to that they were all over the place. Some months I’d have no period for months on end and other months I’d have two periods in one month. I’m hoping it’s just my body having an issue with period regulation and not that other thing that a lack of period can mean. If it is, I don’t feel like it is…

Well, that’s pretty much the last few days in 600 words or less. Next week, we have to get Christmas presents, which should be fun – though I have no idea what we’re going to get the kids and eventually I’ve gotta get the kids in to see the doctor and the dentist. I swear I say that every December… How’s your first week of December going?


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Makes Me Miss Bassoon


For most of yesterday and today, I’ve been sore and that means that I’ve been lazy. My neck is causing me a heck of a lot of problems and it’s resulted in me laying in bed a lot. Since I haven’t been in to watching movies or TV much, Netflix has barely gotten used but we’re watching tons of YouTube.

The other day, and I can’t believe I’ve never searched for this before, I decided to search for one of the instruments that I played back in high school. I wanted to see what was out there for bassoon music. I came across the most amazing bassoon quartet – The Breaking Winds and thought it would be nice to share one of my (now official) favorite videos on YouTube. Here’s The Breaking Winds doing a cover of Goyte’s Somebody That I Used to Know:

If you liked it as much as I did, let them know by leaving a comment or liking the video. Never heard the bassoon sound so beautiful and dramatic before! If you know of other great bassoon videos, leave me a comment below!


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This Should Be a Viral Video… IMHO


IMHO = In My Humble Opinion

I am always on the lookout for videos on YouTube. Lately, I’ve been obsessed (okay, that’s an understatement) with belly dancing videos. You might remember my Day One Project desire of learning how to belly dance and while I’m no closer to achieving that, I am still crazy about the dance. On one of my searches for belly dancing drum solos (see the Sadie video here for an example), I came across probably one of the most interesting videos I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching.

Enjoy this hand drum solo piece. It kind of inspires me to learn how to play some hand drums although I don’t think I’ll ever be this good…


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Tonight’s Playlist


Sometimes, I’m just really impressed with the flow of my playlists. I like listening to what I’ve got and I thought to myself, “I can’t believe I’ve NEVER written a post like this…”, and so here we are! I’m always bragging about my varied musical tastes and how I can’t say I have a favorite “style” because I seriously love listening to EVERYTHING!

Yes, there are songs or artists that I’m not particularly fond of, but you’ll never hear me ask you to change a song, and I always try to pick out the positive in something. This results in some pretty interesting variations in a playlist, but tonight’s has stuck to a general type of course and I’m enjoying my listening experience.

So thanks to Grooveshark, I’m here tonight, listening to some really great music, which started with The Boyfriend’s suggestion of one of his favorite bands, Great Big Sea. I’m not going to list off every song on the playlist, but I will list off the artist’s and the songs that I think you really need to hear.

  1. Great Big Sea
    • The Chemical Worker’s Song
    • Consequence Free
    • Ordinary Day
  2. Crash Test Dummies
    • Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
    • Mary Moon
    • The Ballad of Peter Pumpkin Head
    • Superman
  3. The Counting Crows
    • Round Here
    • A Long December
    • Big Yellow Taxi
  4. The Trews
    • Tired of Waiting
    • Paranoid Freak
    • Man of Two Minds
    • Poor Ol’ Broken Hearted Me
  5. Fleetwood Mac
    • Dreams
    • Never Going Back Again
  6. The Be Good Tanyas
    • Human Thing
    • Lakes of Pontchartrain
    • In Spite of all the Damage
  7. The Wailin’ Jennys
    • Long Time Traveler
    • Saucy Sailor
    • Deeper Well
    • Cherry Blossom Love
    • The Parting Glass (known to me as “The song I’m going to play at my funeral… It’s decided!”)
  8. The Presidents of the United States of America
    • Kitty
    • Lump
    • Dune Buggy
  9. 4 Non Blondes
    • What’s Up

So there’s what I’m listening to tonight. What are you listening to? No really, I want to know, I’m running out of new and interesting music!

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous News


Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous

It’s been awhile since I wrote a post about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, the free social networking community for adult, lifestyle and sex bloggers that I run. When in reality, it’s all I’ve been working on lately, so it’s a surprise that I haven’t written anything here. I told some people at work about it and they laughed and said it’s hilarious. I took it pretty hard the first time, but now I just kind of laugh along. It’s hard to believe that I spend as much time on this thing as I do sometimes…. So, there’s been quite a bit new over there, let’s jump to it.

Newly Added Features

Recently, Spruz, the platform that Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is hosted on, underwent a pretty major update which included the ability to add the discussions and events features to the groups feature. So, we’ve made it so that every group can now host events and instead of using the old Topics, they can use the new Discussions – so far it’s working out really nicely.

We’ve also added the Blog Directory, though it’s really more of a link directory. You can post links to all your favorite blogs and websites and other users can comment on them, rate them and more! You can even check out what we’ve got added so far and comment and rate our links!

New on the Blog

I’ve been trying to write as much as physically possible on the blog lately. It’s a lot harder than you would think it is, but this is some of what’s new right now!

“When I created my personal sex bucket list on my blog The Rantings of a Tortured Mind about a year or so ago, I thought that kink was going to be possible. The Boyfriend was showing a lot of interest, it was all looking like that was the way it was going.

Now, a year later, it’s been about that long since I’ve had any kink in my life. The interest on his part has completely left and now I am definitely not getting my kink on! Needless to say, my bucket list has evolved with this same thing. Even though I’d still like to do those things one day, I’d like to keep it realistic enough that it’s not depressing.”

[READ MORE…]

Download our special report detailing 10 totally different ways to generate blog post ideas for your adult blog! These 10 activities are sure to get your creative juices flowing and help you come up with some of your greatest posts ever!”

[READ MORE…]

“Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous has been on Facebook for some time now. We’ve been rather slowly wading in the Facebook waters, especially as there have been some issues reported about “questionable content” on Facebook. But recently, we liked a bunch of a pages and our Facebook page has really picked up. So, here’s the 4 reasons you should become a Facebook fan!”

[READ MORE…]

Forum Discussions of Interest

The forums have kind of slowed down as we experiment with the new Discussions featured. Spruz has mentioned that one day the forums may go bye-bye, and we’ll have to use the Discussions feature, so we’re preparing. But until that happens, the forums will still be around, so here’s some of the best conversations happening now:

Groups of Greatness

Spruz Owner's Group on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Spruz Owner’s Group

If you run a social network on the Spruz platform, join this group for tips, tricks, advice and more!

Not Getting My Kink On... Group on Lifestyle Bloggers AnonymousNot Getting My Kink On…

The trials and tribulations of being a kinkster in a vanilla relationship.

Awesome Video

While there’s been a lot of really great videos added to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous and you can always see more by checking us out on YouTube, here’s our most favorite right now. Laci Green of Sex+ gives us an education in vagina’s in 90 seconds!!

New Blog Launched

That’s right!! It’s been a long time coming, but we’ve finally launched our Tumblr blog, featuring the best sex, kink and blogging-related randomness from around the world wide web. We’re even giving you the ability to submit your own favorites and ask us questions about the above topics.

You’ll get pictures, quotes, videos and tons of links to our favorite stuff everywhere!! So be sure to stay tuned for updates and if you’re on Tumblr, be sure to follow us! Visit Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous on Tumblr Today!

Now What…

So now, I’d like to invite you to head on over to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. If you’re a member, check out all the stuff that’s been added to the site and if you’re not a member, become one absolutely FREE today! Leave your comments here and let me know what you think about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Thanks for reading!