The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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Thoughts from the Last 72 Hours


Well, last night’s storm (the first real storm of the season) ended up being absolutely perfect for the first one of the year. It wasn’t so bad that I was freaking out all night about it (though I did stay up about 2 1/2 hours later than everyone else watching the storm) and I was able to keep myself and whichever kid happened to be woken up by the thunder, relatively calm. All in all, I was very impressed with myself.

The only urge that I had all night was to watch those clouds and make sure they didn’t turn into anything horrible. The Weather Network had been posting for a day or two that they were expecting this storm to come in and were getting everyone ready for tornado weather, so I had gone into this storm already paranoid. Luckily, after the first two really big cracks of thunder, the storm was relatively a small one. Lots of lightning, a couple of rumbles of thunder and tons of rain, but the wind wasn’t nearly as bad as they had called for.

Looking through the Weather Network today, it looks like a total of 4 tornadoes did touch down here in Alberta, but only in the south and no one was injured. Looking into the future around the site and their Summer Outlook, it looks like we’re not exactly in for the best season here. It sounds like it’s going to be a lot more of these storms and I can only hope that I deal with them as well as I did last night. We’re still under a severe thunderstorm watch, so we’ll see what happens!

It’s hard to believe that another school year is almost done. In September, we have another kid starting school, only one more to go after that. Kenzie goes to full days, which will be beautiful. Plus, he can walk with Kaeidyn, instead of having to walk with adults. Though, we’ll still be doing the half days with Keirnan…

I’ve been calling around for houses and landed myself a job interview for Monday. The houses part of that sentence is not going as well as one would hope at all. We went to apply for Community Housing, which I was stressing out about way more than was necessary, but because of the amount of kids we have and their guidelines regarding the number of bedrooms we need, they currently have nothing available. I have to call today to find out if their other assistance program will work for us. In the meantime, I’m just going to keep calling all these places that I know we won’t be able to get, for whatever reason. Today, a whole bunch of places a lot like the one I currently live in (but cheaper) came online, so I’ve already called about them.

I’m excited about my interview and cannot wait to go to it. It makes me nervous that it’s still 5 days away, but I figure it gives me more time to prepare. And if I go in there prepared, with the way my resume looks right now, I’m confident that I’ll walk out with something. If not a job, at least a sense of accomplishment (as opposed to failure). Until I get a job though, things are going to be so financially strapped it’s ridiculous. It’s hard to believe that it wasn’t that long ago that we had just gotten everything back on track and it seemed like it was all going to be great…

I need to go see a doctor eventually too. Especially if The Weather Network is right. First of all, I’ve been getting a lot of pain in my legs again. My knees seem to only really be bad at night, but my calves and ankles are always feeling like muscles are being stretched too hard or torn, when I’m not even doing anything. Then, I’ve been getting this horrible nagging pain right at the bottom of my rib cage, sort of where you would imagine the spleen, liver, pancreas, etc. I’ve had pain like this in the past, when I was pregnant with Kaeidyn, but instead of the nagging type of pain it was sudden and sharp. It landed me in the hospital for 4 days, plus every couple of months after that.

The doctor’s at the time had thought that it was a gallstone, but then when I was pregnant with Kenzie and was having the same problem, the doctor wanted to get an ultrasound of my liver, which I never went for. So now, I’m worried that it’s something I should be worried about. Especially being that it’s been happening for so long now. It’s been this dull and nagging constant pain in my upper stomach for over a month now. So it’s probably about time I get it checked.

I’m also seriously considering asking about getting some anti-anxiety meds for these storms. I was talking with The Boyfriend yesterday about my fears about it and the reasons why I am so hesitant to take them. It’s not that I haven’t taken anti-anxiety meds in the past, I have. I know what to expect going into it and that’s kind of the part that has me stressing the most. I just don’t want to be running into my bathroom at the first sight of every storm this summer. I want to be able to be calm in front of the kids, so that they stay calm, and I want to be able to keep myself calm so that if anything were to happen, I could be prepared for it, instead of frazzled and crying.

Well, that’s the things that have been on my mind over the past 48 – 72 hours. Have you been getting any storms where you live? What are your reactions to storms? Do you freak out or do you take them in stride? Are you able to sleep through them or are you like me, constantly checking on it? Leave your comments and let’s share our thoughts on storms!!


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July 7, 2011 Central Alberta Storm (There’s Videos!!)


I’m hating the weather this summer so far. Have I ever told you how much I despise storms? My greatest fear in life is that I’ll be taken out by a natural disaster. It used to be lightening, then it changed to an unexplained fire, and now it is 100% a tornado.


Near Penhold, Alberta

On Thursday, we had a wicked storm and it was the first time I’ve ever been a part of a city that had a tornado warning that advised you to “take shelter immediately”. The worst part about the entire thing was that The Boyfriend had walked to the store…

So as we normally do when there’s a storm, we go out on the balcony and check out the rain, the lightening, the thunder and really I’m checking to see if I think it looks rough enough to be down in my bathroom! I walk outside and it’s still pretty light out, but I see a father and his daughter underneath of an umbrella. Then I see the Dad point to the sky and then they ran back into the house. Automatically I thought, shit a tornado is coming and I don’t know if The Boyfriend is going to be safe.

Clouds began billowing up into the sky at a speed that I’ve never seen before. The only thing at all that brought me comfort is that there was a plane following the storm and passing through the absolutely wicked clouds. It’s interesting to me how many people, when every information source is telling you to take shelter, will go outside. The street filled with people as my neighbor tells me a tornado has just touched down outside of Innisfail.


Near Penhold, Alberta

Then it starts hailing wickedly. Of course when I first learned of all the tornado warnings, I automatically read up on the internet about disaster preparedness. I knew what to do if there was a tornado, but I wanted some reassurance that I absolutely knew, just in case! Rain is usually not present during a tornado, but hail is. So that set off even more panic as I paced frantically in the living room wondering if I should wake all the kids up to go hide in the bathroom while we waited for The Boyfriend to get back.

By the time The Boyfriend got back, the hail had stopped and the sky behind our house turned a brilliant blue with light fluffy clouds. All I have to say is thank goodness for The Weather Network and @AB_EmergAlert. Because if I wouldn’t of been able to check those two things every few minutes, I’m sure a panic attack would’ve hit.


Near Sundre and Olds, Alberta

So far, no injuries have been reported even though a total of 4 (last I heard) tornadoes touched down in Central Alberta. No idea how many funnel clouds there were, I know of 2 in Red Deer alone. Though I don’t even want to know how many people, who all feel the same way about tornadoes as I do, are still worrying about it.

The last two nights has been pretty windy at night. It seems to be pretty calm during the day, just some cloudy skies. Then we get to night and the wind picks up. Falling asleep has been pretty darn hard, because being defenseless worries me. At least during the day, you can see the storm a-brewing. At night, not so much.

I hope, for my sake and for the others who are scared of storms, that this is the last bad storm of the year. I know it probably won’t happen, but I definitely don’t like when it happens and even more so, I hope that if it does happen, The Boyfriend is at least at home when it does. I also hope that this crappy weather goes away soon, so that I can get a really good nights sleep…

What natural disaster scares you the most? Or are you one of the lucky soles who isn’t really afraid of it? Have you ever witnessed a tornado or other disaster? Let’s talk storms people!