The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Nipple Licking is Popular Here


Today I spent some time going through my blog stats. I don’t do this often enough, mainly because it’s almost always the same thing. I average the same amount of visitors every day, they often come from the same places, and more often than not it’s always the same search term (or variation of) that brings them here.

You’ve heard me say it before and I’ll probably continue to keep on saying it, that the search term that gets most people here has to do with sex bucket lists. How to make one, ideas for one, etc. So I don’t normally look through my stats that often. But recently, the searches that are bringing people here are less often dealing with sex bucket lists and more often dealing with nipple licking, thanks to my post Dual Nipple Licking.

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Not Well


I’ve discovered why I don’t listen to podcasts.. I simply cannot multitask. I can’t pay attention to what’s being said and also do other things. See tonight, The Boyfriend brought me home a gift that was supposed to be for my birthday but he couldn’t get it until now. I got a BlackBerry PlayBook!!!

So I’m sitting here listening to a podcast and trying to read a couple books that I downloaded, but I think it’s impossible. Especially being that I’m incredibly interested in this podcast.

I’ve only recently started listening to podcasts… Very recently! It started with The Gloria Brame Show, which I officially love. Dr. Brame is kinda my idol (one of many). But tonight, after years of having it on my to-listen-to list, I finally gave a dedicated listen to Savage Love and I think I’ve found another podcast I need to start listening to on a regular basis.

I was surprised at how into the podcast I was getting but even more than that, I was taken aback by how into The Boyfriend was getting. He doesn’t usually pay much attention to anything I do on any device so it was a nice little change. I spent most of the night subscribing to podcasts that I’ve heard about over the years and plan to spend most of today sifting through those.

In other news, I had gotten an infection in one of my teeth last week, which isn’t altogether uncommon for me. First,  I’m a smoker. My teeth are just bad because of it. Then, my back teeth (can’t remember what they’re called, either the molars or wisdom teeth) are trying to come in but there’s no room for them. So, I spent all last week with an incredibly sore mouth. Then The Boyfriend and I had sex and the pain went away. Imagine my total excitement.

But then, I woke up yesterday and instead of feeling no pain, the infection has just moved to the other side of my mouth. My face is all swollen and I’m sleeping horribly because of all this pain. I need to go see a dentist but right now we just can’t figure out how to make it work financially. Lately though, I’ve been wondering if that’s true, or if I’m just so scared that I’m making excuses.

I’ve always hated the dentist. Doctors, surgeons, never been scared of them, but dentists, deathly afraid. I start packing the second they take the x-rays. And while you can now do the whole sedation thing, I do worry a lot about the cost of all that. Just in general, I’m worried.

Something is also going on with my neck and I’ve had probably 3 days now of this intense and nagging pain. It’s making my head hurt constantly and no amount of tylenol seems to be helping. It’s making me more grumpy than I’ve been in a long time…

I’m just so sick and tired of feeling like I’m falling apart. Every time I start thinking that I’m feeling better or healthier, something turns around and bites me in the ass. I feel like it’s taking its toll on me entirely. I don’t even feel like myself anymore…


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Lots About Kaeidyn…


Parent/Teacher Conferences Tonight… I just know I’m going to hear something about all the school Keirnan has missed. We need to figure out what’s causing us all to be so sick so often, that way we can get Keirnan to school more often! Luckily, this cold isn’t being nearly as brutal as all the others. I think I’m on Day 5 now and except for a small scratch in my throat, I feel pretty okay. Unfortunately, and yes I’m blaming the cold, one of my teeth is now acting up and my mouth is killing me.

We need to all get in and see a dentist but right now it’s just not in the budget. So, I’m trying to apply for some assistance on that level but my Adobe Reader isn’t working for some reason, even though I just downloaded the newest version. I will try again later on today. I have a feeling that I’m going to get my teeth looked at and they’re going to say that all of them need to come out. That scares the crap out of me!

Really, what I’m noticing, is that we need to figure out a way to force ourselves to get healthier in general. I really need to get vitamins for the kids, we all need to start drinking milk (I can’t even remember the last time I had milk…) and we just need to start taking in more nutrients – because I think that’s part of the problem. Our bodies can’t function properly because they don’t have the power they need…

The Boyfriend took his cast off yesterday, so he finally has use of both his hands. Instead of going to the doctors, he spent a few hours with a pair of scissors or something and just cut the thing off himself. Don’t ask me why he didn’t just go to the doctors, I was half asleep for most of the day yesterday, fighting this hurting tooth pretty hard.

Got the kids report cards yesterday. They had actually come out awhile back, but the kids hadn’t been at school for the week because of their colds, so just got them yesterday. Both Kaeidyn and Kenzie are either doing excellent in every area or are meeting expectations. The only area that they both got “Needs developing” for was in self-assessment, which doesn’t surprise me – don’t we all! Kaeidyn’s the only one that’s getting actual grades, and right now is sitting at about a C average. This seems to be pretty typical of her. We can definitely tell she’s struggling more this year than last.

I think all the kids are and I blame it mostly on the fact that this school is teaching them completely differently than the last school. I mean, at Normandeau the big focus was on phonics. Learning to read and write by sounding it out. With Kaeidyn, this worked wonders. It was incredibly easy to help her with reading and writing. With Kenzie, they are doing sight-reading only, no phonics at all. It’s making it very hard to know how to support him in reading when I was taught and we taught Kaeidyn how to sound it out and with Kenzie, we can’t even go there. He’s not learning that.

Kaeidyn is even having an issue in math because they do the math so differently than she was taught. And don’t even get me started on how much I don’t understand her math, because they definitely never taught us how to do math like that when I was going to school. I often stare at her math homework, then give up and tell her to go ask The Boyfriend for help. Somehow, he tends to figure it all out. Really, he’s so good with them and their homework, helping them out with it. He’s so patient when helping Kenzie to read and him and Kaeidyn laugh a lot when they’re trying to do math and it’s always such a cute moment to watch. Not so much when I’m helping them with their homework. I get flustered and frustrated…

Yesterday, he’s helping Kaeidyn with a math question. It was a word question where she had to ultimately add 3 numbers to find out how many things total, were in a box of ornaments. She kept getting it wrong and couldn’t figure out where she was going wrong. Her and The Boyfriend are working on it when Kenzie starts bugging Kaeidyn that it should be easy. So she says, “Oh yeah, what’s 35 + 27 + 12?”. Kenzie pauses for a second and then responds, “Hard!”. My thoughts exactly 😉

We’re also having incredible issues with Kaeidyn about the break-in. She has only slept a few nights upstairs, otherwise she’s been down here sleeping with us. Last night, after really giving it a go upstairs, she came down frantically crying. I asked what she was so worried about and she starts going off about how she’s scared soldiers are going to break down our door and lock the kids in the basement, that they’re going to kill us all. Apparently it’s even been coming up at school a lot and she just seems overly stressed out and worried about it. We’re doing the best we know how to comfort and support her, but sometimes you just feel like you’re not doing enough. We just have to give her time.

So, that’s been these last few days. Lots more than I had originally thought I was going to write, so that’s good. Now to make it through these parent/teacher conferences!