The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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Just Found the Coolest Thing


Since it’s been so long since I’ve been on the computer, I was getting re-acquainted tonight and checking in on some of the old accounts that I have that I haven’t accessed in forever, such as my YouTube and Goodreads accounts. In the process, I checked in on my Formspring account, which I really haven’t checked at all since I first got it. Don’t ask me why, because I couldn’t tell you. Sincerely going to start using it again…

Anyways, I hopped over to lunaKM’s feed (because I follow her just about everywhere) and someone had asked her about something called Slave Control Software and immediately I was curious. lunaKM had never personally used this software, but I jumped over to the site and gave a quick little read. The site itself doesn’t really have that much information on it, but essentially, it’s two different programs used to train a slave – all from the comfort of the home computer.

First, I downloaded the Virtual Master program. The description is as follows:

“The program enables a sub to design her/his own “virtual master/mistress” to which she/he can report, ask permissions, ask instructions etc. Or it enables a master/mistress to set up a set of rules for a sub, who can send reports back to the master. The program is intended for long term use.”

The program comes with two demos, one for males and one for females – though I’m almost positive that gender really doesn’t matter… I tested out the female demo and let me tell you, I’m hella impressed with this program and can’t wait to begin experimenting with making my very own scripts. Don’t know who I’ll use them on, other than myself, but it could be a lot of fun!

First things first, you start out with merit points – 500 of them to be exact. At this point, your status is “Normal”. The very first thing that happens is the program gives you a list of assignments that must be completed by a certain date and a certain time. This demo version included:

  • Clean the kitchen
  • Clean the bathroom
  • Vacuum the house
  • Write 20 lines about being a slave
  • Write 20 times: “I want to be the best slave I can be”

Now, be warned… If you click on these assignments and claim that you have done something and really haven’t, it’ll dock you merit points and give you a punishment. For example, I clicked on Clean the kitchen and then clicked that I was done immediately afterwards. A message box popped up, “It only took you 6 seconds to clean the kitchen?” and I got merit points docked off and got a No TV for 4 Days punishment… The line-writing assignments you do directly within the program and it tracks the number of lines you’ve written and sends a report to your virtual master.

There are way more cool features about this program as well. For instance, you can set up the rules to be anything you want. Rules include things you have to ask permission for, things you have to report doing, reasons why you may have to confess, rules regarding clothing and specific instructions. In the female demo mode, the rules are as follows:

  • Permissions
    You must ask permission to:

    • Eat
    • Go to the toilet
    • Masturbate
    • Smoke
    • Etc.
  • Reports
    You must report when:

    • You wake up and go to bed
    • Have guests and when they leave
    • Go to work and come home
    • Etc.
  • Confessions
    You must confess when:

    • You have an erotic fantasy
    • Forgot to ask permission
    • Etc.
  • Clothing
    You must ask for specific clothing instructions for these situations:

    • Going out
    • At home
    • Etc.
  • Instructions
    You must always ask for instructions on how to:

    • Eat
    • Sleep

So, now that we’ve covered some of the rules that have been put in place for the demo, we can look at what else we can do. Of course, these rules can be changed based on the scripts you write for the program. I haven’t delved into the Script Writing Manual or even attempted to write my first script with it, but when I do, I’ll let you know how it goes.

You can also communicate directly with your virtual master. You can ask for specific instructions, ask for punishments and report on your assignment progress as well as confess your sins and report on what you’re wearing. Honestly, I think I’m going to have fun experimenting with this download.

If you’re interested, check out the Slave Control Software website and let it be known that this is a totally awesome and absolutely free download. Then, leave your comments and let me know what you think of this software. Would you use this and if you did, how do you think you would? What rules and punishments would you include?

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Punished…


It seems like almost all day today, I’ve been thinking about and fantasizing about punishment in an erotic sort of way… It’s gotten increasingly stronger all day and that last episode of Star Trek (Voyager, Season 3, Episode: Favorite Son) pushed it straight over the edge as a group of women bonded themselves to another male with black sashes on his wrists, eyes and mouth.

Kink in general has been weighing heavy on my mind lately. I have a craving at least once a day for a spanking – it’s been so damn long since I’ve had one that I almost don’t even remember what it feels like or why I seriously enjoy it… At least twice this week alone I’ve felt angry that I’ve spent money on a flogger and a crop that never gets used…

Unfortunately, no matter how much I beg or how much I ask for it or how much we discuss it, it seems like we never ever get closer to the sort of relationship dynamic I long for. It probably wouldn’t even bother me so much if he’d just show a little tiny bit of interest.

Lately, all I’ve been able to think about is being punished. Being caned for my disobedience, or being put in the corner or not being allowed to make eye contact or something… I want us to have rules that I have to listen to or it will result in punishment, period with no exceptions. Obviously it wouldn’t be easy, but we would figure out a way to make it work and be hella erotic all at the same time.

It would be so hot if say one of the rules was that I had to have some area of the house cleaned by a certain time. If I didn’t have it done by that time, then he would whisper in my ear that as soon as the kids are asleep, I will be punished for my wrong doing. Then after all the kids are asleep, wham! I get the punishment and am taught a valuable lesson about why I should listen to the rules. When you listen, you get rewards, rewards full of pleasure.

I wonder if it’s even worth it to keep dreaming of this stuff. I’ve made my vanilla bed and now I have to lie in it. Part of me feels like I should just forget about all my interests in kink, because it’s really getting me nowhere. The other part of me remembers how wonderful it was getting it for that short period of time and it’s fighting me to hold onto it… I hate feeling confused about my sexuality in this way, because I’m normally so sure, but lately, not so much. I feel like I’m so stuck in this in-between type of place, and it’s frustrating.