The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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What do you want?!?


So, I’ve been brainstorming like crazy to come up with new post ideas, so that maybe I can get posting on a more regular basis (seriously, it’s a goal!). Well in my search for new ideas, I figured maybe I should just ask you, my readers, what you’d like to read.

I know from my WordPress stats on just about every site I write on, my most popular post is 100+ Sexual Bucket List Ideas. And don’t worry folks, I am working pretty hard on a follow up post to this, because I know you’ll love it. Don’t hesitate to pop on over to that post and leave your ideas there. But what else would you like to read more of?

What types of blog posts do you generally tend to read? What types of posts would you like to read more of? What types of posts are you most likely to comment on or share with your friends? Any feedback you could give me would be great, so leave your comments below and let me know what kind of posts you’d like to see here on The Rantings of a Tortured Mind.

Thanks in advance to everyone and I’ll also be asking this same question across my social networks, so you can comment there too.


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Checked Off The List…


Today was an incredibly productive day online! I have had a things-I-need-to-get-done-online list percolating for a few days and I’ve had a really hard time concentrating on the stuff. After 12 hours in front of my computer (can’t believe it’s been that long… I just noticed…), give or take a few minutes here or there, I have checked off the biggest things on my list and ended up getting even more than that done!

So all of my work today was Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous-related. First thing I had to work on was the minor design renovations to the site. I had started this a few days ago and then gave up on it for a bit and then re-started yesterday and left it unfinished until today. Finally, I got it done! I even did a few extra things that I hadn’t planned on…

  1. I changed the Navigation menu to now include drop-down menus to more in-depth content. Some of these links take you to internal site pages (on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous), and some of these links take you to external pages such as the new blog or the Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Facebook Fan Page.
  2. I changed up the header. Not only did I make the actual header smaller, but I added an 18+ warning below the navigation menu. It’s a pretty cool little picture:

    Adult

    Slowly getting better with my default Paint program. One day I'll get an actual graphics program...

  3. I added new stuff to the sidebars of almost every single page. You can now donate directly to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, unlocking access codes for the new blog and check out who is online.
So after all that, which took way longer that I expected it to take, I hopped on over to the new blog. Originally I had done this up on Blogger, but became unsatisfied with the labels option, so I switched it over to WordPress, so that I could get Categories and Tags. Seriously got so much done here, considering just yesterday it was a blank canvas.
  • I created every page and every category. Now you can learn more about the blog, check out all of the features, answer questions we have for you or ask your own, learn about subscribing to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous and the forums and much much more!!!
  • On this blog, we have a Members Only section, which offers exclusive content and insider updates, but only for people who have an access code. So first I created a page explaining all the ways in which you can get an access code, which includes:
Which takes me to the last thing, that I spent a large chunk of time on, creating newsletter related stuff. Using my MailChimp account, which Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Donations go towards upgrading as well, I made templates for donors who request access codes, and templates for the Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Newsletter, which also gives out access codes. That probably sounds a lot more complicated than it is, but what do you expect, I’m all happy I accomplished so much.
I’ve also spent some time customizing the @LBAnonymous Twitter account, creating a YouTube account for Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, creating a few different Google Moderator Series and checked out a couple posts on Mashable, because that’s how much of a nerd I am!
Over the next week, I have to:
Now it’s just a matter of getting all my offline stuff done on top of all that, because I’ve been completely sucking at that. If anything, that list has now gotten exceptionally longer. Tomorrow is the day that I plan to deal with all that!
So what have you been getting done online and off?


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Another Cool Piece of the Google Puzzle!


So the other night, after a great deal of a long time of waiting, one of my awesome Twitter followers sent me an invite to Google+. I’ve been hoping it would happen eventually, so I’m more than excited that it did. Needless to say, you can check me out here!

I decided to check out Google on YouTube, which I had never thought to do before. I didn’t even think they would be on YouTube, but they are… Well, jumping from video to video, I discovered probably one of my favorite Google tools yet, and from a blogging perspective, this is the best idea generator in the world!

What do you love?

What Do You Love is essentially like a Google search engine. The only difference is, instead of getting a big long page of search results, you get these cute little boxes that are sort of like search results. Here, I’ll show you what it looks like when I do a search for Human Sexuality:

Human Sexuality Results on What do you love?

Now, of course, if you were searching for something a little more popular, you would probably get more results. But I love that I can access all of the great Google products from this dashboard. From participating in group discussions about human sexuality to finding books and patents regarding human sexuality and after I’ve finished reading other people’s blogs about the topic, I can jump on over to Blogger directly from the page and write my very own post about human sexuality.

Anything you love, you can find a whole whack of information on What Do You Love. Probably even information you probably didn’t know that you were looking for. It’s a dynamic, easy-to-read and exciting search engine. Could it possibly be the future of search?

Conversation Starters

  • Have you ever used What Do You Love?
  • What do you like and dislike about it?
  • Did you just fall more in love with Google, like I did?

Let me know by leaving a comment below!

UPDATE: A few of the things that I love…


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This Week I…


Got these things done:

  • Finally put in an application for Carter’s birth certificate so that I can get child tax benefit for him. Don’t ask why it took me so long…
  • Went down 5 pounds and 3 inches and then gained it all back…
  • Tracked my hours of sleep everyday on sparkpeople.com
  • Took in my TD1 form to work so that I can begin working full-time hours and get a raise (even though I seriously don’t think I need one, full-time is good enough for me!)
  • Started another blog… I know, it’s a horrible addiction. I keep creating and deleting and then creating some more… Ugh! This one has been really great so far though. It’s a blog giving you the latest and greatest from the social networking community I run, Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. My post about how my number one rule when it comes to penis size also applies to social media has proven to be rather popular…
  • I’ve figured out the themes for the next year for the Blog Readers Club on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, though suggestions are always welcome!

Need to Get These Things Done:

  • Take in the daycare papers so that Mom can get paid for all the hard work she’s doing babysitting my brats
  • Hopefully Carter’s birth certificate will arrive and then we can get the other papers filled out
  • Exercise at least 10 minutes a day, and preferably something with a little bit of cardio
  • Get the bathroom clean… Seriously why is this one so hard for me? I used to love to clean bathrooms and now my bathroom just sucks…
  • Get some groceries. We’ve been so hurting for money that groceries have been slim picking and again thank you to my Mom for feeding the kids lots while they’re at her house, so that they’re not as hungry when they get home. Just got to make it until Friday…
  • Get a security clearance from the cop shop…
  • Take library books (that I didn’t finish) and a movie (that is overdue) back to the library…
  • Add more quotes/videos/links to Valerie Rayne’s Randomness

Want To:

  • Go to Mom’s and try to record at least one song to throw up on YouTube, it’s been WAY too freaking long
  • Get through all 450 of my unread items in my Google Reader (add another 100 for everyday that I don’t read it…)
  • Drink more water… I know this should be a NEED TO DO, but I’m a stubborn person, so this is more of a want situation – that way if I don’t get it done, I won’t feel bad, sorta…
  • Clean behind and under the furniture, the pieces I can move anyways. It’s about that time again and normally I let things go a little past their due date when it comes to cleaning. I’d like to get underneath of the computer desk, under the chair and behind the couch all cleaned out…
  • Get 10 more visitors to this blog than I did this time last year, so don’t hesitate to share this blog with your friends by sharing the link —> https://valerieraynerants.wordpress.com/

Conversation Starters

  • So what did you accomplish this week?
  • What are you hoping to get done the rest of the week?
  • Is there anything you’re not looking forward to this week?


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2 Nothing-Compares Moments


There are some things in life that everything else just pales in comparison to. I’ve been fortunate to have some of those experiences, even if I can only look back on it in hindsight. When they were happening, it was hard to really truly tell how wonderful and glorious those experiences were. But now that I know, I’m letting you know!

  1. The first time you hold your baby

    For me, this wasn’t a great experience every time. It often brought on mixed emotions and a lot of confusion and sometimes physical pain, but when I look back on it now, there was nothing more precious.

    Looking into their eyes and smelling them. Playing with their wee little fingers and feeling their body against yours. There’s nothing quite as spectacular.

  2. The moment you realize, “Oh my god! I really love him/her” 

    There’s always a point in a serious relationship, when you have the opportunity to realize how much you love the person. After the initial stages of love where you’re flirting with the idea, and after a few years together, you are hit with the sudden overwhelming confirmation that this is in fact love, deeply and truly.

    This is one of those moments when it literally feels like the whole entire world has drifted away from  you and everything wonderful about the person hits you like a ton of bricks.  You are no longer alone and everything in the world is going to be just fine!

These are only two of life’s most nothing-compares-to-it moments. What would you include in this list? What are some moments in your life that everything else just pales in comparison to? What do you think makes moments like this what they are? Leave your comments below and let me know what you think.


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For Those Who Don’t Know: Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous


As some of you may know, I not only write this blog, but I also write a blog full of my favorite randomness and I am the Administrator of a social network. Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is a free online social networking community for adult, lifestyle and sex bloggers (yes, I count myself in that category…).

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous offers a variety of features all aimed to help you connect with other adult bloggers. Even if you aren’t interested in actually starting your own adult blog, you’ll be able to discover new blogs to read, get great blogging tips and tricks, and be able to connect with your favorite bloggers.

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is 100% FREE and will never cost you a cent, unless you choose to donate to the site. All donations go straight back into the site and you get to choose the amount to donate.

In this post, I’m going to outline some of the features of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous as well as highlight some of my favorite groups, discussions and blog posts. Please feel free to browse around the site and definitely don’t hestitate to become a member today!

The LBA Blog

As a non-member you can read the blog. Once you become a member, you unlock the ability to begin writing your very own blog entires on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous.

Our blog has an integrated comment system and the ability to share posts via Twitter and Facebook. Easily post to the blog with a Rich Text Editor, or if you’re feeling a little adventurous switch over to HTML mode*. Currently, we offer a total of 10 categories which include:

Recently, I’ve written a few different posts on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. They include two erotic fantasies, Caged Cuckold and One Chore: The Dishes. I also highlighted my posts on sexual bucket lists, An Intro to Sexual Bucket Lists and 100+ Sexual Bucket List Ideas and my personal favorite 6 Crazy Sex Laws – Past & Present.

If you have any other blog category ideas, please stop by the Suggestion Box and let your voice be heard! To begin writing  your own blog on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, become a member today!

The LBA Forums

If you’re looking to have discussions on just about any topic with just about anyone, the forums are the place to go. Non-members have limited access to the forums and can only see the General Discussions forum. Members, however, are given access to all the forums which includes For The Bloggers, Sexuality & You and BDSM & Fetishes (again, suggestions are greatly appreciated!). Each of these forum categories have a variety of sub-categories and even more topics within. Here are some of the best discussions right now:

Of course, this is just some of my personal favorites from Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. There are many more discussions happening and many more waiting to be had. So what are you waiting for? Become a member today to start participating in lively discussions on blogging, sexuality, BDSM and fetishes!

The LBA Groups

If you’ve ever wanted to connect with like-minded adult bloggers, groups are definitely the way to go! Groups are a great way to gather individuals on a niche topic. First and foremost, I strongly suggest that any member of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous joins our official group. All the latest site updates and announcements are posted there. As a non-member, you can see what we have to offer for groups, but as a member not only can you join groups that have already been created, you can also start your very own niche group.

Currently, these are the groups that you can find on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous:

Kinky in CanadaKinky in Canada

Canadian kinksters come together in this group. Whether your from the East or the West, you can connect with other Canadians. If you’re from Alberta, like me, then check out the Alberta Connect topics to meet other Albertan.

The Big "O"The Big “O”

Lovers of orgasms unite in this group where we’re sharing orgasm tips, facts and experiences.

FetLifersFetLifers

If you’re a member of the best social networking site for kinksters, by kinksters, then join this group and connect with other FetLifers.

Erotic WritersErotic Writers

If you write erotic poems, stories or songs, join this group to mingle with other erotic writers. Get inspired, get motivated, get writing!

For Women OnlyFor Women Only

Of course I made this group!! NO BOYS ALLOWED!  Women, let’s get together and have a chat, okay? Let’s talk about all the things us girls talk about, okay? If you’re into that, then join this group!

I’m always looking for suggestions for new groups, so if you’ve got any that you think would be a great addition, either become a member of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous and create them yourself, or leave a comment to this post and I’ll see what I can do!

Some of the other features we offer include photos, videos and a chat room. You can upload your own photos to the site if you’re a member, though please be sure to read the Community Guidelines first! You can also share videos from popular video sharing sites such as YouTube and Vimeo. Again, we’re always open to suggestion but so far the video categories include:

Here’s one of my favorite videos on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. It’s from a Canadian group called The Wet Spots, who I’ve become more and more obsessed with. Be sure to check out the bottom of this post for another awesome video!

At the moment, the chat room is usually pretty dead. Although, you can make it so you can chat to your Facebook friends without ever leaving Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. That all being said, there are plans in the works to start doing scheduled chats a few nights a week. There is even a discussion going on in the Suggestion Box about it.

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is also elsewhere around the web. Firstly, we’re on Facebook! “Like” our fan page to get site updates, participate in all sorts of conversations and get the chance to see exclusive content. You can also follow me, @blogaholica, on Twitter to get LBA updates.

So, if you didn’t know about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, you do now! To summarize, it’s a free online social networking community for lifestyle, adult and sex bloggers and I would love it if you would check it out and if you feel compelled, become a member today! If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hestitate to leave your comments below or contact me. Thanks for checking it out!

And here’s the other video I promised, the first episode of The Adventures of Penis and Vagina. A comedic look at the discovery of anal sex!

Conversation Starters

  • Would you become a member of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous? Why or why not?
  • Do you consider yourself an adult, lifestyle or sex blogger?
  • What did you think of The Wet Spots? Did you look at more of their videos on YouTube?


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Ramblings…


Today has been an overwhelming and stressful day. It started when I woke up this morning. I had forgotten that I didn’t work until after noon today because Kaeidyn had her assembly, so when the alarm went off, I was sure that it was going to be another morning of rushing around to get everyone ready to go. I come running up the stairs, sure that I’m going to be pressed for time, when I realized that today wasn’t the day.

Then, I went into work late today because Kaeidyn had this big year-end assembly that she really wanted me to go to. It was a lot of fun, though I think I’ve decided that they boys need to stay home on days like that. The principal ended up asking me to take Carter outside because he was being too loud. Luckily my Mom was there, so she took Carter outside so that I could enjoy the rest of the assembly. And I did. She was very cute and I love listening to her sing.

I’m so much like my Mom that way. I always hated it growing up. But the second any of the kids starts to sing, I automatically tear up. I just always find it to be so adorable and it makes my heart feel good. I played guitar and sang during all of my pregnancies, and when they were babies, I would play guitar and let them sit with me. It means a lot to me that they are musical, just like their Mom.

Then I went into work, and it was just crazy busy. Not because it actually is crazy busy, but because we’re currently short on cleaners and when that happens, it feels like it’s hectic and like everything is a huge rush. The good thing is, I’m pretty good at prioritizing and keeping level-headed AT WORK – because I suck at it at home…

The biggest part of my stresses today is talking to my Mom. She tends to be my continual reality slap to the face. And while that’s one of the biggest things that I appreciate about her, in the moment of the slap, it’s hard for me to remember that I really appreciate it and instead it just brings me down. It doesn’t help that at the time I see it as her adding more things to my already full plate. I know she does it for my own good, and like she said today, I’ve “had to go through worse”, it just sucks.

I have so much to do, and so little desire/time to do it with/in, and it just feels like it’s way more than it actually is. I hate how the household and family stress -things like finances, discipline, school, babysitters, cleaning, things that need to be bought – tend to build up over a few weeks and you feel like you can handle it because you have time. Then it gets to the day when you feel like it’s overwhelming and all that building up hits like a ton of bricks. And it makes that one bad day carry on over multiple days and just as you feel like everything is back on track and “normal” again, it starts to build up again. It makes it more exhausting than anything. I have no idea if any of that made any sense…

I have a ton of phone calls to make. Originally I was supposed to make them tomorrow, but I’m probably going to have to work all day tomorrow, so I’ll have to make them on Monday. It’s not even really a ton, it just feels that way because it’s things I don’t want to deal with. That I have a lot of anger about having to deal with it.

I have some big decisions to make regarding the kids and Alfie, because things aren’t so good in that department. I don’t want to go into full out details, because I’m still trying to figure out what parts of it are my true feelings and which ones are the parts that are leftover hurt and anger. It’s extremely complicated and even harder to explain. I’m still in, what I’m sure is called, the healing process. And it’s a horrible time for me to have to make important decisions regarding my kids and their Dad. Because it’s just a mixture of all types of negative emotions that I’m still working on coming to terms with. I don’t want to be the type of parent who lets my own emotions negatively impact my kids relationship with their other parent. I want them to come to their own conclusions about whether or no he’s a good Dad and whether or not he’s worthy of them. But they are not old enough for that. They are still learning what is right and wrong, and unfortunately I’m still trying to define that for myself and therefore, for them.

It’s such a complicated thing. I hope I didn’t confuse you too much there… Like I said, it’s been an overwhelming and stressful day. I am so lucky to have The Boyfriend though, and I’ve really been shown that this past week. Today was absolutely the best, because he knew that I was beyond stressed almost the minute I walked through the door and he sat there so nicely and just listened to me ramble on and on about all the stress. When I was done, he offered his two cents and let me ramble on and on about his two cents and he was so calm and patient and understanding. I’m just really lucky to have a guy that listens to me.

During my stressed-out-rant, I kept saying, “I wish I could just figure out one thing that was a good de-stressor” and after venting to him, I realized he is my de-stressor. He just makes me feel good and I’ve never felt like I needed to question whether he loved me or not, and that’s a very powerful thing for me. I just really love that guy!

So, how has your week been? Any big stressors on your end? How have you dealt with your stress? Did you try any new stress techniques recently? Let’s do a poll about stress, shall we?