The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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My Week in Facebook Status Updates


August 20th, 2012:

“Aww my man is so sweet! I was craving listening to The Puppini Sisters, but our stereo was set up in the wrong spot, so he moved it first thing this morning for me. Stopped all my complaining dead in it’s tracks ;)”

August 19th, 2012:

“What a crazy day today. Made a wicked dinner, which included Cheddar Havarti Mashed Potatoes (thank you very much Cahlen), then taught Kaeidyn how to shave her legs so that she’d stop plucking all her hair out with tweezers and finally, used a freezie to make Carter feel better after he slammed his little man between the toilet lid and seat…

Is it bedtime yet?!?”

August 18th, 2012:

“They need to make a blow dryer that is completely silent so that I don’t wake anyone up blow drying my long ass hair… It’s the only way to brush it easily after washing it now…”

August 17th, 2012:

“So excited that we’re going shopping today. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to get groceries in my entire life! Kids have gone out to watch The Lorax and Carter is resting on the bed, so now it’s time for me to power clean my house and see if I can’t get another load of laundry done. It takes so long…”

August 16th, 2012:

“It only took about 8 years, but one of my kids finally had to go in to get stitches. Carter’s now got 2 of them on his head…”

August 15th, 2012:

“Hate that The Boyfriend has to go to work tonight, because I would so much rather just sit and cuddle and watch MI-5. Going to be a long night…”

August 14th, 2012:

“Well, made all my phonecalls that I needed to make today. Gotta get another load of dishes and laundry done and then going out with my Mom for a little bit and then I get to come home and put my feet up, feeling very accomplished! Off I go, hi ho hi ho!”

August 13th, 2012:

“It only took forever and a day, but I am finally back online and super happy to be back!!”

And now to let you all know here first, that I’m thinking about shutting down my Facebook Fan Page since I’m not really using it and instead just use my Facebook profile. Thoughts?


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I Hate Weekends!!


Okay, I’m lying. For the most part, I love weekends. But today, I hate weekends. It’s amazing how fast a person will forget how hard labor is, but it’s even more amazing how easy and fast I forget how hard doing these 4 kids alone is. It’s only been a couple weeks since I did a day alone with them, but today was intense!

I woke up and felt like I had already been angry with them for hours. The Boyfriend was all pouty last night thinking about me getting to sleep in this morning and I’m happy and mad to report that that definitely didn’t happen. Actually, I was up almost a whole 20 minutes earlier than I normally wake up on work days… Then it was nothing but a rough day.

I watched a couple movies today that made me bawl my eyes out. It was kind of nice, because normally if The Boyfriend’s around, I just tear up, no actual crying. And it’s not because I hold back or anything like that, it just doesn’t happen. But when he’s not around, I seem to bawl like a baby the second a movie gets even slightly emotional.

The other night, we watched Marley & Me with the kids and while I teared up during the movie, not a single tear. Kaeidyn on the other hand broke down and could not stop crying. It started with a single tear and as soon as the credits hit, she sat up, cuddled in really close and had a really great cry about how she didn’t like when Marley died and how she didn’t want it to happen to Grandma’s dog.

The Boyfriend and I have been working on getting the kitchen clean since we went for a good grocery shop last night. I finally got the dishes done, and there surprising wasn’t as many as I had originally thought, so that made me much happier. It’s also a relief when getting The Boyfriend to help is absolutely no problem – not that it normally is a problem, he’s typically very good for just doing whatever it is I tell him, but yesterday made it much easier for me to get up off my butt. Now if only we could keep it clean. Here’s hoping!

I’ve been working really hard on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous-related stuff the last couple of days. You’ll notice at the top of the sidebar a link to download my special report on 10 Ways to Generate Blog Post Ideas for Sex & Adult Bloggers which I wrote for Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. I’ve also been working extra hard on writing up draft posts for the new Updates from the Head Blog-A-Holic, which brings you the latest and greatest updates from Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. You can check it out, right now it’s just pages, but I’ll definitely let you know when it launches, which will be really soon!

The Boyfriend and I agreed today that no matter what, by this summer we’re upgrading the site. I’m looking forward to finally being able to utilize a lot of the features that I haven’t been able to to really make this site what I want it to be. I’m excited for the whole thing. And hopefully with the increased member capacity, more people will join and participate! Seriously getting sick of talking to myself so much…

Well, I guess that’s essentially my update for the day. How’s your week been going? Anybody watching any really great movies on Netflix that I should know about? I’m always looking for suggestions!


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Coding Rant


Okay, so I taught myself HTML when I was 14. I would spend all the time that I got on the computer, teaching myself HTML. I would write it out on paper so that I could see it as a whole, I would print it off and dissect it, I would write it out and then tweak it until it was just right.

It took me quite awhile to learn HTML, but now I think I know HTML pretty darn well. There’s still certain things that I have to jump back and reference (especially anything to do with color codes…), and I wouldn’t ever try to sell my HTML services, because I don’t think it’s that good. But I think I’ve got a really well-defined grasp of the stuff. Enough that I should be able to go over and learn CSS.

Sidenote:
For anyone who is like, “What the hell are you talking about?!?”, HTML and CSS are two types of code that determine how a website or blog look – the most basic description I know.

Hypertext Markup Language (HTML) is a markup language that describes web pages using what are called markup or HTML tags. Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) were created to fill the void that HTML left behind, the design.

HTML was never meant to take on the role of designer, and when they added the design capabilities to HTML 3.2, like font color or link color, it created more problems than it solved. For a one or two page site with very little content on it, changing font sizes or colors wasn’t very hard. But once you got into larger website development, like most of us are used to today, with ever changing content on it, having to go in and manually change those font colors or sizes was time-consuming, often costing people a lot of money, and also adding more size to the page causing it to take longer to load. CSS was created to solve these problems.

My rant is that, I can’t learn CSS. I have been trying for almost ten years and for some reason, I can’t get it to register, I can’t get it to stick. I keep reading in countless coding forums, “Just inspect the element and you should be able to pick it up”. So I spend hours going through multiple websites, inspecting the code and trying to replicate it.

I get all excited because I hop on over to my trusty W3schools website, to take my newly learnt CSS coding for a spin on the Try It! Editor. The worst part is, I can get it to work there. I can screw around with it and play with it and it still works, but the second I leave that site and try it anywhere else, I am more than confused. I can’t even figure out what it is about it that is so darn confusing for me.

I have gone through and tried to learn from just about every single angle. I want to know how to make a horizontal drop-down navigation menu (much like the one I have at the top of this blog), and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to figure out how to make it work.

I just hate when people who know CSS are like, “Oh, it’s so easy!”. It frustrates the hell out of me, because I’m like, “If it’s so easy, why can’t I learn it?”. One day, I am going to hunker down and just figure it out. Until them, I’m just going to continue being frustrated that it’s easy for others. ARGH!

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Some of My Posts on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous


I’ve been working really hard on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous lately and have written a couple blog posts that I’d love for you to check out and leave your feedback on. I’ve been trying really hard to write more about blogging, though it’s not as easy as it seems!

You can always check out my latest blog posts on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous by visiting my blog page. So, here’s some of the posts that I’ve been doing:

  • 10 Songs About Blogging and the Internet
    Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous finally jumped on the YouTube bandwagon!! To commemorate, here are 10 YouTube videos that features blogging, the internet, Twitter and Facebook.
  • 800+ Post Ideas for Your Blog
     Days of scouring the internet has resulted in the most comprehensive list of blog post ideas on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Take these ideas, apply them to your blog, and you’ll have enough posts to last you 2 1/2 years, assuming you post everyday!
  • 7 Tips for a Mind-Boggling Orgasm
     These 7 tips are sure to help you reach a mind-boggling, leg-shaking, face-numbing, body-floating orgasm! I’ll give you a sneak peak at 3 of the tips:

    • Get Naked
    • Foreplay First
    • Don’t Take Things Too Seriously
  • My Top 5 Blogging Tips
    What every blogger should know! 5 of my best blogging tips including facts and statistics like “readers are 56% more likely to click on a blue link“.
  • One Chore: The Dishes
    I have two erotic stories/fantasies written on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. This one is about domestic discipline, which is also a forum topic. My other erotic story/fantasy on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is Caged Cuckold which, you guessed it, is all about cuckoldry.

So there’s some of my favorite blog posts that I’ve written on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Leave a comment and let me know which one is your favorite and if you haven’t become a member on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous yet, you should!


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Trying Not to Feel At All Defeated…


Sometimes, all my online work seems to be such a waste of time. I hate to be kind of a party pooper here, but I feel like I’m working so hard on all this stuff sometimes for nobody’s benefit but mine. And while that would be fine if my blogging goals were the same as they were a year ago or four years ago, times and goals have changed. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be whining right now.

I’d still be going on about, “I’m writing for me!”, instead of creating social networks in the hopes of making some sort of epic connection with another great adult blogger… Yes, you guessed it, this is 100% about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, which I’ve been working so hard at, that I have two little perfect circles on my lap from where my laptop gets really hot when I leave it on for 12 hours straight!!

There are 17 members on the site right now, and only 1 of those members actually participated on the site and that’s because she’s my sister (not an adult blogger) and because I practically begged her! To try to keep member participation up, I decided to create Community Guidelines that made where after 3 months of inactivity, members could have their sites deactivated…

Scary statistic: 65% of members have NOT been active in the last 3 months. So, I sent out notices to those members saying that their accounts were at risk of being terminated. This was mostly for practicality purposes, being that currently I’m using the free version of Spruz, which only allows me to have 50 members.

But then I sort of chickened out. I don’t want to be mean to these potential members, even if they’re not participating. It feels good to be able to say that, including myself, there are 17 members on a social network I maintain. I’m happy that something lured 16 people into joining Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous… Needless to say, I’m reconsidering…

I’ve just been working so much harder than I had ever intended for a website. I’ve been stepping out of my networking comfort levels like crazy, because I really want this site to be something to someone other than me. I’m normally the type of person who won’t go out of my way to talk to people in real life, let alone get up the nerve to speak out online.

I’ve been doing so much of what some of my blogging idols tell you to do (ie., Problogger and Mashable), and it all seems to fall short. I’ve been commenting on people’s blogs (though I’m peeved that I can’t figure out how to comment on Ask Dan and Jennifer, because some of their stuff just grinds on my nerves), I’ve been posting other people’s links on Twitter and even mentioning people more and more (on the Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Twitter). I’ve been seeking out new blogs like a mad man and mostly, I’ve been crazy hard at work on content for Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous.

And no one seems to be participating. I got one mention on Twitter from the blogger of a blog that I tweeted out, and that was really exciting and I went off about it for awhile. But I wouldn’t say it’s participation… Here’s the tweet:

http://twitter.com/#!/LearningDD/status/98984709773733888

I’ve been adding stuff to the Facebook Fan page at least once a day, and none of the 4 fans have commented, I’ve had a couple of votes on questions after I posted them on my personal wall, but no new “likes” in months and not very much commenting or sharing, outside of me.

While I have had 3 members join Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous in the last month, I was disappointed today when I discovered that the bounce rate on the site is at about 85%, which isn’t good and definitely doesn’t meet my goals. Oh, now you want to know what my goals are? Well, that’s a little bit harder to explain, because I’m still trying to define what’s realistic…

I read a few blogs about blogging. Mostly from bloggers who do not need to work outside of the home, because they make enough money just blogging. Normally bloggers who have views on their blogs that are 10 times what I have on any of my blogs. A lot of them who promote their stuff and people eat it up like it’s steak, potatoes and gravy! I’m unsure if those types of things are even possible for adult bloggers, unless they do porn on the side…

So far I know that:

  • I want to have an average of 10 visitors each day, 2 of those being returning visitors
  • I want the average time on the site to be at least 10 minutes
  • I’d like a bounce rate under 50%
  • I’d like people to visit an average of 3 pages when they visit
  • I’d like 3 members, outside of my sister, to be truly active on the site
  • I’d like all the members to change their profile photos
  • I’d like to get some interaction going on both Facebook and Twitter
  • I’d like to make at least one connection with one other blogger that I find to be meaningful in some way…
Now, I need to figure out what it is exactly that I’m not doing right to be able to achieve these goals and that’s being so hard for me. When I’m getting no real response to all the hard work that I’m doing, it’s very hard to get motivated enough to go and add discussions to a speechless forum, or create a group that nobody will join, or write a blog post that no one cares enough about to share or comment on or visit more than once..
Don’t worry though, this is just a rant and I’m still working. I’ve come to realize that this kind of thing is a struggle for every blogger, just more so for some than others. It’s a hump and I’ll get over it eventually. It’s not like I’ve been doing all these things for a SUPER long time, so I’ll give it some more time. Just cross your fingers for me that it gets better…
Love,
Just another struggling blogger


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Brain Freeze


I have been having the hardest time this last week with my brain. We’ve been fighting all the time and I swear it’s making me lose a few IQ points. If I could remove it, without any pain, I probably would because I’m starting to get annoyed with it now.

It started with doing a minor re-design of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. That was the thing that made all this happen. I worked my butt off on it for 2 days straight and finally completed it and was all proud of myself for getting so much accomplished.

Of course, when it comes to this blogging life of mine, checking off 2 or 3 things from your to do list, only adds about 2 or 3 more things that eventually need to get done. I’m not good with goals of any kind, seriously! I keep coming up with things that I want to do and how I want to do them, and then it comes time to get them done and I just can’t.

I’ve spent the last 2 days,  mostly just staring at my computer screen. Attempting to loosen up this extreme mental blockage I’ve got going on. I’m having no problem coming up with ideas, pages and pages of ideas, it’s implementing them that has become a problem.

I hate times like this the most for what they do to my creative self-esteem. Most of the time, I consider myself to be a very creative person. Maybe not as creative as some people, but pretty darn creative. But when these mental farts come sneaking up on me, I start doubting how creative I actually am. And that probably gives me the most hassle, that doubt.

I’ve tried a few different things to get me out of the rut that I’m in, but none of it seems to be working. From doodling, which normally does me really good, to going for walks and reading tons of other blogs. But it just doesn’t get my mental juices flowing enough to do more than come up with ideas. Hopefully that will change and hopefully it’ll change soon.

I should start tracking when these mental blockages begin happening, that way I can plan my schedule accordingly. Like if I knew that the 3rd Tuesday of every month was going to be a brain-bunged-up kind of day, then I make where that day I had a post scheduled to go out or something… A back up plan.

So, to anyone else who might read my blog and writes their own blog, what do you do when you’re trying to get over writer’s block? What are some of the things that you have tried to unblock yourself? Do you have a pattern of productivity vs. slacker-ville?