The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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This Was… My Week…


I keep coming on here to write, and then I open up the new post window and just sit there staring at the screen. It’s become very annoying, so I’ve decided, I’m just going to write and see where this ends up…

Work this week was pretty rough. It’s month-end, so that automatically means it’s going to be rougher than usual, because it feels like you’re rushing around like a chicken with your head cut off to make sure you get all your work done by the deadline. But it’s also rougher because my boss doesn’t take the pressure of the whole month-end very well. It also seems to be the part of the month that he understands the least about, because I seem to have to explain every move I make.

It didn’t help that he kept trying to blame all his mistakes on me, like two contractors getting sent out for the same job. He tried saying that was my fault for “not communicating” with him, but really it was because he didn’t bother to look at the very last service order that was created. It’s harsh working with so many people who don’t know how to use our software and aren’t even willing to learn how. We could be utilizing that system so differently and making everything so much better and smoother, but instead, we’re just continuing using it as if it’s a brand new program to us… And it’s not.

The Boyfriend just finished up a week-long holiday and went back to work this morning. The holiday was totally needed and I’m glad that his boss practically forced him to take it. While it was mostly a week full of relaxation for him (jealous!), it was nice to have him home that much. It was nice not having him exhausted at the end of the day because of work, but instead because he had stayed up too late the night before or because he didn’t sleep in as much as he had hoped.

It’s his birthday today!! My man’s officially the same age as me for the next nine months. No plans unfortunately for his birthday, though that’s not really new for any of us. We aren’t really the planning type. I might try to go pick him up an ice cream cake later when my Mom brings the older kids home from their sleepover. Nothing goes better with birthdays than ice cream cake 😉

Kaeidyn and Kenzie have both been having pretty tough weeks at school for the last little while. It started with Kaeidyn, constantly complaining of stomach aches and ending up staying home from school or going to the sick room at school through the day. We finally talked about that and ever since she hasn’t missed a day. I still have no idea what was going on there at all, but at least she’s going to school now without a huge fight. Kenzie’s issues only started a few days ago when him and some boys were playing in his class and one of the boys accidentally threw a car at his head. The next day, for the first time ever, he got put in the thinking chair at school and was terribly upset about it. First time ever that he’s walked out of school crying…

The beginning of the year went so great, outside of a few small issues with Kaeidyn’s teacher, but now it seems like it’s a fight everyday to send them to school. I hate when I don’t have control over what’s happening to them in a day and I’m not there to see what’s happening and therefore can’t better help them process their emotions and feelings about things that are happening to them. And I absolutely despise my first reaction when I hear about any issues at school, because at first I feel like I come off blaming them for the problem and being automatically hard on them instead of comforting. I feel like I have to remind myself that I’m their Mom and they are just kids. It makes any issues that are happening without me there that much harder to deal with.

Keirnan and Carter spent a majority of the last week alone together. And honestly, it was such a great idea on my Mom’s part. They are getting along so much better now than they were prior to the last week. I wouldn’t say that they were getting along badly, it was just they always seemed to be in each other’s space. Carter would go to play with a car and suddenly Keirnan would decide he’s playing with it. Keirnan would be sitting quietly doing something and Carter would come up behind him and start climbing all over him. Just normal brotherly stuff, I suppose. But spending that week together without their older siblings around very much at all, really seemed to separate them up a little bit better and now you’ll often find them on opposite ends of the room, doing their own thing.

Other than that, it’s been a pretty quiet week around here. I’ve been working on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, the kids have been watching Netflix or playing video games and The Boyfriend’s been working on The Moham Chronicles (his science fiction/fantasy book) and video games. That’s our week in a nutshell. How was your week?


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I Hate Weekends!!


Okay, I’m lying. For the most part, I love weekends. But today, I hate weekends. It’s amazing how fast a person will forget how hard labor is, but it’s even more amazing how easy and fast I forget how hard doing these 4 kids alone is. It’s only been a couple weeks since I did a day alone with them, but today was intense!

I woke up and felt like I had already been angry with them for hours. The Boyfriend was all pouty last night thinking about me getting to sleep in this morning and I’m happy and mad to report that that definitely didn’t happen. Actually, I was up almost a whole 20 minutes earlier than I normally wake up on work days… Then it was nothing but a rough day.

I watched a couple movies today that made me bawl my eyes out. It was kind of nice, because normally if The Boyfriend’s around, I just tear up, no actual crying. And it’s not because I hold back or anything like that, it just doesn’t happen. But when he’s not around, I seem to bawl like a baby the second a movie gets even slightly emotional.

The other night, we watched Marley & Me with the kids and while I teared up during the movie, not a single tear. Kaeidyn on the other hand broke down and could not stop crying. It started with a single tear and as soon as the credits hit, she sat up, cuddled in really close and had a really great cry about how she didn’t like when Marley died and how she didn’t want it to happen to Grandma’s dog.

The Boyfriend and I have been working on getting the kitchen clean since we went for a good grocery shop last night. I finally got the dishes done, and there surprising wasn’t as many as I had originally thought, so that made me much happier. It’s also a relief when getting The Boyfriend to help is absolutely no problem – not that it normally is a problem, he’s typically very good for just doing whatever it is I tell him, but yesterday made it much easier for me to get up off my butt. Now if only we could keep it clean. Here’s hoping!

I’ve been working really hard on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous-related stuff the last couple of days. You’ll notice at the top of the sidebar a link to download my special report on 10 Ways to Generate Blog Post Ideas for Sex & Adult Bloggers which I wrote for Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. I’ve also been working extra hard on writing up draft posts for the new Updates from the Head Blog-A-Holic, which brings you the latest and greatest updates from Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. You can check it out, right now it’s just pages, but I’ll definitely let you know when it launches, which will be really soon!

The Boyfriend and I agreed today that no matter what, by this summer we’re upgrading the site. I’m looking forward to finally being able to utilize a lot of the features that I haven’t been able to to really make this site what I want it to be. I’m excited for the whole thing. And hopefully with the increased member capacity, more people will join and participate! Seriously getting sick of talking to myself so much…

Well, I guess that’s essentially my update for the day. How’s your week been going? Anybody watching any really great movies on Netflix that I should know about? I’m always looking for suggestions!


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The Best TV Shows on Netflix


Right before Christmas, my Mom helped us out in getting Netflix. We haven’t had cable in quite a long time because we decided it wasn’t worth the cost with how little TV we were actually watching, but buying movies every couple of weeks was getting to be pretty pricey too. Netflix was a really great option for us and now we couldn’t be happier that we have it.

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Wastes is Kind of Harsh…


Well, I’ve already failed at one resolution for the year… I was planning on blogging everyday in January and here it is, the fourth day of the month, and I’m finally writing a post! I suck at resolutions, what can I say? I just haven’t been spending much time working on this blog lately.

First of all, I’ve been watching TONS of TV. On one hand, Netflix is freaking amazing and perfect for us being that we aren’t interested in getting cable. But on the other hand, it sure wastes a lot of time. Wastes is kind of harsh. But it takes up a lot of my time. Especially right now, because I’ve become very very interested in Mad Men.

I had never watched it all the time it was on TV. I caught one part of one episode and decided I didn’t want to watch anymore. But when I saw that Netflix had it, I decided I was going to watch it. The first and second season, I could’ve done without. But now I’m on the fourth season and I seriously can’t get enough of it. I get home about an hour before The Boyfriend does and I am literally itching to watch it by the time he gets home. Then we spend the next 4 hours doing nothing but watching Mad Men. I’m really truly loving it.

And then when I do get on the computer lately, my focus is 100% on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. I’m really looking forward to this upcoming year on the site, and I think if I can execute some of the ideas I have, it’s going to be that much more amazing! My number one goal on there this year is to get the site upgraded, with video uploading and chat rooms. I’ve also got some big ideas for making connections with my blogging idols, so I’m definitely excited about it.

We’ve also been doing quite a bit of cleaning lately, though you can hardly tell at all, which just totally bugs me. I spend a good two hours on the living room and it’s wiped up in only a few hours. Then it looks exactly like it did before. Just the other night, The Boyfriend and I finally tackled the bathroom and today, you can’t tell at all. The only thing that looks different is that there aren’t clothes all across the floor, which makes a difference, but not enough of one for me to care about it…

Well, I think that’s all I’ve got to say today unfortunately… Hopefully I will be back posting tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me 😉


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Merry Christmas Eve!!


It’s officially that time of the year again! Except this year, all the kids will be with me and The Boyfriend and that’s very exciting for me. We went a little bit overboard with the gift buying this year, though we didn’t realize this until we were sitting up until 3 AM last night wrapping presents.

We’re going over the my Mom’s tonight and spending the night to be able to open presents in the morning with my kids and my sister’s kids. It’s going to be a very crowded and probably mostly uncomfortable night, but it will most likely bring back memories of Christmas past. I’m hoping for the best!  I’m excited about getting to see my sister, and the kids are excited about getting to see their cousins. It’s too bad we don’t get to see them more…

So, wrapping presents was a total gong show! I wouldn’t say I’m the worst Christmas present wrapper in the world, but it’s definitely very frustrating. The entire time, I kept telling The Boyfriend, “Don’t think this is any reflection on my creative ability!”, because it seemed to just get harder and harder. Especially with all the odd shaped gifts we got this year, from a sort of octagonal shaped looking thing, to a completely round gift, let me tell you this, it was NOT easy! On multiple occasions, I was more than ready to throw in the towel. But, it’s all done now. I think by the time we had finished, we had wrapped 18 or some odd gifts!

The kids better be darn grateful is all I can say about that! This is going to be by far one of the best year for presents for them, they better appreciate it. Especially being that they haven’t been that appreciative of much at all this year. All night last night, I just kept thinking they didn’t deserve to be so spoiled when they haven’t been very well behaved lately. But I don’t think that’s the Christmas spirit… Too bad!

We went to the kids Christmas concert the other night, and that was a rather interesting experience. This year, they held it at a church, which I had a lot of issues with. I was so nervous about going into a church after 10ish years of not being a church. Not sure why I was nervous, but almost as soon as we pulled into the parking lot I felt incredibly nauseous. I got over it once the concert started, and hardly even noticed we were in church. I’m waiting for my Mom to send me the videos and pictures of that one, and then you bet your butt, I’ll be showing off!

We had our Christmas lunch at work on Thursday and that was awesome. It was very spur of the moment, and we ended up having Chinese food, which I really wasn’t excited about. It ended up being a much better experience than I had expected. First of all, I didn’t hate Chinese food. The smell was a little much, but I really liked the dough on the chicken balls and I love broccoli and beef. Other than that, I didn’t really try much. We did a little gift exchange where we re-gifted things we already had and then wrote hints on the cards, drew numbers for a plastic container and then one-by-one picked gifts. I landed me a pretty sweet picture of Marilyn Monroe, which I thought was pretty wicked! And now I finally have something to put up in my bathroom!!

Other than that, my week has been filled with Netflix watching (again, thanks to my Mom) and listening to The Wailin’ Jennys, who I’ve officially decided I love more than anything! I’ve even decided on the song I want playing at my funeral… But that’s for another post. I’ve been watching a heck of a lot of Mad Men lately, and so far I’m really loving it, though I kind of knew I would. I think I’m on Season 2 right now. I just started watching Huff and am impatiently awaiting Season 3 of The Big C – which is an absolutely epic show! I haven’t seen season finale’s done that good since ER!!

Well, I think that’s pretty much all I’ve got for today. Check back on the 1st for my New Year’s Resolutions and you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and absolutely Happy Holidays! From my family to yours!