The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

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Maybe It’s The Weather…


I cannot tell you what has gotten into The Boyfriend, but something is definitely changing. Maybe it’s the 12 pounds I’ve lost (although I’d like to think he’s not that shallow) or maybe it’s the warmer weather, maybe it’s that he’s dealing with the stresses of work life better or maybe it’s something else entirely, but I can honestly not remember the last time we had as much sex as we’re having nor can I remember the last time that we both hated being away from each other – we’re literally attached at the hip!

He’s been coming home from work on his lunch break, just so that he can hang out with me and he even takes Keirnan to school for me, so that I only have to make that trek once a day. He’s been a real sweetheart lately, from letting me hog the TV because my body is aching so bad that I don’t want to come on the computer, to letting me play video games even when he’s been craving them all day, to making dinner more than once this week and he even bought me an early Mother’s Day present – one that I’ve been wanting for years!

Then, the sex… There has been so much of it, in so many different ways, I have not wanted for nothing. There have been some disappointing moments, which I’ll get into momentarily, but for the most part, it’s been almost two weeks now of incredible sex every single day, sometimes multiple times a day. And I have no idea what’s going on but I’m not about to complain.

It started on one of his days off, that wasn’t a planned day off. He had gone to the store and when he got back, he made mention of something sexual. I had worn a skirt this day and the idea of that seemed to really excite him. That’s not really a surprise, because he has a strong affection for my legs, but it doesn’t normally make him all ready and raring to go. He came and sat on the couch beside me and slid his hand up my leg as he revealed the perverse thoughts he had on the way to and from the store. I giggled, as I usually do when he talks about these sexual visions of his, but my giggle was cut short by a sudden gasp as he roughly slid his fingers into me.

It took him no time at all to bring me to that first orgasm and I was almost shocked at how fast it had gone. After I was done, he seemed like he was going off to do his own thing, but he came out of the bathroom and said, “You wouldn’t want to sit on my cock, would you?”. He sat down and I straddled him and almost as soon as we started, we were both covered in sweat – his beading down his forehead, mine collecting in the middle of my back. He shoved his head in between my breasts, as I rhythmically bucked my hips wildly back and forth on him. His hands were on the top of my skirt, pulling at it to direct me this way and that on top of him. We collapsed in each other’s arms as the last ripples of orgasm waved over us and as we caught our breath discussed what we loved about that particular session and how much we couldn’t wait to repeat it later on that night, being that this was midday sex.

One night, we had a beautiful mutual masturbation session. He is getting way more skilled with his fingers than he ever has been before, which has resulted in a lot of speedy orgasms on my part – something that is brand new and totally foreign for us. I’m not sure what he’s doing differently, but he says that he’s definitely doing something different. He believes he’s just gotten to know more of what I like and based on the way he’s been playing with things, I’d say he’s incredibly right! I think the thing that made this particular session so beautiful was the timing of it all. We came within seconds of each other and it still had the intimately connected feeling that our sex seems to get so damn right.

Even last night, he was exhausted and more than ready for bed, but still had enough energy for a parting shot. It started out looking like it was just going to be another mutual masturbation session, which I was totally okay with. But after a few moments, he asked rather politely, “Do you think you can make yourself cum if I’m inside you?”, I excitedly responded, “I’ll sure as hell try” and in no time at all, we were both having our orgasms and it was just all around a great time. Based on his lunch break today, I don’t think this particular streak is going to end until at least after the weekend… So, happy weekend for me.

The one big disappointing evening, even though I quickly turned it around so that it didn’t become a huge disappointment, was during the final episode of Star Trek: TNG. It’s not uncommon for us to sit around and watch a TV and for me to play with his genitals during this time. My purpose is never to bring him to orgasm or to even get him turned on, I just like to play and he’ll go in and out of hardness and softness and it’s an exciting precursor to an evening of fun. Recently, I got a cheap version of ace bandages or tensor bandages. I was thinking we could use it for a little bit of light bondage and compression play – things that I’m interested in and he’s never seemed uninterested in. More bondage-esque type things have never been a total no, like impact play is for example.

So, as I’m playing with him, I grabbed my wraps and began to unravel the smallest one. Immediately, he tenses up and his half chubs hard on disappears. I ask, “What’s wrong?” and he says, “I just have a feeling I know what you’re planning to do with that and…” he trails off into silence, with a look on his face that signals that he doesn’t want what I’m proposing. I ask, “Are you uncomfortable?” and he shrugs his shoulders, still with this look on his face, this look that absolutely signaled to me a complete lack of trust. I stopped, dead still.

I kissed him. I didn’t know what else to do. I held his face, and kissed him hard over and over again, my mind literally buzzing with thoughts. I felt like this was the moment to make a very conscious decision about what it is that I want. I kissed him harder and harder, fighting back tears as I decided, I wanted this even without the light bondage. I couldn’t let this one thing make my whole entire night miserable. I could either a) choose to focus harder on the fact that he wasn’t interested in this thing, even though he let me spend the money on it or b) just move on and forget it about it… It felt like I consciously gave up that night…

I went back to bringing him up to hardness again, and I dropped the wrap on the couch and left it alone. I haven’t brought it back up again. There is a big part of me that is just ready to throw in the towel on this whole kink thing for the time being. He’s not in the right head space for it and I’m not the one to try to work him into that head space  Whether it’s being his bottom or his top, I just don’t think he’s there yet. I don’t think he’s ready. And I don’t know if he ever will be…

And I don’t know how or what I feel about that, I don’t know what I’m going to do about it, I don’t know anything right now on that level. It’s one of those things that I’m trying not to let consume me…

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This post is intended for adults 18+


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Craving Him


I don’t know why lately, but I have been beyond incredibly turned on. From nights long of sex-filled dreams, I wake up to my pussy soaking through the sheets. I spend the rest of the day with my whole being begging for sexually release.

The most annoying thing though, is no matter how many times I masturbated or how many times I cum, my pussy still feels swollen, still pulses frantically,  still dampens my pants.

I realized last night that I have not been “wild” in bed for some time. I’m normally very loud and known for getting primal with my bad self, but that kind of sex had begun waking little ones every single time we had it, so I went into trying to be quiet, which trust me, is never easy!

Last night, I had had enough of the silent and timid sex. Still wasn’t all out primal, but I wasn’t nearly as quiet as I have been. I had made it known almost as soon as The Boyfriend got home from work that I was raging and ready to go. He’s been having a tough couple of days at work, so sex is probably the last thing on his mind. I was most surprised that he was willing to do anything sexually.

Thankfully, we put on Star Trek and I asked if I could straddle him. I’ve gotten very in to being on top of him, facing his feet, while he’s laying and watching TV. He’ll rub the area where my legs meet my ass and it just makes me feel amazing. Apparently, he really wanted sex, as I feel him constantly trying to work his cock into me, even though I know it won’t work, I’m too low down.

After teasing both of us for awhile, I decide I should help him out, so I move up and slowly and playfully lower myself onto him. His hands grab onto my hips and forcefully shove me until I am sitting straight up on his cock. My pussy feels so wet and at first I couldn’t move because my pussy was pulsing so hard. I didn’t want to cum just as we started…

We carried on like this until the end of our episode, half having sex, half teasing each other. After our episode, I laid down beside him and moments later he was crawling on top of me and I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited for that as I was last night.

My hands were immediately all over his body. I worked my way down to his ass and roughly grabbed on and pushed him deeper and deeper. I wrapped my legs up around his back, just below his shoulder blades, opening myself up for him. My legs were twitching and shaking involuntarily as I began whispering to him, “I love how thick your cock is, filling every inch of me. Your cock is so long, you can get so deep.”

My hands were everywhere and he was leaning in close to hear every word I was saying.  “I have been craving this all day. I can’t stop wanting your cock. The whole day you were at work, I kept dreaming about this exact moment. You are so good!”. There were many more sweet nothings delivered and I was shocked that he hadn’t cum during it, because he is so driven by dirty talk and sex noises in general.

I made my way on top of him now and he immediately nestled his face between my boobs. Mumbling into them, “Are you gonna cum on my cock?”. I let out a moan as I roughly ground myself on him, feeling his pubic bone hard on my clit. Sweat was dripping everywhere and I was shaking uncontrollably. While orgasm hadn’t happened for either of us, we had both been on the verge for so long…

My hands were frantically working my clit, his fingers were helping the most they could and nothing either of us was doing seemed to bring either of us over the edge. I dismounted him hoping he would tell me a different position he wanted me in, but instead we laid beside each other, my head at his feet, his head at mine. I wrapped my fingers hard around him and began gently working him up and down.

His thumb began circling my clit and my whole body was twitching beneath his skilled fingers. As my hand began working harder, he slid two fingers into me and forcefully penetrated my pussy. I pushed against him to feel him deeper, whispering under my breath, “More, more!” – he didn’t hear me.

He covered his face with his arm and was focused hard on his own orgasm. I was gripping his member so hard and kept telling him sweet nothings about his cock and how much I loved it, desired it, needed it. It took much longer than I had thought it would, but finally he was covering my leg with his warmth.

I’m sure he could feel the way my pussy responded to this as he continued penetrating me and I continued wishing he would add just one more finger. My hands now worked on my clit, one hand viciously pulling against everything to expose my clit hood and the other roughly circling my clit. I pushed harder and harder against his tiring hand until eventually (and finally, thank goodness) I was cumming hard, my entire body twisting and vibrating.

I had wanted him for so long…

This post is intended for adults 18+


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He Should Be Sick More Often…


Even though I’m still getting over this stupid cold and even though The Boyfriend is in the worst part of the thick of it, our sex life has been out of this world. I think I’ve gotten more sex over the course of the last week than I have in years with him. And I could not tell you who provoked it a single time, I can only tell you that it happened and that it’s been absolutely amazing!!

From the nights we’ve recorded ourselves on cam, to the nights we’ve watched porn, to the mornings that he has woken with a raging hard on, there has been all sorts and a lot of sex going down. I’ve gotten oral sex a couple of times, I’ve gotten midday fingerings and I haven’t had to work very hard to get any of it.

Some extremely memorable moments:

  • The Candy Kisser

    After The Boyfriend had picked up gummy candies for himself, and after we had already been teasing each other for hours, I placed his favorite candies on each of my nipples, down my stomach and mound and placed the final candy on my clit. He sensually plucked the candies off my nipples before slowly moving down to my stomach and carefully licking the final candy off my clit. But he didn’t stop there…
  • A New Angle

    On our second night recording ourselves with the cam and on my second night in a row of being on top (which there have been a total of three in a row so far…), instead of recording ourselves in the usual position, we switched things up a bit. Our bed is currently in the living room (because I like it that way!) and the computer is at the wall opposite the foot-end of our bed. Usually, the camera angle is looking at us from behind our head (aka Our Asses). I decided I wanted to see what it looked like the other way…DEFINITELY BETTER!

    We haven’t tried with The Boyfriend on top yet, though I’m sure we’re only days away. The best part is being able to see all of my boobs, which we hadn’t been able to yet in any of our other videos and the fact that we figured out this really raw lighting that hides all of my “imperfections”. I’m currently working on editing the video to the point that The Boyfriend will at least let me put some of it online. I really just want to get the audio all by itself and take a listen sans imagery.

  • Daytime Proclivities

    It’s been mega years since The Boyfriend and I had any type of regular sexual interaction during the day. It hasn’t been since the days of him working graveyards and him living in his own house with roommates and long before I ever got pregnant. For the past few days, it’s almost become typical. If I’m not being woken up for it in the morning (has happened twice now), I get a chance at it sometime in the afternoon/early evening hours. And while it may not always be sex, someone always gets to orgasm.This morning, I woke up in a less than inspiring mood, but he had already been dealing with his morning wood for awhile. I didn’t take him seriously when he first mentioned going upstairs for a quickie, but when he asked again, I couldn’t possibly resist. I immediately took my position, trying hard not to catch a glimpse at my morning self in the mirror, as he hurriedly scrambled to get himself naked. It was quick and wonderful and his hands on my body in the morning have kept me in quite good spirits all day.

    And then there’s been the multiple days of midday fingering sessions that have left me feeling absolutely divine. First day, he had quite the intense headache. And while the whole thing originally started because I was stroking him, I stayed wet while he went limp. It didn’t take long before I was quietly cumming beneath his skilled hands. Or yesterday as we laid watching a movie and his hands just sort of ended up there and stayed there until again I was cumming hard and quietly. It’s been wonderful!

I really don’t know how long this will last but I am taking full-advantage of it while it’s here. Hopefully it’s a more permanent change, because I’m seriously enjoying the shit out of it. Though I’m noticing, the more I’m getting it, the more I’m wanting it. For now it’s a good thing, but when the activities decline, it’s really going to suck…

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Harder + Faster = Stronger


I am absolutely surprised that my arm doesn’t hurt more today after the wicked time The Boyfriend and I had last night. I had asked when he first got home if there was a chance I could get laid later on. His response was full of anticipation, as he quickly nodded, smiled and said, “I think we can do that!” and do that, we did.

We laid down and put on some porn. In the beginning scene of the video, the guy makes the girl call her Mom to tell her what he’s about to do to her and periodically throughout their session, he makes her call her Mom again. Even though we both agreed that calling Mom during that was a very big taboo (and one we weren’t about to even fantasize about), we just turned down the volume and imagined her calling a consenting person. That was much hotter!!

It seemed like the foreplay dragged on forever, even though in reality, it probably didn’t last that long. And he was in a very rough and controlling mood last night, which was so incredibly sexy. As I began playing with his cock and balls, he grabbed my hair and asked for harder. I tightened my grip and continued my normal gentle rubbing. He whispered, “Be a good girl and do it harder and faster!”. Chills crept down my spine and I shivered in delight.

Fast and hard is exactly how I did it and his reaction was probably the best I’ve ever seen. I’ve gone hard and fast before, but never to this reaction. His whole body was on fire and he was breathing harder than he ever does. He told me to roll away from him, so he could play with my slit. And no, not my slit slit, but the hole in my pants – as I was wearing tie up hospital pants. He gently undid the tie and slowly pulled them down revealing my hip as I laid on my side.

I was already incredibly wet. Between the good girl and the instructions and the hard masturbating warm-up, I was ready and raring to go. After a few quick penetrations with his finger, he slowly slid himself inside of me and now I felt on fire. He would reach up and grab my boob as it bounced furiously against his thrusting and then he would grab onto my hip and pull me back harder onto him. I was in ecstacy.

I moved to the ottoman, kneeling down beside it, my head and arms resting on it. At first, it was doggy, my ass high in the air and his one leg kneeling and the other sort of resting on my ass. He would thrust hard into me and then I would gently grind onto him. It was very playful and totally hot. Slowly, we seemed to let gravity take hold of our asses and he was eventually kneeling, sitting with his bum on his heels and I was more sitting on top of him, using the ottoman for support. He leaned forward and whispered to me again, “Are you going to be a good girl and cum on my cock?”.

Something about the way he says good girl and cock, just really drive me wild in that moment. I nodded and before I could adjust to get my hands down there, he was already making plans for after I had cum. “When you’re done, you’re going to lay down and jerk me off.” and I nodded again and quickly got my hands down to my clit. I was already so close to orgasm that it only took a few seconds before I was cumming hard on his cock.

Once I was done and had officially gotten a hold of myself, he pulled me down to the bed beside him and I asked, “Same as last time?”. He nodded and lit himself a smoke. I rubbed my hand around my still wet pussy to get him nice and lubricated. I gripped his cock harder than I ever had before and began frantically stroking him. His entire body pulsed with every pump of my fist and he looked down and said “Harder”. I did and he said, “You can do better than that”, sending a wave of excitement through me. At this point, it was as if the first orgasm had never even happened.

I grabbed onto my wrist with the other hand, and worked his cock harder and faster than I ever have before. I felt the muscles in my upper arm flinch with every movement and my wrist almost stung with the amount of force behind my grip. I kissed his chest and snuggled my head intimately into his neck. We kissed deeply and roughly and his fingers were going nuts in my hair. The better it felt, the faster his fingers would rub against my head and then he exclaimed, “I’m cumming”. I continued to stroke him hard and fast, as he shot cum all over himself and my arms.

By this point, I was far past ready to go again. I knew that if I didn’t get off right then and there, that I would be up half the night, tossing and turning as my pussy pulsed me to sleep and I was not okay with that. At first, he rubbed my body and grabbed my boobs, but I had really tuckered him out and by now, it was already really late. He fell asleep with one hand on my inner thigh and the other on my breast, his leg just gently on my one leg. Normally, I would stop and give up on my orgasm, but I was raging with wetness and couldn’t imagine stopping, so I just ignored the fact that he was sleeping and continued to masturbate.

It took forever, but eventually I did cum again. He woke up once I was done to share a smoke with me and didn’t believe me that I had cum a second time. Once we laid down to go to sleep though, it took me just mere seconds to fall asleep and I didn’t wake up once during the night. It was a truly blissful sleep. And while I’m definitely sore today, I’m not noticing any aching in my arms or wrists, which I was really expecting.

Has anyone else been trying new things out in the bedroom? Got any great vanilla ideas to spice things up?