The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

This post is intended for adults 18+


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It Happened!


After much complaining and two years of impatiently waiting, it finally happened. I finally got a spanking!!

Okay, maybe not a spanking exactly. Two hard smacks, but still, closer than I’ve been in two freaking years!!

I had spent the night pestering The Boyfriend about this issue, without actually being bickering or nagging about it, just letting him know that it was on my mind. At one point, I mentioned to him that quite a long time ago he had made all these statements about how he should have to spank me every time he gets anal and that he’s gotten anal quite a few times without having to give me a spanking at all. We laid down in bed and gave this “erotic anime romp” series on Netflix a try out, Girls Bravo. We’re only two episodes in, so I haven’t really begun to form a strong opinion, but it was definitely a good warmer up to porn.

We seemed to be having a really difficult time picking porn, because I couldn’t seem to take it seriously if my life depended on it. Finally, I decided to stop looking with him in mind and ended up choosing a Kink.com Public Disgrace video (some of my favorite porn ever by the way people!) and it definitely did the trick. I was absolutely entangled in this film and could not take my eyes of the screen for anything, I was just in heaven watching this girl get used and abused and all the people. Still sends shivers down my spine.

I rolled onto my side and The Boyfriend snuggled up close behind me, his naked cock warm as it rest at the meeting of my legs and rear, flexing to meet with my moistening lips. I reached behind him and grabbed frantically at his ass, remarking on it’s amazing shape and it’s perfectly adorable fit against my hand. He slid his hand over my hip and up to my breast, forcing it this way and that, squeezing roughly at my nipples. My nails dug into his flesh as his hand reached up and his fingers gripped my throat, his other hand sliding under my head, trapping my head down by my hair.

My other hand went to his arm and I dug my nails in there, as he slowly slid his throbbing cock into my wet slit. We both paused as he reached the peak of his descent and our breaths were held in our chests, mine in his firm grip. His hand moved to my shoulder as he held me still for a few hard pumps, before releasing me to play on him. I slowly moved my hips against him, my soft lips circling his swollen member and I gently rocked allowing him more access and then only allowing shallow penetration on his behalf. As I pulled off of him, his cock drenched in my juices, he slowly pushed back in, but this time it wasn’t into my pink heaven.

It seemed so easy this time compared to every other time. I was so wet and he was so covered in my wetness that things were gliding with ease. As it became uncomfortable, he grabbed me tighter and whispered in my ear as I moaned out to him, “Daddy… Daddy… Daddy…” – my favorite thing to call him in the whole world, even though we don’t participate in any type of Daddy/Girl kinks. He grabbed my hip and pushed forward a little when I felt a sudden Smack! on my ass.

A few more quick thrusts and another Smack! on my ass. My moans of “Daddy” became much louder as he thrust harder and harder, a sure sign that he was in the midst of cumming. He reached between my legs, opening them wide and his fingers went to immediate work on my clit, his cock slowly losing girth in my tight hole. I squirmed frantically on him, bucking my hips wildly against his fingers, choking out words as he brought me to a very intense orgasm that resulted in my entire body going completely stiff next to him.

I have still yet to figure out how I feel about this spanking…

This post is intended for adults 18+


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“I’m Sorry” Isn’t Helping…


Seriously, talking to The Boyfriend about sex has become the biggest waste of my breath ever! It’s a pointless waste of time and nothing ever comes of it, and it’s just getting to the point where it’s starting to make me feel rather unhappy about my sexual predicament.

I’m talking about both vanilla and kinky sex. I probably wouldn’t be so focused on the kinky sex, if at least regularly I got vanilla sex. Every time I try to talk to him about sex, it’s like I’m saying the same things over and over again to an “I’m sorry” brick wall.

Even though it hasn’t been that incredibly long since we last had sex, I’ve been feeling the massive urge. I get to about the third or fourth day before I feel like it’s been a long time since we last had sex. He can go for months on end without ever thinking about it. So last night, I asked him about it and sure enough, all he said was “I’m sorry”, as if that’s supposed to somehow fix my sexual longing…

It’s always the way it is whenever I say anything about sex or our lack of it. He just says he’s sorry and then rolls over and falls asleep. I’m normally left there wondering if it’s me that makes him not want to have sex more often, if it’s his lack of attraction to me or something like that…

The one that bugs me even more than that is when he says that if I would just tease him more, or if I would initiate more. Except when you think of it, I normally am the one initiating, and I don’t want to be having sex with someone who is not interested or too exhausted to put any effort in themselves. I also don’t want it to be all about him! If I’m initiating all the time, then when am I going to get the feeling like I’m being pursued or desired…

He always complains that he’s so exhausted and I just think, then why don’t you stop playing Facebook games earlier and have sex with me long before we’re normally in bed. Why can’t it be any sort of priority around here?!?!? I hate that I am really passionate about sex, especially with The Boyfriend, and he could care less.

What bugs me most though, is how much it grates on me, especially after all this time. You’d think by now, I would be totally used to the lack of sex and that I would just move on and take what I get and be happy about it. But I feel like I’m being robbed of my sexuality, like I’m bending and folding to his will without my consent and like I’m being denied for no reason. I feel like it’s unfair.

I can’t get vanilla sex with him and I don’t want vanilla sex with others. I can’t get kinky sex with him and he’s made it pretty clear that I can’t have it with others. It’s just driving me nuts and I hate that it even bothers me at all. I just wish sex with me was a priority for him like it is for me with him…