The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

This post is intended for adults 18+


Did I Tell You About Last Night?

Thanks to The Boyfriend’s birthday, it has been two really great nights of sex-having and I don’t think it will be our last – not for at least another two days. I always love having birthday sex, especially when it’s not my birthday, because somehow it just always feels better. Even when it was the same sex you had just the night before, add the anniversary of someone’s birth in there and things just seem hotter.

The only thing that has even slightly sucked at all about the two nights (okay, technically, they were both in the same day. But one was at like 3 AM on Sunday and the other was just before midnight of that same day – but I slept in between, so that’s a different day for me…) was the porn. Let me clarify. I love watching porn and for the most part, tend to really enjoy doing it during the foreplay stage of sex. I don’t need a lot to get me ready to go for sex, so the foreplay is more for The Boyfriend than it is for me.

However, I’m really starting to not like his taste in porn – and not because he has bad taste, but because everything he wants to watch makes me insanely jealous. And, if this were the me of 5 or 6-years ago, it would be jealousy because he’s getting so turned on by these women on the screen, but that’s not it at all. No, instead, I suffer with being jealous because I so desperately want the things that he really enjoys watching.

When it comes to porn, The Boyfriend is all for anything lesbian. If it’s got 2 girls in it, he’s game. He even prefers that, when we pick heterosexual porn, there be 1 guy and 2 girls (at least), because he really has a thing for watching lesbians. And trust me, I really do too. But immediately, the second he even suggests it, I just fill with a whiny type of jealousy that normally results in me playfully sobbing, “I want to do that!!!”. But what bugs me most, is not that I want to do that, but because when I whine it at him and then try to say something along the lines of, “You should let me do that!”, it’s just a conversation silencer. He immediately goes quiet and I swear, intentionally stays that way so that I won’t say anything else about it…

Rant over!

So anyways, we ended up coming across some incredibly sexy videos dealing with lesbians and double dildos (another thing that The Boyfriend has really gotten into recently). The first night, I don’t think we watched for long at all before beginning our serious playing – where penetrative sex is being had, but we’re not actually having sex, more like just teasing each other for prolonged lengths of time. The most memorable moment of the night was getting up to get a drink and being stopped mid-way to be bent over and pounded from behind, my hands on the floor near my feet. It felt good and he enjoyed the view.

The Boyfriend had one birthday wish, one that the mere thought of the wish coming true, completely ruined the chances of it ever happening. As I’ve probably said before, The Boyfriend enjoys anal quite a bit – not really sure why he enjoys it as much as he does, and he definitely doesn’t know either, but he does. I, on the other hand, really don’t care for anal sex. I grew up wanting to be a total anal whore, but now that I’ve tried anal sex my required three times, I just can’t seem to really enjoy it. There have been a few times but for the most part, if and when I do it, I’m totally just doing it to please him.

It came as no surprise that his birthday wish would be anal and before he even said it, I knew he was going to ask if I’d be down. I had mentally prepared myself to say yes and was intentionally trying to rough up the serious playing so that I’d be more likely to enjoy the discomfort anal sex brings me. Alas, as he whispered in my ear, “Can I?”, the entire thought of it proved to be just a little too much for his (to quote Sadopaeidia – the best book ever!) “John Thomas” and he ended up cumming right there and then. I had already had a short orgasm earlier on in the playing and was quite pleased when he asked me if I thought I could cum again while he went limp inside me – so hot!

The next day (although, refer to the point about this above, because it was technically still the same day), he was doing little things all day long to keep me quite ready for more. Like when he needed to use my soft clothes to wipe one of his games off and he gently rubs his fingertips up my legs, starting from my ankles and all the way up to my inner thigh or the gentle kisses he pampered my neck with as I sat on the computer blogging away. By the time we got into bed, all I could do was think about what we were going to do to each other.

We’d both been talking about 69’ing for some time and just never actually found ourselves doing it. But it had been a really long time since we last 69’ed, so I put my foot down and demanded some oral sex! Again the lesbian double dildo-type porn was put on and it didn’t take either one of us long to decide that we were ready to really begin getting it on. It had been so long that we were both a little awkward about it, as I expected. We couldn’t get comfortable, my pussy was up too high for his tongue to reach and my boobs kept getting in the way of me being comfortable on top of him, but eventually we got it all sorted out.

I could not get over how long he seemed to be and how difficult I was finding it to get most of him in my mouth. Usually, it doesn’t seem that hard. After our orgasms had finished, which beautifully happened at the exact same moment, I mentioned how long he seemed and it turned out that someone had spent some time shaving – not a lot, just a trim (because that’s how I like it). I was most pleased and feel asleep dreaming of trimmed pubic hair.

I am sincerely hoping that tonight will result in another sex-session, but for now, we’re just enjoying the peace and quiet of everyone’s bedtime 😉

This post is intended for adults 18+


Nipple Licking is Popular Here

Today I spent some time going through my blog stats. I don’t do this often enough, mainly because it’s almost always the same thing. I average the same amount of visitors every day, they often come from the same places, and more often than not it’s always the same search term (or variation of) that brings them here.

You’ve heard me say it before and I’ll probably continue to keep on saying it, that the search term that gets most people here has to do with sex bucket lists. How to make one, ideas for one, etc. So I don’t normally look through my stats that often. But recently, the searches that are bringing people here are less often dealing with sex bucket lists and more often dealing with nipple licking, thanks to my post Dual Nipple Licking.

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This post is intended for adults 18+


Unexpected Night

Well, last night was a rather entertaining night. I figured since we had had sex on Monday and Tuesday night, that Wednesday night, I would be totally shit out of luck. So when I began rubbing his bare legs and working my way up to his hips and ass, I really didn’t expect anything. I assumed he would fall asleep during the gentle caressing and that would be that.

We were in a spooning position, me behind him, and as I ran my finger over his hip bone he thrust his hips backwards in a kind of swooping motion. I continued, still not getting my hopes up for anything. But then he did it again as I grabbed his ass cheek and then again when I rubbed my hand down the front of his leg. Soon, his motions were beginning to turn me on.

After over half an hour of this gentle touching from me, I figured he wasn’t that interested. He hadn’t touched me, I hadn’t touched any other part of him then his hips, ass and legs, and outside of the swaying hips there was no indication that he really truly wanted anything. So, I rest my hand on his leg and stopped rubbing. He was not about to have any of that. He grabbed my hand and pushed it, forcing me to continue rubbing his leg. That was the only signal I needed.

I continued on for another half an hour or so, before he rolled onto his back and the kissing began. Within moments, I was climbing on top of him, already wet from the hours worth of teasing. I stayed close to him at first, barely backing away from having my face in his neck. Everything felt so good and I was incredibly hot. He laid there enjoying the way I moved my hips and when I’d let him, sucking fervently on my breasts. They dangle so nicely in his face when I’m on top.

I leaned backwards and he quickly sent his thumb straight to my clit, and began frantically working me towards orgasm. As he lifted his thumb to switch to the other one, I began cumming and he could feel it. His hands gripped my hips (which doesn’t happen often enough) and I leaned forward in hopes that he would cum. Instead, he asked if I thought I could cum again. “Yes, yes, yes!”, I yelped at him.

Everything was so passive on his part, something that I’m very unused to with him. He barely bucked his hips wildly, instead letting me grind him until I could grind no more. He mostly just sat back and enjoyed the ride. I reached my hand between my legs and began working my clit as I switched from grinding to a more up and down motion. By this point, I was absolutely soaking wet and he was slipping in and out of me with almost too much ease. I leaned back again so I could use both my hands and after long and very hard stroking was cumming again, this time more intensely. As I began cumming, he asked if I’d suck him off after my second orgasm.

At first, I considered saying no completely. I had recently said that I wasn’t going to give him head again until I got some oral sex. But there we were, in the moment of it all, and as my orgasm finished and my breathing returned to normal, I quickly knelt down and began sucking him off like there was no tomorrow. He was covered in all my juices and this made it easier to deepthroat him more than I have in months. I knew he was close to orgasm so I sucked hard and I sucked fast.

Within mere seconds, he was cumming harder than I’ve felt in awhile. The very base of his cock swelled as the first shot dribbled out, then another, then another, until there was so much it was now dribbling out of my mouth and back onto him. His whole body jolted with each pulse of his wet cock and my moaning was frantic. He collapsed back onto the bed and I joined him to cuddle and talk about the experience we had just had.

I could not get over how much I had not been expecting to get anything and I got everything and more.

This post is intended for adults 18+

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Harder + Faster = Stronger

I am absolutely surprised that my arm doesn’t hurt more today after the wicked time The Boyfriend and I had last night. I had asked when he first got home if there was a chance I could get laid later on. His response was full of anticipation, as he quickly nodded, smiled and said, “I think we can do that!” and do that, we did.

We laid down and put on some porn. In the beginning scene of the video, the guy makes the girl call her Mom to tell her what he’s about to do to her and periodically throughout their session, he makes her call her Mom again. Even though we both agreed that calling Mom during that was a very big taboo (and one we weren’t about to even fantasize about), we just turned down the volume and imagined her calling a consenting person. That was much hotter!!

It seemed like the foreplay dragged on forever, even though in reality, it probably didn’t last that long. And he was in a very rough and controlling mood last night, which was so incredibly sexy. As I began playing with his cock and balls, he grabbed my hair and asked for harder. I tightened my grip and continued my normal gentle rubbing. He whispered, “Be a good girl and do it harder and faster!”. Chills crept down my spine and I shivered in delight.

Fast and hard is exactly how I did it and his reaction was probably the best I’ve ever seen. I’ve gone hard and fast before, but never to this reaction. His whole body was on fire and he was breathing harder than he ever does. He told me to roll away from him, so he could play with my slit. And no, not my slit slit, but the hole in my pants – as I was wearing tie up hospital pants. He gently undid the tie and slowly pulled them down revealing my hip as I laid on my side.

I was already incredibly wet. Between the good girl and the instructions and the hard masturbating warm-up, I was ready and raring to go. After a few quick penetrations with his finger, he slowly slid himself inside of me and now I felt on fire. He would reach up and grab my boob as it bounced furiously against his thrusting and then he would grab onto my hip and pull me back harder onto him. I was in ecstacy.

I moved to the ottoman, kneeling down beside it, my head and arms resting on it. At first, it was doggy, my ass high in the air and his one leg kneeling and the other sort of resting on my ass. He would thrust hard into me and then I would gently grind onto him. It was very playful and totally hot. Slowly, we seemed to let gravity take hold of our asses and he was eventually kneeling, sitting with his bum on his heels and I was more sitting on top of him, using the ottoman for support. He leaned forward and whispered to me again, “Are you going to be a good girl and cum on my cock?”.

Something about the way he says good girl and cock, just really drive me wild in that moment. I nodded and before I could adjust to get my hands down there, he was already making plans for after I had cum. “When you’re done, you’re going to lay down and jerk me off.” and I nodded again and quickly got my hands down to my clit. I was already so close to orgasm that it only took a few seconds before I was cumming hard on his cock.

Once I was done and had officially gotten a hold of myself, he pulled me down to the bed beside him and I asked, “Same as last time?”. He nodded and lit himself a smoke. I rubbed my hand around my still wet pussy to get him nice and lubricated. I gripped his cock harder than I ever had before and began frantically stroking him. His entire body pulsed with every pump of my fist and he looked down and said “Harder”. I did and he said, “You can do better than that”, sending a wave of excitement through me. At this point, it was as if the first orgasm had never even happened.

I grabbed onto my wrist with the other hand, and worked his cock harder and faster than I ever have before. I felt the muscles in my upper arm flinch with every movement and my wrist almost stung with the amount of force behind my grip. I kissed his chest and snuggled my head intimately into his neck. We kissed deeply and roughly and his fingers were going nuts in my hair. The better it felt, the faster his fingers would rub against my head and then he exclaimed, “I’m cumming”. I continued to stroke him hard and fast, as he shot cum all over himself and my arms.

By this point, I was far past ready to go again. I knew that if I didn’t get off right then and there, that I would be up half the night, tossing and turning as my pussy pulsed me to sleep and I was not okay with that. At first, he rubbed my body and grabbed my boobs, but I had really tuckered him out and by now, it was already really late. He fell asleep with one hand on my inner thigh and the other on my breast, his leg just gently on my one leg. Normally, I would stop and give up on my orgasm, but I was raging with wetness and couldn’t imagine stopping, so I just ignored the fact that he was sleeping and continued to masturbate.

It took forever, but eventually I did cum again. He woke up once I was done to share a smoke with me and didn’t believe me that I had cum a second time. Once we laid down to go to sleep though, it took me just mere seconds to fall asleep and I didn’t wake up once during the night. It was a truly blissful sleep. And while I’m definitely sore today, I’m not noticing any aching in my arms or wrists, which I was really expecting.

Has anyone else been trying new things out in the bedroom? Got any great vanilla ideas to spice things up?

This post is intended for adults 18+

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The Second Coming


Does anyone else feel a wave of melancholy rush over them after insanely good sex? I do…

Last night was one of those nights that will go down in mine and The Boyfriend’s Best Sex History Book. One of those times that will be forever remembered and etched in our minds. A night that every other night will be compared to.

We normally have really amazing sex, but last night was so beyond amazing, so beyond the norm. It was a body-shaking, mind-boggling, heart-racing and incredibly romantic experience. I still can’t get the image of it all out of my head.

For the first time, in what feels like months and months, The Boyfriend was actually wanting sex. It wasn’t like what’s been happening most of the time lately, where I get so desperate for an orgasm, that I bug him for a few days and then after initiating, finally get some. He had gone to the store and when he got back, he sat down and asked, “Do you know where one of your black things are?” – This of course meant my slinky black slip. Unfortunately, that one is over at my Mom’s house, but I did have a silky black nightie thing and while it’s not the most flattering, it’s short and shows of my boobs. He had no complaints!

I wanted a neck massage really bad last night, and I’m really lucky to have a boyfriend who gives them to me very regularly and super easily. All I have to do is ask and I’ve never heard no. I’ve been desperately wanting to watch 9 1/2 Weeks with Mickey Rourke and Kim Bassinger, because I read a review that said it was good recently and while I had bought it a couple years ago, I never really hunkered down and watched it. We put it on once, but our intention was to play it in the background during sex. Last night, we actually watched it. Side note: The ending sucked for me!

I rubbed and caressed his legs and then we’d switch spots and he’d rub and caress mine. As the movie ended, I lowered my lips to his legs and begin kissing and licking my way up from his knees. He squirmed quite uncontrollably as I flicked my tongue behind his knee and bit gently on his inner thigh. He shorts became tighter and tighter and soon I was licking his hardness through his shorts.

I’ve always had a thing for pre-cum. It’s seriously one of those things that just automatically drives me wild with desire. It’s gotten to the point where the second I see it, I’m automatically soaking wet. Last night was the absolute best. He’s wearing these swimming shorts and as I’m licking through them, they begin getting wet in the perfect shape of his cock. I pull back and grab him as pre-cum inches out, and you can see it through his shorts as it bubbles above the fabric. So hot! It was no time before we were rushing downstairs to have sex.

We tried out a new position last night, really just a variation on our favorite position, man-on-top missionary. Normally, both my legs are up and either around his waist with my feet on his ass or up near my head, my feet near his shoulders. Last night, he lifted one leg while the other leg stayed flat on the bed. Then he straddled the flat leg. The penetration felt incredible. I was surprised at how deep he felt.

We were both frantic, grabbing wildly at each other’s bodies and his rhythm was impeccable. And man oh man, the talking! It was a constant stream of words and I can’t tell you how much I love to hear him talk during sex. Especially if he’s responding to the things I’m saying. As I’m moaning all my sweet nothings, he was moaning sweet nothings back and it’s enough to make a girl so wet!

He pulled out and I was sure he came, though he didn’t say anything. It looked and felt like it, but then he went back to hard fucking with a very rigid cock and I was so unsure if that was actually him cumming. After a few moments, I told him to sit back a little so that I could play with my clit while he pounded me. He sat back and forcefully grabbed my boob as he watched the other one bounce against the vigorous fucking. My entire body felt every single touch and every single breath and for the first time ever during sex with The Boyfriend, an I love you escaped my lips. It was quickly returned and said a few more times and it seemed like he got rougher and more intense.

By this point, I was beyond desperate for an orgasm. One hand was steadily circling my clit and the other was everywhere on his body. I said something about us having batteries, we could use one of our vibrators, but he was determined not to go anywhere. He says, “Don’t tell me to stop!” and it all becomes harder and faster. Then he pulls out and cums all over my stomach.

Nothing but oh my god’s after that. It was a first for both of us. The first time that he’s ever cum twice in one sex session and the first time that I’ve ever had a boyfriend cum twice in one sex session. We were both in total blissful ecstasy. It was probably the hottest sex we’ve ever had and if not the hottest, it sure as hell ranks up there pretty high.

He gets up to clean himself off and comes back to the bed where I’m still rubbing my clit. He grabs my inner thigh and ask him to kiss me. Every single muscle in my body was so tense and I was trembling in the most extreme desperation. It wasn’t long before I was having the most intense orgasm, working my ass off to contain any noises and trying to be so quiet. My body went from relaxed and enjoying the orgasm to completely tensed up, my knees up near my chest and my face buried in his neck. It seemed to go on forever and by the time I removed my fingers from my clit, my entire body felt like it was tingling and the most gentle of touches felt like they were rough and vigorous. He just held me through the whole thing.

The only bad part of the night was that somewhere along the line, he had made me bleed. There was blood all over the bed, my hands, our legs and his cock. I know that all that stuff is completely natural, but it always just makes me worry that he’s going to be so grossed out by it. And therefore completely turned off by it. If it wasn’t for my desperation to orgasm, I probably would’ve stopped the second I saw or heard about the blood because I let that worry cloud my pleasure. Last night, I did my best to ignore it.

After I was all cleaned up, I came back to bed and we laid there for another half hour or so talking about the great sex we had just had. Those moments always make me feel really good. We’re able to talk about the stuff that we really liked and the stuff that we would’ve changed. Last night was especially great being that we were talking about his first multiple orgasm and for the first time he got to experience what I experience, where every orgasm is different. He’s always saying that it feels essentially the same every time for him, but last night he says the first time felt like it was all about the build up and the second time felt like it was all about the release.

He comforted me about the bleeding and told me that it really doesn’t bother him. He wouldn’t say it turns him on, but it’s not a turn off. He said he loved when I told him I loved him and thought that was one of the hottest parts of the entire night, which was good because I thought for sure that he was going to say it was awkward or something. He told me how good I did at staying quiet and he pulled me in close for a really amazing cuddle. Best ending to sex ever!

For some reason though, after those really amazing sexual experiences, I feel an overwhelming sadness that seems to last into the next day. It’s not even a sadness that I can come close to explaining and there is no cause to it. I feel clingy and needy and like I need approval. I feel this incredibly intense vulnerability and frankly, it sucks. I fall asleep with this smile on my face, but I feel so melancholy. It’s very odd, but in a way, I really love the feeling. I wish I knew what it was that made it happen though and if other people have that too.

I will remember last night forever. What an incredible experience!