The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Does This Happen To You?!?


You know what bugs me? Not that it bugs me all the time, just that it’s bugging me right now. Every time that I have out-of-this-world, as I call it mind-boggling sex, I spend the next day or a few days afterwards feeling down and out and a little bit like I’m in a funk. I don’t know if other people experience this, but I definitely do and I definitely don’t like it!

I’m always reading about subdrop and how to avoid it and what to do about it. There are tons of articles on the web and I’m no expert in it, so I won’t bore you with what I hypothetically know about it. But from what I’ve read, it’s as if that’s what I experience after that really good sex. The sex that goes down in your relationship history book.

Normally, I just shrug it off as the after-loving-blues and carry on as if it’s nothing, but today’s blues are being relentless. I feel like I have a hangover, that’s more what it feels like. I’m down and out, I’m sorer than normal and I’m in a right bitchy mood for absolutely no reason. It’s like panic-mode-PMS. And it’s making me even more grumpy than I already am, and the fact that I’m grumpy with no logical reason is just making me sad.

And I wish I could figure out what it is that would take me out of this. I know I don’t want cuddles, and I don’t want massages, and I don’t want to get up and move around. I already walked to the store and that definitely did not help with my mood. I know of all the things that I don’t want but I can’t give you one thing that I do want to do. And I despise that!

Does anyone else experience this the day after having sex? Do you find that your mood is different and that you don’t like it? Or do you like the mood change? Or do you notice absolutely no difference the day after?


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Better Feeling Day


I am feeling much better today than I did yesterday. First, I got to sleep in a little bit this morning, even though the kids were up shortly after The Boyfriend went to work. But they were relatively good and just watched TV for the most part. When I woke up, I was not in a pissy mood like I have been lately when I’m waking up. Normally, until I get at least a few smokes in me, I’m just overly grumpy, but this morning I seemed to be fine.

The kids and I watched some TV together and then I did a load of dishes before making them lunch. And I was really glad to have gotten that load of dishes out of the way, because now the kitchen is back to half decent and I feel so much better about it. After The Boyfriend got home, I told him he had to take all the garbage out, including the huge pile of pizza boxes that had been piling up. Boy does it ever feel good to get that garbage out of here and two more loads of dishes got done, so now I’m down to one more big bowl to clean and some silverware and then dishes will be done!

The kids were also better today than they’ve been in quite a long time and I felt like we had some really cute moments together, like when Kenzie was trying to spell The Boyfriend’s name or when Kaeidyn was explaining email spam to the boys. The boys also fought way less roughly than they have been lately today, so that made the day that much easier to do, being that no one was crying or bleeding or anything like that.

The Boyfriend’s also been really attentive to this funk that I’ve been in, even though when I’m really deep in it, I hate it and resent him for it – or something like that. I felt angry at him a lot over these last few days, and today, being woken up this morning to kisses before he left for work, just made me realize that I really do love him so much and that he has really been amazing during this whole thing, even if I couldn’t see it or recognize it while it was happening. He’s still not perfect but being that this is probably the first funk that I’ve had in quite a long while, he did a really great job and I thank him for that.

I’ve gotten quite a bit done today on the computer, including writing a few more chapters of The Brighton Tales, though you probably won’t see those for a little bit yet. I’m always amazed with this story how far off it is from anything I’ve ever actually fantasized about, but how much it turns me on when I read it. And I have to say that for a woman whose never had much experience with gay sex, I write it pretty darn good, but that’s just my two cents worth. But I’m very impressed that I finally wrote more, since it’s been on my To Do List for so freaking long!

Other than that, my day has been mostly boring, but good nonetheless. How was your day?

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Things I’ve Learnt About My Sexual Self


  • I get really moody after a few days of not having sex
  • I get a little paranoid the longer it is between sex sessions
    Example: I start believing The Boyfriend is cheating on me…
  • My emotional state prior to a sex session largely determines my emotional state immediately following the sex session
  • I really suck at staying mad at someone when they make sexual advances…
  • I am much more aware of my physical flaws during sex (and not just because they’re out in the open more, because I tend to keep a lot of my clothes on…)
  • I feel much younger the day after sex, even though my body aches more
  • The more I think I’m going to orgasm sooner, the longer it takes to actually reach orgasm. Whereas if I think that it’s going to take forever, it’s normally so fast that I almost regret it, because then sex is like a five minute deal…
  • And while five minutes totally rocks sometimes, it gives me no chance to loosen up to have a really great orgasm
  • I have a very hard time staying reasonably quiet during sex, and I have no idea if it’s affecting how good the sex is…
  • On average, I can last a whole two days before I start feeling like it’s been too long since I last had sex…
  • Porn and I have a very odd and complicated relationship…
There’s more, I just can’t think of any right now. Look forward to updates!!!