The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


2 Comments

The Last Few Days


I have been meaning to come on here for days and write, because I’ve been craving it. It hasn’t been for lack of things to write about…

This week has been an incredibly crazy week filled with a large roller coaster ride of emotions that has just left me feeling plain exhausted. For the last two days, I’ve done nothing but lay in bed pouting and complaining about how sore my body is. There have been good moments and bad over the last few days, but I seem to be stuck in a rut when it comes to whatever feeling it is that I’ve been having that seems to come and go, well, for the last few days it’s been staying and holding tight with a deadly grip.

I wouldn’t say this is depression, because the feeling isn’t sad really. Then again, I’m sleeping a lot lately and I have a thousand and one reasons why depression would make sense. And maybe I am a little depressed and just in denial, but it’s not to this terrible point yet. I’m just beginning to notice that it’s beginning to affect me negatively and as I’ve said, these come and go in waves (as you’ll notice if you read back over the last few months), so I’m sure the tide is going to flow outwards again and I’ll be able to catch my breath.

So let’s talk about the last few days…

First, we started watching Dexter on Netflix. I really really love this show like crazy. We’ve even let the kids watch a few episodes and it is the most interested in a TV show we seem to be able to get them lately. Even got The Boyfriend hooked. But what I didn’t expect from this show was how much it would act as a major trigger for me. I kept thinking, “There should be a warning somewhere…”, because on multiple occasions  it has brought me back to places where terrible things have happened or terrible thoughts have occurred and I just wasn’t expecting it at all… For the most part, this is easy to deal with in the moment and I’m often over it shortly after the show ended, but some of the things seem to really be sticking in my mind and keeping the tide over my head.

Then, Kenzie and I have not been doing very well together. For some reason, he is in the stage of absolutely hating my guts and making it known at every possible turn. Obviously I know that he doesn’t actually hate my guts, but he insists on saying it to me every single day, multiple times a day. The one that is the hardest to deal with is the first thing in the morning one, which just turns my entire day to crap before it even gets started. There’s no worse way to start your day than to hear “I hate you” coming from your flesh and blood’s mouth.

We went through much the same thing with Kaeidyn, right around this age too, and for the life of me, I can’t remember how we dealt with it. I know that it didn’t last as long with Kaeidyn as it is with Kenzie and everything that we’ve attempted to do with Kenzie thus far has not worked at all. It all seems to add fuel to the fire and it’s been difficult. I often feel the least in control of my kids in that moment and like I’m never going to feel as if they respect me and all that I’ve done for them. Being over-dramatic I suppose…

The Boyfriend and I had program again this week, which goes as good as it always does. This was basically a review of the questionnaires that we filled out the last time we had went and basically to see where we stand based on our answers to all these questions. Oddly enough, on the depression test, The Boyfriend scored as more depressed than I was and it was the first time in my life that I scored as only mildly at risk for depression.  My favorite part of this whole entire appointment was when we were going over our Parenting Confidence and Satisfaction questionnaires, in which both The Boyfriend and I scored very high in our overall confidence but rather low on the satisfaction end of thing. Our worker asks, “Why do you think you got this result?” and The Boyfriend throws up his hands and goes, “This!”.

We both broke off to explain the “This!” as being more than just the program itself, but the whole parenting situation that we’ve been experiencing for the last few months, what with all the child services visits and the constant issues with the kids and the feeling of being so overwhelmed by this job. I pointed out that there was never any question about how good of parents we were, but how good of housekeepers we were and yet we had to go to parenting classes not housekeeping classes. We both vented and it felt really good and really nice. It’s also nice because our worker strongly believes in focusing on the positive, so we haven’t heard much negative at all about our parenting which is nice!

In other news entirely, we just jumped over the 100 member mark in The Erotic Writers Group Google+ Community. I’m spending as much of the rest of the night as The Boyfriend will let me catching up on all the stuff that I’ve missed out on over the last few days of my absence  from the computer. Hopefully I’ll be able to update you with more about all that fun stuff later. Well, I hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend and staying warm during this lovely “spring” snowstorm 😉


Leave a comment

No Closer to Getting It Done…


Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous - Free Social Networking for Adult Bloggers

Free Social Networking
For Adult Bloggers

Learn More

I have been absolutely consumed by the Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous re-design these last few days, whenever I haven’t been trying to get up the motivation to do the cleaning…

Unfortunately, it’s not as much in the re-design as it is in the planning of the re-design at this point. First, I tried out TeamLab for working on my planning of this massive undertaking. There are things that I definitely appreciate about this app, but I just couldn’t get into the look or feel of it. I also hated that it’s just lil-old-me working on this project and this app has a huge section for community engagement, so that a company can stay connected with their employees. One day, my friend, one day…

So, I went on a day long hunt that has resulted in a more than one day experimentation with all these different apps. I went through the Chrome Web Store, which I try to do as little as possible, because this place is seriously addicting. People just go out and create these wicked things for you to use, like this really awesome tracker-thingy that I just installed, that literally lets me track everything. My food eaten, my sleep, my pain and my freaking period!! There’s even more awesome features, but I’ve only really tried out the tracking, and it’s only been for two days!

Anyways, back to the point…

Then I tried working with Teambox, but found it was a lot like TeamLab, so I moved on. There are tons of great project management apps out there and if you’re a business or a really big blog, then a lot of them are really great. But for just me – I don’t even know how to describe myself in this situation – I mainly just need a place to post all my great ideas (I say that with the utmost seriousness…) and keep track of what I’m doing. But I also desperately want to get fancy about it and be all professional and organized and treat it like my business baby.

Tonight, I’m experimenting with Podio. I haven’t gotten an iota of a step into actually planning anything to do with the site re-design, but instead have gotten lost in the fascination brought on by browsing the app market and then finding out that I can modify these apps and make them exactly what I need for what I’m doing.

Point of the story:
I’m overjoyed, but no closer to getting done what I need to get done…

This post is intended for adults 18+


1 Comment

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous News


Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous

It’s been awhile since I wrote a post about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, the free social networking community for adult, lifestyle and sex bloggers that I run. When in reality, it’s all I’ve been working on lately, so it’s a surprise that I haven’t written anything here. I told some people at work about it and they laughed and said it’s hilarious. I took it pretty hard the first time, but now I just kind of laugh along. It’s hard to believe that I spend as much time on this thing as I do sometimes…. So, there’s been quite a bit new over there, let’s jump to it.

Newly Added Features

Recently, Spruz, the platform that Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is hosted on, underwent a pretty major update which included the ability to add the discussions and events features to the groups feature. So, we’ve made it so that every group can now host events and instead of using the old Topics, they can use the new Discussions – so far it’s working out really nicely.

We’ve also added the Blog Directory, though it’s really more of a link directory. You can post links to all your favorite blogs and websites and other users can comment on them, rate them and more! You can even check out what we’ve got added so far and comment and rate our links!

New on the Blog

I’ve been trying to write as much as physically possible on the blog lately. It’s a lot harder than you would think it is, but this is some of what’s new right now!

“When I created my personal sex bucket list on my blog The Rantings of a Tortured Mind about a year or so ago, I thought that kink was going to be possible. The Boyfriend was showing a lot of interest, it was all looking like that was the way it was going.

Now, a year later, it’s been about that long since I’ve had any kink in my life. The interest on his part has completely left and now I am definitely not getting my kink on! Needless to say, my bucket list has evolved with this same thing. Even though I’d still like to do those things one day, I’d like to keep it realistic enough that it’s not depressing.”

[READ MORE…]

Download our special report detailing 10 totally different ways to generate blog post ideas for your adult blog! These 10 activities are sure to get your creative juices flowing and help you come up with some of your greatest posts ever!”

[READ MORE…]

“Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous has been on Facebook for some time now. We’ve been rather slowly wading in the Facebook waters, especially as there have been some issues reported about “questionable content” on Facebook. But recently, we liked a bunch of a pages and our Facebook page has really picked up. So, here’s the 4 reasons you should become a Facebook fan!”

[READ MORE…]

Forum Discussions of Interest

The forums have kind of slowed down as we experiment with the new Discussions featured. Spruz has mentioned that one day the forums may go bye-bye, and we’ll have to use the Discussions feature, so we’re preparing. But until that happens, the forums will still be around, so here’s some of the best conversations happening now:

Groups of Greatness

Spruz Owner's Group on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Spruz Owner’s Group

If you run a social network on the Spruz platform, join this group for tips, tricks, advice and more!

Not Getting My Kink On... Group on Lifestyle Bloggers AnonymousNot Getting My Kink On…

The trials and tribulations of being a kinkster in a vanilla relationship.

Awesome Video

While there’s been a lot of really great videos added to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous and you can always see more by checking us out on YouTube, here’s our most favorite right now. Laci Green of Sex+ gives us an education in vagina’s in 90 seconds!!

New Blog Launched

That’s right!! It’s been a long time coming, but we’ve finally launched our Tumblr blog, featuring the best sex, kink and blogging-related randomness from around the world wide web. We’re even giving you the ability to submit your own favorites and ask us questions about the above topics.

You’ll get pictures, quotes, videos and tons of links to our favorite stuff everywhere!! So be sure to stay tuned for updates and if you’re on Tumblr, be sure to follow us! Visit Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous on Tumblr Today!

Now What…

So now, I’d like to invite you to head on over to Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. If you’re a member, check out all the stuff that’s been added to the site and if you’re not a member, become one absolutely FREE today! Leave your comments here and let me know what you think about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Thanks for reading!


10 Comments

For Those Who Don’t Know: Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous


As some of you may know, I not only write this blog, but I also write a blog full of my favorite randomness and I am the Administrator of a social network. Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is a free online social networking community for adult, lifestyle and sex bloggers (yes, I count myself in that category…).

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous offers a variety of features all aimed to help you connect with other adult bloggers. Even if you aren’t interested in actually starting your own adult blog, you’ll be able to discover new blogs to read, get great blogging tips and tricks, and be able to connect with your favorite bloggers.

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is 100% FREE and will never cost you a cent, unless you choose to donate to the site. All donations go straight back into the site and you get to choose the amount to donate.

In this post, I’m going to outline some of the features of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous as well as highlight some of my favorite groups, discussions and blog posts. Please feel free to browse around the site and definitely don’t hestitate to become a member today!

The LBA Blog

As a non-member you can read the blog. Once you become a member, you unlock the ability to begin writing your very own blog entires on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous.

Our blog has an integrated comment system and the ability to share posts via Twitter and Facebook. Easily post to the blog with a Rich Text Editor, or if you’re feeling a little adventurous switch over to HTML mode*. Currently, we offer a total of 10 categories which include:

Recently, I’ve written a few different posts on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. They include two erotic fantasies, Caged Cuckold and One Chore: The Dishes. I also highlighted my posts on sexual bucket lists, An Intro to Sexual Bucket Lists and 100+ Sexual Bucket List Ideas and my personal favorite 6 Crazy Sex Laws – Past & Present.

If you have any other blog category ideas, please stop by the Suggestion Box and let your voice be heard! To begin writing  your own blog on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, become a member today!

The LBA Forums

If you’re looking to have discussions on just about any topic with just about anyone, the forums are the place to go. Non-members have limited access to the forums and can only see the General Discussions forum. Members, however, are given access to all the forums which includes For The Bloggers, Sexuality & You and BDSM & Fetishes (again, suggestions are greatly appreciated!). Each of these forum categories have a variety of sub-categories and even more topics within. Here are some of the best discussions right now:

Of course, this is just some of my personal favorites from Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. There are many more discussions happening and many more waiting to be had. So what are you waiting for? Become a member today to start participating in lively discussions on blogging, sexuality, BDSM and fetishes!

The LBA Groups

If you’ve ever wanted to connect with like-minded adult bloggers, groups are definitely the way to go! Groups are a great way to gather individuals on a niche topic. First and foremost, I strongly suggest that any member of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous joins our official group. All the latest site updates and announcements are posted there. As a non-member, you can see what we have to offer for groups, but as a member not only can you join groups that have already been created, you can also start your very own niche group.

Currently, these are the groups that you can find on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous:

Kinky in CanadaKinky in Canada

Canadian kinksters come together in this group. Whether your from the East or the West, you can connect with other Canadians. If you’re from Alberta, like me, then check out the Alberta Connect topics to meet other Albertan.

The Big "O"The Big “O”

Lovers of orgasms unite in this group where we’re sharing orgasm tips, facts and experiences.

FetLifersFetLifers

If you’re a member of the best social networking site for kinksters, by kinksters, then join this group and connect with other FetLifers.

Erotic WritersErotic Writers

If you write erotic poems, stories or songs, join this group to mingle with other erotic writers. Get inspired, get motivated, get writing!

For Women OnlyFor Women Only

Of course I made this group!! NO BOYS ALLOWED!  Women, let’s get together and have a chat, okay? Let’s talk about all the things us girls talk about, okay? If you’re into that, then join this group!

I’m always looking for suggestions for new groups, so if you’ve got any that you think would be a great addition, either become a member of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous and create them yourself, or leave a comment to this post and I’ll see what I can do!

Some of the other features we offer include photos, videos and a chat room. You can upload your own photos to the site if you’re a member, though please be sure to read the Community Guidelines first! You can also share videos from popular video sharing sites such as YouTube and Vimeo. Again, we’re always open to suggestion but so far the video categories include:

Here’s one of my favorite videos on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. It’s from a Canadian group called The Wet Spots, who I’ve become more and more obsessed with. Be sure to check out the bottom of this post for another awesome video!

At the moment, the chat room is usually pretty dead. Although, you can make it so you can chat to your Facebook friends without ever leaving Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. That all being said, there are plans in the works to start doing scheduled chats a few nights a week. There is even a discussion going on in the Suggestion Box about it.

Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is also elsewhere around the web. Firstly, we’re on Facebook! “Like” our fan page to get site updates, participate in all sorts of conversations and get the chance to see exclusive content. You can also follow me, @blogaholica, on Twitter to get LBA updates.

So, if you didn’t know about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, you do now! To summarize, it’s a free online social networking community for lifestyle, adult and sex bloggers and I would love it if you would check it out and if you feel compelled, become a member today! If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hestitate to leave your comments below or contact me. Thanks for checking it out!

And here’s the other video I promised, the first episode of The Adventures of Penis and Vagina. A comedic look at the discovery of anal sex!

Conversation Starters

  • Would you become a member of Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous? Why or why not?
  • Do you consider yourself an adult, lifestyle or sex blogger?
  • What did you think of The Wet Spots? Did you look at more of their videos on YouTube?