The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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First Week of December


We’re all sick again… I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this many colds one right after the other. I feel like most of us have been sick since the snow first fell. The kids are missing tons of school because of it, which completely sucks and I’m quite worried about how this is going to affect their grades and school future. I know Keirnan has missed a lot of school, a lot of it!

The Boyfriend goes to get his cast removed on Wednesday and then they’ll re-assess to see if it’s healed or if they’ll need to re-cast it. We’re both incredibly excited for it to come off and his fingertips are getting impatient. I’ve never seen anyone’s hands get so dry, but his fingertips are grossly dry and peeling. He had his first day back at work yesterday, after almost 2 weeks off because of the break-in and I was surprised when he came in the door afterwards in quite a good mood. Today, he says he feels sore and exhausted, but I think that’s because he’s getting hit with the cold that the rest of us have.

I’m starting to feel very cooped up in the house, something that happens every winter. I’m really not a fan of the cold, in any way. I really despise the cold and avoid it like the plague. So in the last 2 weeks, the only time I’ve left the house is when I’m being picked up to go to Wal-Mart for groceries. I haven’t just left the house to leave the house, I haven’t gone to anyone else’s house, I haven’t just stepped out the front door. And of course, since the kids have been sick, I’m cooped up in the house with all the kids. It’s causing me to go a bit crazy, to be quite honest.

I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube lately and have become quite obsessed with Hank Green (one half of my favorite YouTube-ing duo, The Vlogbrothers), and when I say obsessed, it’s a bit of an understatement. I officially have a crush on another woman’s husband! I really enjoy watching all of his videos and listening to his songs and just hearing about all these things that he’s done. I wish I could be him… Really, there’s a whole bunch of YouTubers that I’m starting to become obsessed with but Hank Green seems to be the highest on my list.

The other day, I had noticed that I didn’t track my period for the month of November. I checked all the different places that I normally put at least something to let me know, but I couldn’t find anything. I turned to The Boyfriend, “Hey Babe, did I have a period in November?” and he responds, “No, I was just thinking that, I don’t think you did”. I eyed him up and down, “Oh, and when did you think you should let me in on this?!?”. We can’t say that that means anything though, because my periods haven’t exactly gone back to normal completely. It had only been 3 months of having them around the same time every month, prior to that they were all over the place. Some months I’d have no period for months on end and other months I’d have two periods in one month. I’m hoping it’s just my body having an issue with period regulation and not that other thing that a lack of period can mean. If it is, I don’t feel like it is…

Well, that’s pretty much the last few days in 600 words or less. Next week, we have to get Christmas presents, which should be fun – though I have no idea what we’re going to get the kids and eventually I’ve gotta get the kids in to see the doctor and the dentist. I swear I say that every December… How’s your first week of December going?


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Merry Christmas Eve!!


It’s officially that time of the year again! Except this year, all the kids will be with me and The Boyfriend and that’s very exciting for me. We went a little bit overboard with the gift buying this year, though we didn’t realize this until we were sitting up until 3 AM last night wrapping presents.

We’re going over the my Mom’s tonight and spending the night to be able to open presents in the morning with my kids and my sister’s kids. It’s going to be a very crowded and probably mostly uncomfortable night, but it will most likely bring back memories of Christmas past. I’m hoping for the best!  I’m excited about getting to see my sister, and the kids are excited about getting to see their cousins. It’s too bad we don’t get to see them more…

So, wrapping presents was a total gong show! I wouldn’t say I’m the worst Christmas present wrapper in the world, but it’s definitely very frustrating. The entire time, I kept telling The Boyfriend, “Don’t think this is any reflection on my creative ability!”, because it seemed to just get harder and harder. Especially with all the odd shaped gifts we got this year, from a sort of octagonal shaped looking thing, to a completely round gift, let me tell you this, it was NOT easy! On multiple occasions, I was more than ready to throw in the towel. But, it’s all done now. I think by the time we had finished, we had wrapped 18 or some odd gifts!

The kids better be darn grateful is all I can say about that! This is going to be by far one of the best year for presents for them, they better appreciate it. Especially being that they haven’t been that appreciative of much at all this year. All night last night, I just kept thinking they didn’t deserve to be so spoiled when they haven’t been very well behaved lately. But I don’t think that’s the Christmas spirit… Too bad!

We went to the kids Christmas concert the other night, and that was a rather interesting experience. This year, they held it at a church, which I had a lot of issues with. I was so nervous about going into a church after 10ish years of not being a church. Not sure why I was nervous, but almost as soon as we pulled into the parking lot I felt incredibly nauseous. I got over it once the concert started, and hardly even noticed we were in church. I’m waiting for my Mom to send me the videos and pictures of that one, and then you bet your butt, I’ll be showing off!

We had our Christmas lunch at work on Thursday and that was awesome. It was very spur of the moment, and we ended up having Chinese food, which I really wasn’t excited about. It ended up being a much better experience than I had expected. First of all, I didn’t hate Chinese food. The smell was a little much, but I really liked the dough on the chicken balls and I love broccoli and beef. Other than that, I didn’t really try much. We did a little gift exchange where we re-gifted things we already had and then wrote hints on the cards, drew numbers for a plastic container and then one-by-one picked gifts. I landed me a pretty sweet picture of Marilyn Monroe, which I thought was pretty wicked! And now I finally have something to put up in my bathroom!!

Other than that, my week has been filled with Netflix watching (again, thanks to my Mom) and listening to The Wailin’ Jennys, who I’ve officially decided I love more than anything! I’ve even decided on the song I want playing at my funeral… But that’s for another post. I’ve been watching a heck of a lot of Mad Men lately, and so far I’m really loving it, though I kind of knew I would. I think I’m on Season 2 right now. I just started watching Huff and am impatiently awaiting Season 3 of The Big C – which is an absolutely epic show! I haven’t seen season finale’s done that good since ER!!

Well, I think that’s pretty much all I’ve got for today. Check back on the 1st for my New Year’s Resolutions and you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and absolutely Happy Holidays! From my family to yours!


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New Year’s Resolutions… Already?!?!?


I’ve been thinking a lot about resolutions this year. Every year since I started having kids, I’ve always said that I’m going to make New Year’s Resolutions and every year, I end up not doing it until after the new year. The end of this year, although very tumultuous and crazy for me, has really been a great one. There’s been a lot of positives to this year end, the top of my list right now is that The Boyfriend got the promotion he was hoping for at work, I haven’t missed a rent payment in a few months, we have credits on all our bills, and both The Boyfriend and I finally got cellphones – which has been on our list of things to get for a really long time!

I figure if this year end is being so good to us, then there’s a very good chance that it will continue into the new year. I’m not counting any chickens before they hatch, but I just get this feeling that it’s going to be a wicked year. Albeit, I said 2011 was going to be a really great year, and that’s only been right over the last few months. I didn’t do anything that I had set out to do in 2011. But I plan for this year to be different. WAY different!

Now I do plan on posting a resolutions list, but that’s going to be happening closer to the new year. My biggest resolution this year is to begin blogging more often. I’ve been missing it more than you can imagine lately. I’m not sure where I lost that spark, or where it went to for that while there. I am determined to get it back. My goal is to blog everyday for January and if that works out, I really want to continue it. It’ll be made even easier by the fact that I can now blog from my phone while I’m at work (bored out of my skull!).

I’ve got tons of blogging-related goals and only a few real-time goals… Kind of odd 😉

In other news…

The kids have been major pains in the butts lately. Between Kaeidyn and Kenzie’s outrageous attitudes and Keirnan and Carter’s never-ending energy, there have been many days where I am just about ready to throw in the towel. Kaeidyn’s biggest issue right now is believing that the whole world is against her and everything is unfair. It’s unfair that she only gets to spend one night a week at Grandma’s, while the boys get to go there everyday to be babysat. It’s unfair that she doesn’t get her hair curled or make-up put on before school. It’s unfair that she has to wear pants when it’s cold outside because she would really rather wear a skirt. Every day it seems like we have an argument about whether or not the world is being fair to her.

Kenzie’s been talking back in the worst way possible. I have tried just about every disciplinary technique that I know of, and nothing seems to be quelching that fire. Today was probably one of the worst days in his talking back history. The boys had made a mess of the couch and I said, “Look what you’re doing?!?” and he got right up in my face and in this snobby voice replied, “Look, look!”, like some cocky teenager. I was taken aback by it, to say the least. I need to figure something out there, but most of the time, I’m just so shocked that my response time is a little weak.

I’ve been working really hard on getting certain areas of the house clean, but it seems like no matter how much work I do, by the next day it’s right back to where it was. The housework is just getting out of my hands now and most of the day I spend very frustrated by the overwhelming stress of this mess. I want to start from scratch so bad!

I can’t wait for Christmas this year! We actually got the kids some really amazing gifts and for the first time in years, we’re having a family Christmas dinner at my Mom’s. My sister and her kids and my brother will all be there. It’ll be just like the old days, in a way and I think it’ll be very nice. *crosses fingers*

Well, I think I’m done for the night. It was really great writing again. Have a great night to you all and Happy Holidays from my family to yours!