The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants


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Damn Cellphones…


I absolutely despise The Boyfriend’s way of handling an upset girlfriend. You’d think since he lived most of his life surrounded by girls and women, he’d be a little bit better at dealing with these situations. But honestly, he’s not. Him and I rarely have issues, so it’s not really a surprise that he doesn’t know how to deal with them with me, but you’d think he’d figure out by now that I absolutely hate the silent treatment.

I don’t want problems to just go away, I want to work through them so that we both feel comfortable at the end of the day. So that we’re not going to bed without touching each other, and so that the days don’t feel so awkward. I hate that even when he’s the one that caused the problem, I’m normally the one that gives in on my anger at him first, because I can’t stand the fact that we’re not touching or talking nicely to each other like we normally do. I just sometimes wish he’d be a little bit more compassionate.

I go to use his cellphone yesterday to show my Mom a video on YouTube, and before he gives me his phone he starts deleting stuff off it. I joke around about it at first and he makes some remark about how it’ll probably make me mad. Well, just that thought alone made me mad, and I definitely didn’t want to hear what it was in front of my Mom. I’m never sure how I’m going to react to these things anymore. In my dark days, I’d snap right away. But nowadays, I just don’t know. I told him “I don’t want to talk about this now, but I’m mad at you now regardless”. The rest of the night, we didn’t say a single thing to each other and he knew I was definitely not happy.

It’s been over 24 hours since the incident and not once has he even tried to bring it up or apologize or explain. We’ve sat far away from each other all day, when we fell asleep last night there was no touching at all and we both rolled our separate ways. I’m still really angry about it and he seems to have forgotten that it ever happened. And I hate that!

On one hand, I want to confront him, like I did when I got that upset that he was watching porn while I was sleeping just down the stairs. But that felt really crappy and I felt like it didn’t solve anything. I mean, yes, after I freaked, he stopped watching porn without me, or at least making it where I couldn’t find out he had. Though I have a feeling that this is exactly what he was deleting off his cellphone… Damn cellphones!!

On the other hand, I just want to forget that it happened and chalk it all up to boys being boys or whatever. I don’t even know. Just not confront him. Ideally, he would come to me and tell me whatever his little secret is and explain why he wanted to keep it a secret and then we would have an argument like normal couples do… I just don’t know what I want to do or how I want to see this end or anything really. I just know that I despise it!!


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New Year’s Resolutions… Already?!?!?


I’ve been thinking a lot about resolutions this year. Every year since I started having kids, I’ve always said that I’m going to make New Year’s Resolutions and every year, I end up not doing it until after the new year. The end of this year, although very tumultuous and crazy for me, has really been a great one. There’s been a lot of positives to this year end, the top of my list right now is that The Boyfriend got the promotion he was hoping for at work, I haven’t missed a rent payment in a few months, we have credits on all our bills, and both The Boyfriend and I finally got cellphones – which has been on our list of things to get for a really long time!

I figure if this year end is being so good to us, then there’s a very good chance that it will continue into the new year. I’m not counting any chickens before they hatch, but I just get this feeling that it’s going to be a wicked year. Albeit, I said 2011 was going to be a really great year, and that’s only been right over the last few months. I didn’t do anything that I had set out to do in 2011. But I plan for this year to be different. WAY different!

Now I do plan on posting a resolutions list, but that’s going to be happening closer to the new year. My biggest resolution this year is to begin blogging more often. I’ve been missing it more than you can imagine lately. I’m not sure where I lost that spark, or where it went to for that while there. I am determined to get it back. My goal is to blog everyday for January and if that works out, I really want to continue it. It’ll be made even easier by the fact that I can now blog from my phone while I’m at work (bored out of my skull!).

I’ve got tons of blogging-related goals and only a few real-time goals… Kind of odd 😉

In other news…

The kids have been major pains in the butts lately. Between Kaeidyn and Kenzie’s outrageous attitudes and Keirnan and Carter’s never-ending energy, there have been many days where I am just about ready to throw in the towel. Kaeidyn’s biggest issue right now is believing that the whole world is against her and everything is unfair. It’s unfair that she only gets to spend one night a week at Grandma’s, while the boys get to go there everyday to be babysat. It’s unfair that she doesn’t get her hair curled or make-up put on before school. It’s unfair that she has to wear pants when it’s cold outside because she would really rather wear a skirt. Every day it seems like we have an argument about whether or not the world is being fair to her.

Kenzie’s been talking back in the worst way possible. I have tried just about every disciplinary technique that I know of, and nothing seems to be quelching that fire. Today was probably one of the worst days in his talking back history. The boys had made a mess of the couch and I said, “Look what you’re doing?!?” and he got right up in my face and in this snobby voice replied, “Look, look!”, like some cocky teenager. I was taken aback by it, to say the least. I need to figure something out there, but most of the time, I’m just so shocked that my response time is a little weak.

I’ve been working really hard on getting certain areas of the house clean, but it seems like no matter how much work I do, by the next day it’s right back to where it was. The housework is just getting out of my hands now and most of the day I spend very frustrated by the overwhelming stress of this mess. I want to start from scratch so bad!

I can’t wait for Christmas this year! We actually got the kids some really amazing gifts and for the first time in years, we’re having a family Christmas dinner at my Mom’s. My sister and her kids and my brother will all be there. It’ll be just like the old days, in a way and I think it’ll be very nice. *crosses fingers*

Well, I think I’m done for the night. It was really great writing again. Have a great night to you all and Happy Holidays from my family to yours!


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Loving Google!!!


Okay, I know I’ve said it about a million times and all the people who aren’t in it, probably won”t get it, but Google is the best ever!!!

So this morning, as always, I check my Google Reader (+1 for Google!!), then I run across this post about a Gameboy Music Video. In the description, they talk about Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” on a Gameboy, so curiosity makes the cat happy, so I followed the link.

Next thing you know, I’m watching this internet meme of two of the BEST musicians on YouTube (+2 for Google). The next half hour is spent watching some of the best YouTube videos I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the story:

Jake says to Kurt, you can’t play any real songs on the recorder. With drumpad and recorder in hand, Kurt proves Jake wrong by playing Justin Bieber’s “Baby” and then challenges Jake to do better.

The next few videos take them through the challenge as more and more instrument types are introduced including a CROCKenspiel, a cellphone, a Zither and the final video of the Sqeakaphone.

After the final video, the two guys get together, Jake on guitar and Kurt on his drumpad, and bang out some amazing music!! While watching the challenge, you think, “Yeah, these guys are great musicians because of their ear and innovation”, but you definitely don’t expect what you hear!

Below is the video that started the whole challenge. From within the video, you can click on the links at the end of the video to take you to the challenge response, or you can scroll down to see the links to all the videos including the one where they get together.

 

So readers, what do you think of this internet meme? What songs would you like to hear and what types of creative instruments can you think of or have you played?

The Entire Meme:

  1. Kurt vs. Jake:“Baby”… on RECORDER?!?!
  2. Jake vs. Kurt:“Telephone”… on GLOCKENSPIEL?!?!
  3. Kurt vs. Jake:“Moonlight Sonata”… on CROCKenspiel?!?
  4. Jake vs. Kurt:“Beat It”… on GAMEBOY?!?!
  5. Kurt vs. Jake: “Zelda’s Lullaby”… on OCARINA?!?!
  6. Jake vs. Kurt: “Only Girl (In the World)”… on ZITHER?!?!
  7. Kurt vs. Jake: “Pachelbel’s Canon”… on CELL PHONE?!?!
  8. Jake vs. Kurt: “Bad Romance”… on SQUEAKAPHONE?!?!
  9. When They Get TogetherJake and Kurt: Cover of Nelly’s “Just a Dream”

Leave your comments and let me know which one is your favorite!