The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

I Feel S**tty, Oh So S**tty…


Today, I am feeling like a shitty person. Just all around like every move I make is the wrong one. I woke up this morning with the kids to get them ready for school. I felt like I could’ve stayed up, but The Boyfriend was home and looked so comfy and warm that I crawled in next to him and proceeded to sleep half the day away…

Waking up by this point was easy, but my desire to do anything has been gone all day. I got none of the cleaning done that I had hoped to do today and I’ve felt overly stressed out for no apparent reason. Then, Kaeidyn and Kenzie came home from school.

Immediately, all the kids are out of control. It feels like every second someone is getting in trouble. After everyone’s fed, The Boyfriend and I finally get beyond annoyed with not being listened to and send Kenzie and Keirnan upstairs for an early bedtime. I am consumed with guilt because they’ve been so terrible that they are now missing their Christmas concert. They were warned that if they kept it up they wouldn’t be going…

Alas, I still feel like the worst mom in the world. Because really, I didn’t want to go in the first place and I’m halfway grateful that the boys were so rotten… It saves me from having to do something I was dreading and isn’t that just horrible?…

So now, I’m sitting here desperately trying to keep myself from thinking too much about anything because I just feel like everything I do is crappy… I suck and I hate thinking about that…

In other, completely unrelated news, I got the most interesting request today. A message on FetLife about my past erotica writing and this person that I’m chatting with asks if I would write a story with them in it. I had never even considered this as an option but now that it’s been presented to me, I’m incredibly intrigued and think I might give it a serious go. Should be interesting!

Well, back to keeping my mind occupied…


Author: Valerie Rayne

Valerie Rayne is a wannabe kinkster, blog-a-holic and mom of five ranting about life, love and blogging. She is also the founder of The Erotic Writers Group, a community for #EroticWriters and #EroticReaders to connect, share, learn and inspire.

3 thoughts on “I Feel S**tty, Oh So S**tty…

  1. I’m sure it was a hard thing to do however if you warned your kids you made the right choice. Hopefully next time something like this happens they’ll take you more seriously.


    PS…If you like to write erotic stories feel free to keep me in mind ….I’ll happily be in one 😉

    • I have to constantly remind myself to follow through with punishments that I give the kids, or else how are they going to learn. Yes, I feel like a crappy mom for the moment, but I think in the long run (or at least, I sincerely hope), it will work out for the better.

      I will definitely keep you in mind for the erotic story. First, I have to get this one done for the person that requested it and frankly, I’m not finding it to be very easy. It’s so much more difficult when there is a specific person on the other end of the story that you are trying to please, rather than a huge audience of people…

      • I think it will work out for the better.

        Thanks 😀 If you do a story with Me feel free to share with an audience it you want….I don’t mind 😉

        Hope you & Your family had a nice Christmas!!!

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