The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

Hard Adjustments

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It has felt like a series of very long days for the last few ones. The kids are stressing me out, the constant cleaning (and never being completely satisfied with it) is wearing me down and I haven’t been sleeping very well at all. I’ve been relentlessly snappy and nagging towards The Boyfriend, even though he doesn’t really deserve it and I am desperately craving a vacation – not that I know what that is, but I’m craving it!

Today is a day that for some reason, is my making my stomach twist into knots. After staying up way too late last night as a storm quickly passed over us and woke up all 4 of the kids at 2:30 in the morning, I got woken up this morning by the neighbor kids screaming at my kids through the window. Then, after all the kids went outside to play, Carter ended up hitting his head off another kids head and his stitches started bleeding. They look fine and I’m hoping they’ll take them out and leave them out, but still… Freaks a mother out!

It doesn’t help at all when you hear Kaeidyn’s blood-curdling screams because of it and it’s harder to calm her down than it is to calm the one that’s hurt down. It makes my heart race and my chest feel heavy trying to keep both of them calm, so that I can keep myself calm. Which led to more nitpicking towards The Boyfriend today, when I started, “You’re the one with the first aid certificate, why am I the one that has to actually do it?”, which he rebutted, “I tried to look, you just jumped right in there!”. Well, excuse me!

My body has been fighting back to all my movement and cleaning, which seems to eat up so much of my energy. Three floors, an endless stream of dishes and neverending garbage buildup, tends to fill my day with more than I can handle, all by myself. But every time the kids or The Boyfriend pitch in, I just feel like I have to work that much harder to clean up after their mistakes. Maybe I’m just being too picky… No, I’m definitely being too picky!

Then, my online world is picking up on me rather fast and I apparently wasn’t prepared enough for it to do that. Members have really begun participating on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, my Twitter feed seems to have something I have to respond to multiple times a day and it’s the first time in a long time that I’m not inspired or motivated to deal with any of it. I do, because I told myself I would, but I’m having a hard time forcing myself to get in front of the computer to do these things. When I do get on the computer, I only spend long enough to check these things out before getting off…

It’ll just take some time to adjust. Let’s hope!

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Author: Valerie Rayne

Valerie Rayne is a wannabe kinkster, blog-a-holic and mom of five ranting about life, love and blogging. She is also the founder of The Erotic Writers Group, a community for #EroticWriters and #EroticReaders to connect, share, learn and inspire.

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