The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

Drunk for the First Time in Years

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On the Saturday that just passed, my Mom took the kids for the majority of the day so that The Boyfriend and I could clean the house. It took us two days, but the living room has been rearranged and is, I’m very excited to say, clean! We’ve flipped it around, so everything that was once on the other side of the room is now on the opposite side, the floors have all been vacuumed like there’s no tomorrow, and absolutely everything has been wiped or washed. Now we just have a few rooms left to conquer but at least we’re making more serious progress than ever before!

Then Mom insisted that The Boyfriend and I take a night out and so, she lined up a babysitter, she took us to karaoke and she bought us our drinks. It was honestly one of the best nights we’ve had out in awhile and two days later, we’re still talking about how much fun we had with each other. I even wore my polka dot dress out in public and was showered with compliments, which was really fantastic and I almost forgot how much I like that 😉

I got to sing a total of four songs and I was more than excited when the karaoke hostess remembered me, even though I haven’t been to karaoke since before The Boyfriend and I got together almost 4 years ago (holy, we’ve only got like 2 months until we’re there…). I did my usual showtunes, All That Jazz and Cabaret. Only one tiny screw up on either of those, but I was having a great time and The Boyfriend and my Mom were the best cheerleaders in the world! Then, after I was right liquored, I did I’m Yours by Jason Mraz and Your Love in my Drug by Ke$ha. I even danced to another person singing Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot.

Somehow, The Boyfriend and I managed to get more drunk than we’ve been in the last 4 years as well. A jug and a half shared between us, plus 3 bottles of beer each, by the time we were heading home, we were both stumbling and complaining about how drunk we felt. Though we were both made undeniably happy when we were able to go to McDonald’s at 2:30 in the morning. Never once did we consider how we might feel the next morning and somewhere along the line, I think I lost my wallet…

We got home and fell asleep immediately, just barely able to give each other a kiss goodnight. We had walked home from the bar which is only a few blocks away, but with being drunk, the walk knocked us right out. Less than 5 hours later, The Boyfriend was waking up with his first signs of a hangover. I think we didn’t sleep past 9:30 the next morning, because his hangover got increasingly worse. I felt fine and I think that made him jealous.

Then, we finished cleaning the living room. Really, he did most of the work and I just wiped stuff down and put things where they belonged. We kept commenting on how good of a cleaning team we made, because he’d take care of all the big stuff and I was like our detailer. He almost got slapped during the cleaning when we were moving the furniture. We’re about to move the entertainment stand, which is quite a big piece of furniture and he starts giving me instructions on where to hold and how to lift it. I snapped, “Boyfriend, I’ve moved furniture before, I know what I’m doing!!”. When we moved the computer desk, he kept his mouth shut.

Somewhere along the line, since Saturday, I hurt my legs or something. Every time I step down, I’m getting a searing pain in my calf. I can’t flex my foot without hurting my ankle and I’ve been limping around like a little old lady ever since. No idea what I did, no idea how to make it stop hurting, but today, I am most unhappy about it.

So, that was my weekend in 700 words, give or take. How was your weekend? Do anything out of the ordinary? Get anything accomplished? Share your weekend stories in the comments!

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Author: Valerie Rayne

Valerie Rayne is a wannabe kinkster, blog-a-holic and mom of five ranting about life, love and blogging. She is also the founder of The Erotic Writers Group, a community for #EroticWriters and #EroticReaders to connect, share, learn and inspire.

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