The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

Damn Cellphones…


I absolutely despise The Boyfriend’s way of handling an upset girlfriend. You’d think since he lived most of his life surrounded by girls and women, he’d be a little bit better at dealing with these situations. But honestly, he’s not. Him and I rarely have issues, so it’s not really a surprise that he doesn’t know how to deal with them with me, but you’d think he’d figure out by now that I absolutely hate the silent treatment.

I don’t want problems to just go away, I want to work through them so that we both feel comfortable at the end of the day. So that we’re not going to bed without touching each other, and so that the days don’t feel so awkward. I hate that even when he’s the one that caused the problem, I’m normally the one that gives in on my anger at him first, because I can’t stand the fact that we’re not touching or talking nicely to each other like we normally do. I just sometimes wish he’d be a little bit more compassionate.

I go to use his cellphone yesterday to show my Mom a video on YouTube, and before he gives me his phone he starts deleting stuff off it. I joke around about it at first and he makes some remark about how it’ll probably make me mad. Well, just that thought alone made me mad, and I definitely didn’t want to hear what it was in front of my Mom. I’m never sure how I’m going to react to these things anymore. In my dark days, I’d snap right away. But nowadays, I just don’t know. I told him “I don’t want to talk about this now, but I’m mad at you now regardless”. The rest of the night, we didn’t say a single thing to each other and he knew I was definitely not happy.

It’s been over 24 hours since the incident and not once has he even tried to bring it up or apologize or explain. We’ve sat far away from each other all day, when we fell asleep last night there was no touching at all and we both rolled our separate ways. I’m still really angry about it and he seems to have forgotten that it ever happened. And I hate that!

On one hand, I want to confront him, like I did when I got that upset that he was watching porn while I was sleeping just down the stairs. But that felt really crappy and I felt like it didn’t solve anything. I mean, yes, after I freaked, he stopped watching porn without me, or at least making it where I couldn’t find out he had. Though I have a feeling that this is exactly what he was deleting off his cellphone… Damn cellphones!!

On the other hand, I just want to forget that it happened and chalk it all up to boys being boys or whatever. I don’t even know. Just not confront him. Ideally, he would come to me and tell me whatever his little secret is and explain why he wanted to keep it a secret and then we would have an argument like normal couples do… I just don’t know what I want to do or how I want to see this end or anything really. I just know that I despise it!!

Author: Valerie Rayne

Valerie Rayne is a wannabe kinkster, blog-a-holic and mom of six ranting about life, love and blogging. She is also the creator of WTMFI Wednesdays, a weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality.

5 thoughts on “Damn Cellphones…

  1. Just a few things come to mind. Open communication is key, even though the porn watching can be a touchy subject (I rarely watch it since my girl keeps me quite busy…yaya lucky me 😛 ) You want to work your issue through…does he? For whatever reason he might hate it when he has to face you…but it seems maybe he does need to man-up…This next idea might be a bit drastic but could certainly get a conversation started…instead of no contact as you go to sleep…nudge him/push him off the bed…with a slight…OMG did I do that comment…and see where that brings your conversation? Hehe good luck!

    • I agree with you that communication is key to the success in any relationship. Last night, we ended up having a great little romp, pretty typical for us after how long it’s been since we last had sex. Afterwards I turned to him and said quite seriously that I was still mad at him. A cheeky grin spread across his face, he said he knew and he rolled over. I’ve honestly never seen him avoid something so much. I wish that he would just straight out, man-up and tell me whatever it was, because leaving me to just guess makes my thoughts go to the absolute worst possible thing.

      He’s definitely a guy that does not like confrontation and he avoids it like the plague. He doesn’t like to fight, he doesn’t like awkward tense-ness and so I’m sure it’s bugging him as much as it’s bugging me, and I’m almost nervous to find out what it really is. Because one of two things is going to happen: either I’m going to feel like it wasn’t as bad as I thought and this whole thing is a complete over-reaction or it’s going to be exactly what I think it is or worse and this whole thing is going to be a completely under-reaction. And either way, I’m the one that feels like an ass in the end. I work really hard on not letting my green jealous monster out in this relationship, as it’s completely ruined other relationships in the past, but this time, it’s rearing it’s really ugly green head.

      Thanks for the comment by the way! Interesting options of handling this situation 😉

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