The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

This post is intended for adults 18+


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Some of My Posts on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous


I’ve been working really hard on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous lately and have written a couple blog posts that I’d love for you to check out and leave your feedback on. I’ve been trying really hard to write more about blogging, though it’s not as easy as it seems!

You can always check out my latest blog posts on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous by visiting my blog page. So, here’s some of the posts that I’ve been doing:

  • 10 Songs About Blogging and the Internet
    Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous finally jumped on the YouTube bandwagon!! To commemorate, here are 10 YouTube videos that features blogging, the internet, Twitter and Facebook.
  • 800+ Post Ideas for Your Blog
     Days of scouring the internet has resulted in the most comprehensive list of blog post ideas on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Take these ideas, apply them to your blog, and you’ll have enough posts to last you 2 1/2 years, assuming you post everyday!
  • 7 Tips for a Mind-Boggling Orgasm
     These 7 tips are sure to help you reach a mind-boggling, leg-shaking, face-numbing, body-floating orgasm! I’ll give you a sneak peak at 3 of the tips:

    • Get Naked
    • Foreplay First
    • Don’t Take Things Too Seriously
  • My Top 5 Blogging Tips
    What every blogger should know! 5 of my best blogging tips including facts and statistics like “readers are 56% more likely to click on a blue link“.
  • One Chore: The Dishes
    I have two erotic stories/fantasies written on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. This one is about domestic discipline, which is also a forum topic. My other erotic story/fantasy on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous is Caged Cuckold which, you guessed it, is all about cuckoldry.

So there’s some of my favorite blog posts that I’ve written on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous. Leave a comment and let me know which one is your favorite and if you haven’t become a member on Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous yet, you should!


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Neglectful


So I haven’t been doing much blogging lately. To think of it, I haven’t been on my computer much lately. I have been being completely neglectful of a ton of my “responsibilities”. Blogging’s not getting done, cleaning hasn’t gotten done, I’ve basically been doing a whole lot of nothing.

I have to say that I’m not enjoying it one little bit. I keep trying to figure out why it’s happening so much lately, and I think I’m just losing steam. I have nothing to write about lately. Nothing exciting is happening in my life (bit of a lie…), and I haven’t been scouring the internet for anything interesting (because I haven’t really been doing much on my computer) and I’m just finding it overall too hard to get motivated to do anything.

Tomorrow is my last day of full-time maintenance coordinator and I hate to say it, but I couldn’t be happier. I officially only like that job when it’s full-time. The only good part of being full-time is that you’re there to deal with things when it happens, so when people mention things days later, it’s easier to remember what they’re talking about, instead of sitting there with a clueless and quizzical look on  your face.

It’s been interesting how much I’ve had to deal with this last week. From a huge poplar tree that got struck by lightning and now has structural damage (yes, apparently trees can have structural damage, not just houses…) and will cost over $5000 to take down, to a bunch of places that had flooding, thanks to our bad weather, that resulted in drywall having to be torn down and carpets completely removed, to ex-tenants calling in and yelling about how little they got back from their security deposits… It’s been crazy to say the least.

Home life has been decent outside of all the darn storms. Over the last weekend, we had one storm rip through here that had me so panicked that I went and actually hid out in the bathroom. I’ve been so worried about getting the kids too worried about storms, that I normally will just try to be chill and you only really know I’m scared because of my body language. But this one came on so fast, the clouds looked so vicious and then it started hailing in the most wicked way and I just couldn’t contain the fear any longer. So I grabbed my laptop and ran my ass downstairs and slowly The Boyfriend had them follow me and we sat and watched YouTube until the hail stopped.

My fear and these storms is just getting out of control now. The littlest of wind or rain or dark clouds, gets me all riled up. It’s to the point where I’m literally considering talking to my doctor about getting anti-anxiety meds just for the harsh panic attacks I’ve been having. I’ve never had such physical ones before. All my old panic attacks were mostly mental and the physical parts of it were mostly chest pains from my heart feeling like it was going to explode or collapse, depending on the trigger.

Whereas these panic attacks are an all over the body type of physical thing. It starts with this crampy feeling in my stomach. Almost like I’ve done a few too many crunches during a workout. Then I get really sweaty, like I’ve just drank three or four hot coffees, one right after the other. All my joints start hurting, and I start breathing really heavily. Then the pacing begins and by this point the storm is normally done and I get hit with a wicked headache that feels like I smoked WAY too much weed.

I think I probably would deal with all better if it wasn’t happening day after day after day. I just am getting to the point where it’s getting to be too much. Especially being that a lot of the storms keep hitting at night, right as I’m going to get into bed. So I end up staying up way later than I should and by the next morning, I’m so exhausted that getting out of bed in the morning is the worst part of my day…

I’m really lucky to have The Boyfriend though. He has been so great with my fears lately! The night that I decided to go down to the bathroom, he helped me get all the kids down there and came in and checked on me and then went and checked on the storm for me and then came in the bathroom to report. Last night was probably one of the best nights for comforting from here.

I’ve been feeling pretty guilty for how many late nights I’ve made him have lately. Between my super over-active sex drive and these stupid storms, four hours of sleep a night is about all he’s getting. And he’s been wonderful for both. Last night, as the storm raged, he let me rest my head on his chest (even though he doesn’t like sleeping on his back – probably only because I’ve made him aware of the snoring that occurs in that position. On his side, he doesn’t snore…), even though it was incredibly hot in our room, and every time the thunder would roll or crackle, he’d gently rub my upper arm. For the first time in forever, I was able to roll over and go to sleep even though it had begun to rain.

He’s no longer making a mocking face at me when I start to get worried and now automatically goes into gentle and caring boyfriend mode. The second he sees the “I’m worried” look across my face, he quickly grabs me for a hug. While it may not calm me much, it feels good in hindsight.

I’ve decided, I’m blaming the neglectfulness of the blog, on the storms…


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Trying Not to Feel At All Defeated…


Sometimes, all my online work seems to be such a waste of time. I hate to be kind of a party pooper here, but I feel like I’m working so hard on all this stuff sometimes for nobody’s benefit but mine. And while that would be fine if my blogging goals were the same as they were a year ago or four years ago, times and goals have changed. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be whining right now.

I’d still be going on about, “I’m writing for me!”, instead of creating social networks in the hopes of making some sort of epic connection with another great adult blogger… Yes, you guessed it, this is 100% about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, which I’ve been working so hard at, that I have two little perfect circles on my lap from where my laptop gets really hot when I leave it on for 12 hours straight!!

There are 17 members on the site right now, and only 1 of those members actually participated on the site and that’s because she’s my sister (not an adult blogger) and because I practically begged her! To try to keep member participation up, I decided to create Community Guidelines that made where after 3 months of inactivity, members could have their sites deactivated…

Scary statistic: 65% of members have NOT been active in the last 3 months. So, I sent out notices to those members saying that their accounts were at risk of being terminated. This was mostly for practicality purposes, being that currently I’m using the free version of Spruz, which only allows me to have 50 members.

But then I sort of chickened out. I don’t want to be mean to these potential members, even if they’re not participating. It feels good to be able to say that, including myself, there are 17 members on a social network I maintain. I’m happy that something lured 16 people into joining Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous… Needless to say, I’m reconsidering…

I’ve just been working so much harder than I had ever intended for a website. I’ve been stepping out of my networking comfort levels like crazy, because I really want this site to be something to someone other than me. I’m normally the type of person who won’t go out of my way to talk to people in real life, let alone get up the nerve to speak out online.

I’ve been doing so much of what some of my blogging idols tell you to do (ie., Problogger and Mashable), and it all seems to fall short. I’ve been commenting on people’s blogs (though I’m peeved that I can’t figure out how to comment on Ask Dan and Jennifer, because some of their stuff just grinds on my nerves), I’ve been posting other people’s links on Twitter and even mentioning people more and more (on the Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Twitter). I’ve been seeking out new blogs like a mad man and mostly, I’ve been crazy hard at work on content for Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous.

And no one seems to be participating. I got one mention on Twitter from the blogger of a blog that I tweeted out, and that was really exciting and I went off about it for awhile. But I wouldn’t say it’s participation… Here’s the tweet:

http://twitter.com/#!/LearningDD/status/98984709773733888

I’ve been adding stuff to the Facebook Fan page at least once a day, and none of the 4 fans have commented, I’ve had a couple of votes on questions after I posted them on my personal wall, but no new “likes” in months and not very much commenting or sharing, outside of me.

While I have had 3 members join Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous in the last month, I was disappointed today when I discovered that the bounce rate on the site is at about 85%, which isn’t good and definitely doesn’t meet my goals. Oh, now you want to know what my goals are? Well, that’s a little bit harder to explain, because I’m still trying to define what’s realistic…

I read a few blogs about blogging. Mostly from bloggers who do not need to work outside of the home, because they make enough money just blogging. Normally bloggers who have views on their blogs that are 10 times what I have on any of my blogs. A lot of them who promote their stuff and people eat it up like it’s steak, potatoes and gravy! I’m unsure if those types of things are even possible for adult bloggers, unless they do porn on the side…

So far I know that:

  • I want to have an average of 10 visitors each day, 2 of those being returning visitors
  • I want the average time on the site to be at least 10 minutes
  • I’d like a bounce rate under 50%
  • I’d like people to visit an average of 3 pages when they visit
  • I’d like 3 members, outside of my sister, to be truly active on the site
  • I’d like all the members to change their profile photos
  • I’d like to get some interaction going on both Facebook and Twitter
  • I’d like to make at least one connection with one other blogger that I find to be meaningful in some way…
Now, I need to figure out what it is exactly that I’m not doing right to be able to achieve these goals and that’s being so hard for me. When I’m getting no real response to all the hard work that I’m doing, it’s very hard to get motivated enough to go and add discussions to a speechless forum, or create a group that nobody will join, or write a blog post that no one cares enough about to share or comment on or visit more than once..
Don’t worry though, this is just a rant and I’m still working. I’ve come to realize that this kind of thing is a struggle for every blogger, just more so for some than others. It’s a hump and I’ll get over it eventually. It’s not like I’ve been doing all these things for a SUPER long time, so I’ll give it some more time. Just cross your fingers for me that it gets better…
Love,
Just another struggling blogger
This post is intended for adults 18+


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The 5 Most Popular Posts on The Rantings


I just surpassed my 100th post, so I thought it would be fun to share with you the 5 most viewed posts over the last *almost* year… It feels longer than that! So here’s to my wonderful readers and viewers, thanks for making these posts the most popular posts!

  1. 100+ Sexual Bucket List Ideas

    Seriously, the best post I ever could have written. This post has earned me so much traffic and almost every single day it gets views. So far, it has been viewed 1, 104 times!!

  2. Sexual To-Do List

    It’s an oldie, but apparently a goodie. It’s been viewed 118 times. It’s my own to do list that I created almost a year ago, so it’s changed and transformed over time.

  3. An Intro to Sexual Bucket Lists

    Of course, if 100+ Sexual Bucket List Ideas is on this list, then the intro to that post would be on this list too. 78 views on this one!

  4. My Sexual Pity Party

    Apparently 40 people like listening to me whine about all my sexual regrets.

  5. The Test Boy and Me

    So, I’m noticing a definite pattern here. My entire Top 5 is all sex-related… My first, technically, play party. The Test Boy lets me practice on him and I recount my excitement.

So which one of these posts is your favorite? Had you read any of them before? What posts weren’t on the list that you thought should have been?