The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

Trying Not to Feel At All Defeated…

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Sometimes, all my online work seems to be such a waste of time. I hate to be kind of a party pooper here, but I feel like I’m working so hard on all this stuff sometimes for nobody’s benefit but mine. And while that would be fine if my blogging goals were the same as they were a year ago or four years ago, times and goals have changed. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be whining right now.

I’d still be going on about, “I’m writing for me!”, instead of creating social networks in the hopes of making some sort of epic connection with another great adult blogger… Yes, you guessed it, this is 100% about Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous, which I’ve been working so hard at, that I have two little perfect circles on my lap from where my laptop gets really hot when I leave it on for 12 hours straight!!

There are 17 members on the site right now, and only 1 of those members actually participated on the site and that’s because she’s my sister (not an adult blogger) and because I practically begged her! To try to keep member participation up, I decided to create Community Guidelines that made where after 3 months of inactivity, members could have their sites deactivated…

Scary statistic: 65% of members have NOT been active in the last 3 months. So, I sent out notices to those members saying that their accounts were at risk of being terminated. This was mostly for practicality purposes, being that currently I’m using the free version of Spruz, which only allows me to have 50 members.

But then I sort of chickened out. I don’t want to be mean to these potential members, even if they’re not participating. It feels good to be able to say that, including myself, there are 17 members on a social network I maintain. I’m happy that something lured 16 people into joining Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous… Needless to say, I’m reconsidering…

I’ve just been working so much harder than I had ever intended for a website. I’ve been stepping out of my networking comfort levels like crazy, because I really want this site to be something to someone other than me. I’m normally the type of person who won’t go out of my way to talk to people in real life, let alone get up the nerve to speak out online.

I’ve been doing so much of what some of my blogging idols tell you to do (ie., Problogger and Mashable), and it all seems to fall short. I’ve been commenting on people’s blogs (though I’m peeved that I can’t figure out how to comment on Ask Dan and Jennifer, because some of their stuff just grinds on my nerves), I’ve been posting other people’s links on Twitter and even mentioning people more and more (on the Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous Twitter). I’ve been seeking out new blogs like a mad man and mostly, I’ve been crazy hard at work on content for Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous.

And no one seems to be participating. I got one mention on Twitter from the blogger of a blog that I tweeted out, and that was really exciting and I went off about it for awhile. But I wouldn’t say it’s participation… Here’s the tweet:

http://twitter.com/#!/LearningDD/status/98984709773733888

I’ve been adding stuff to the Facebook Fan page at least once a day, and none of the 4 fans have commented, I’ve had a couple of votes on questions after I posted them on my personal wall, but no new “likes” in months and not very much commenting or sharing, outside of me.

While I have had 3 members join Lifestyle Bloggers Anonymous in the last month, I was disappointed today when I discovered that the bounce rate on the site is at about 85%, which isn’t good and definitely doesn’t meet my goals. Oh, now you want to know what my goals are? Well, that’s a little bit harder to explain, because I’m still trying to define what’s realistic…

I read a few blogs about blogging. Mostly from bloggers who do not need to work outside of the home, because they make enough money just blogging. Normally bloggers who have views on their blogs that are 10 times what I have on any of my blogs. A lot of them who promote their stuff and people eat it up like it’s steak, potatoes and gravy! I’m unsure if those types of things are even possible for adult bloggers, unless they do porn on the side…

So far I know that:

  • I want to have an average of 10 visitors each day, 2 of those being returning visitors
  • I want the average time on the site to be at least 10 minutes
  • I’d like a bounce rate under 50%
  • I’d like people to visit an average of 3 pages when they visit
  • I’d like 3 members, outside of my sister, to be truly active on the site
  • I’d like all the members to change their profile photos
  • I’d like to get some interaction going on both Facebook and Twitter
  • I’d like to make at least one connection with one other blogger that I find to be meaningful in some way…
Now, I need to figure out what it is exactly that I’m not doing right to be able to achieve these goals and that’s being so hard for me. When I’m getting no real response to all the hard work that I’m doing, it’s very hard to get motivated enough to go and add discussions to a speechless forum, or create a group that nobody will join, or write a blog post that no one cares enough about to share or comment on or visit more than once..
Don’t worry though, this is just a rant and I’m still working. I’ve come to realize that this kind of thing is a struggle for every blogger, just more so for some than others. It’s a hump and I’ll get over it eventually. It’s not like I’ve been doing all these things for a SUPER long time, so I’ll give it some more time. Just cross your fingers for me that it gets better…
Love,
Just another struggling blogger
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Author: Valerie Rayne

Valerie Rayne is a wannabe kinkster, blog-a-holic and mom of five ranting about life, love and blogging. She is also the founder of The Erotic Writers Group, a community for #EroticWriters and #EroticReaders to connect, share, learn and inspire.

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