The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

My Poor Kaeidyn

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A few days ago, Kaeidyn started getting a cough. It lasted for about a day and a half and then she stopped coughing and stopped acting sick at all. A couple days passed, and yesterday, she was the sickest she’s been in years.

She spent almost the whole day lazing about and being super cuddly, something that is pretty rare for her. She had a fever and has a really bad cough. She was so pale and fragile looking. Needless to say, it was a pretty restless sleep with her last night.

First, I moved her from my bed back into her own and ended up having to lay with her for a bit so that she’d fall back asleep. She was so worried about her coughs keeping her up. Then constantly throughout the night, she kept coming into my room asking if she could crawl into bed with me. Eventually I gave and said yes.

Then she started complaining about her stomach. I fell asleep rubbing her stomach and every so often she’d wake up saying that she hadn’t slept or that she wasn’t going to get any sleep. Every time, she’d fall back asleep.

By 7:30 this morning, I had Kaeidyn and Keirnan at my feet and Kenzie and Keirnan up beside me. They let me sleep until 9 AM, so it ended up working out in my favor. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like I slept at all! Though apparently, that’s not something new for me.

This entire week has felt like I’ve gotten no sleep. I wake up extremely exhausted, most mornings I end up dozing off in the chair while the kids watch a movie. Everyone just keeps telling me to exercise, and that is becoming annoying.

Yesterday, I got an “Are you pregnant!!!!?” from my aunt that I haven’t seen in awhile, I’ve set out a bunch of goals regarding my health and every single day, it just doesn’t happen. I keep saying “There’s always tomorrow”, and apparently that’s just biting me in the ass.

The exercise thing is only annoying because if it were that simple, don’t you think I’d be doing it? My biggest worry is the pain. Could you imagine me “marching in place” or even worse squats?!?!? My knees are bad, my back is bad, my hands are bad. Everything I do seems to cause me pain, even something as simple as washing the dishes.

The other night I was only able to get half an hour of guitar in before my hands cramped up so bad. I couldn’t even type – and we all know how upset I get when I can’t type… I haven’t started taking my meds again yet, maybe I should. I just hate how something like exercise seems so daunting to me because I’m completely worried about the pain I’m going to be in. And I also know that there’s a good chance the exercise will eventually help the pain I’m in, but I don’t want to wait for eventually and have to go through all the pain in the process. Argh…

Author: Valerie Rayne

Valerie Rayne is a wannabe kinkster, blog-a-holic and mom of six ranting about life, love and blogging. She is also the creator of WTMFI Wednesdays, a weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality.

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