The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

Finally Vulnerable

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Well, we finally got the last season of Gilmore Girls. It only took 3 years, but I now officially own Seasons 1 through 7. Albeit, Season 1 &  2 are mostly scratched and ruined, but it’s all good. I’m loving that we have one of my favorite TV shows of all time on DVD. I can just pop it in whenever I want and get my fix. Next, I think we’ll be working on either ER or Queer as Folk.

Last night, was by far one of my most favorite sex nights. I have been begging for a cropping for literally months now. So darn long actually, that I had gotten to the point where I didn’t want a cropping. Just not worth the effort. But I was determined that we were going to have sex. I had bathed and everything for it.

So when we got into bed, I asked if he’d like to handcuff me tonight. We’ve got those really cheapy furry handcuffs, that we got from someone else, and they’ve just been sitting in a box beside my bed for months. Well, let me tell  you, I am so glad that we finally pulled them out. So glad!

I finally got oral sex. So long I’ve been waiting. He put my hands up above my head and fastened the black cuffs around my wrists. I even showed off my boobs last night, which is something that almost never happens. YAY for my “Not a Morning Person” tank top (which by the way, is so true!). Then, he asked if he could eat me out. Which I personally love, asking for it. I’m really an “only if I’ve just showered or bathed” kind of girl. I want to be fully present in that moment, and I can’t when I’m worried about whether I’ve shaved recently or if there’s a *shudders* smell.

But last night, no worries. He listened to me! the last time we talked about oral, and I was saying that I loved giving head for the simple fact that you can play. You can play with your tongue and your lips, and just totally give blissful and playful head. But when a guy eats you out, it’s like the mission is orgasm. It’s get in there and get it done. I’ve never met a guy who was willing to just stay down there for an hour and play, and that’s a shame. Well, I’m happy to report that his listening resulted in a little bit more play than usual. Then after playing, came the turned off vibrator (my favorite one) inside and the frantic licking and sucking playfulness of his tongue. Needles to say, it took me almost no time at all to cum, I had to force myself to take as long as I did.

Even though the cuffs were still on, I still felt very much in control of the situation. Then the sex came. At first my legs were down beside him, but then they were lifted above my head and I knew he was going to go deep, and sure enough, deep he went. Normally, I have the ability to stop if he goes too deep. Normally, I just reach up and pull his hair and he knows to back off a little bit (note our silent communication. That’s so hot!). Last night, I couldn’t pull his hair. He did marvelously not going to deep, but I just kept thinking, “I can’t pull his hair!”

I can remember a long time ago writing about wanting to feel vulnerable. And I did and it was wonderful. As he came, I was overwhelmed with the sense of it. My hands pulled against the handcuffs and I felt their cheap metal rubbing my skin, I felt the muscles in my stomach and legs tense up, and he looked simply stunning to me. He pulled back and immediately undid the handcuffs as I tried to catch my breath and put the entire situation into perspective. The feeling of the cuffs coming off was honestly the most intense part. It felt like release.

Author: Valerie Rayne

Valerie Rayne is a wannabe kinkster, blog-a-holic and mom of six ranting about life, love and blogging. She is also the creator of WTMFI Wednesdays, a weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality.

One thought on “Finally Vulnerable

  1. Pingback: From the Vault: Favorites from my First Year « Valerie Rayne Rants

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