Being without the internet for that while there has completely screwed with my creative streak. That and all the cleaning we’ve been doing and the fact that I haven’t had a chance to just veg in front of my computer. I haven’t gotten a single thing done in the last few days, except for cleaning of the house, and I hate it.
I just can’t get motivated to do any of it. I keep browsing the internet and then I just feel all down and out about my “skill”, and then I just don’t feel like doing it anymore. Not even that I don’t feel like actually doing it, it’s that I feel like, what’s the point.
I went to the doctor yesterday to complain about my now lack of period (odd that I bled for a year straight, and then stop taking depo and now I’m not bleeding at all. And no, it’s not pregnancy!) and the soreness of my hands, knees and now back. So now I’ve got x-rays scheduled, blood work scheduled and I’ve got arthritis medication that I’m supposed to start taking. I’m probably going to wait for a day that The Boyfriend doesn’t work, because apparently there’s a chance it’ll make me drowsy, and I don’t want to end up falling asleep when I’m the only one here with the kids.
We did our Christmas with the kids last night, since they’ll be at their Dad’s for actual Christmas. It’ll be another lonely one this year, just me and Carter, since The Boyfriend is working it. But anywho, we opened presents with the kids last night and it was totally rewarding when they opened their gifts and loved them. Kaeidyn got make-up, the boys got cars and they all got a music set with a guitar, drums and more and drawing paper and crayons.
Argh, this whole blogging/website thing. It’s just so much on my mind it’s ridiculous and I’m never even blogging. It’s literally to the point where I’m dreaming about it, and then stressing about it all day long and barely getting anything done. And I’m only stressing because I’ve got all these ideas of what I want to do, what I want to accomplish, and I was so into the groove of it all, and now I just feel kind of lost. I make it sound like I’m so addicted to it, but I’ll let everyone know right now that I’m not. I do perfectly fine without it!