The Rantings of a Tortured Mind

Valerie Rayne Rants

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Closer to Sex Therapy

So today, in my impatience, I decided to walk from one bus stop about half an hour to the my EPSS appointment, then walk almost two hours home! I can’t believe it took me that long to walk back here.

On my walk, I felt amazing. I felt invigorated. Now, I feel sore and tired. But I’m getting over it. I’m feeling pretty good about the whole EPSS thing too. First, I had a totally kick ass rocker chick employment counselor, who had LP’s hanging on her walls and cool art everywhere including this huge painting of Led Zeppelin.

Then, she told me about this Work Placement Training program they offer and brought in the lady who runs it. They both asked, “What would be your dream job?” and I quickly responded that I’d like to get my Master’s Degree in Social Work and become a sex therapist. For the first time in my life, instead of getting weird, disgusted looks and remarks like “Why in the world would you want to do that?!?!?”, I got an enthusiastic, “Oh, that’s awesome!”.

The even better thing that came from all that is through this Work Placement program, sex therapy may be closer in my future than I would’ve ever thought! So, over the next few weeks, me and these two awesome employment counselors will be working towards getting me set up in a field that could eventually help me work towards becoming a sex therapist.

The only unfortunate thing about it all is that next week I’m going to have to figure out a way to get downtown for workshops all week. Because I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk it everyday. I have a feeling by tomorrow, I’ll be all cramped up and in a ball on the couch whining every five seconds about my aching back and knees.

The kids are all doing really great. Kaeidyn’s learning about Halloween in school, so today all we’ve heard is all about pumpkins. Keirnan is attempting the potty training thing again, though I don’t expect it to last long. He was doing so good for so long, and then (just like with Kaeidyn) he goes to Alfie’s for the weekend and comes back in a diaper and refuses to use the toilet anymore. But it’s all good. Kenzie has gotten back into his gaming again. The first thing I hear when I get out of bed is, “Is it too early?”, because he knows he’s not allowed to play games early in the morning. It keeps going until we finally give in and let him play a game.

I hope The Boyfriend or I get a job, really soon, because we are in desperate need of extra cash, no doubt about it. Really, any cash would be nice. I’m getting sick of being this broke and having this panic worried feeling all day long. It’s like this horrible nagging monkey on your back that’s constantly raking at your soul. It keeps you from sleeping, it keeps you from relaxing or having fun or feeling excited and it just generally makes everything else seem so unachievable.

Then, as if being broke isn’t bad enough, everyone is sick to some degree or another. Keirnan’s teeth are still rotten (though he hasn’t had any issues whatsoever with them. They look pretty good for rotten stubs), The Boyfriend now has a painful abscess in his teeth, Carter and Kenzie both have wicked colds (Carter’s is all in his nose and Kenzie’s his throat), and Kaeidyn is just getting over a cold.

Then, there’s poor old me. I haven’t taken my depo shot for this month, though for the first time in my life am still having safe sex and both The Boyfriend and I refuse to do anything without condoms. And even though I haven’t taken my depo, I’m still bleeding. Only a four more days and I’ll have officially been bleeding for a year! And this horrible pain that I’m constantly in seems to be spreading. My hands and arms are really bad, my knees and ankles are bad and then my back and neck are super bad. I don’t know how I stand some days, because I seem to always have this pain. I just want to know what’s going on. I don’t care if it keeps happening, but I want to at least be able to place the blame on something instead of sounding like I’m just over-exaggerating and complaining… Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers 😉

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Blogging is…

I’ve been hard at work creating new product for The LBA Store tonight! I’m really excited to show off the new “Blogging is… ” series of merchandise, so here’s some of my favorites from the new products!

Set of 4 Mug

Get all four sayings on mousepads, t-shirts, tote bags and more on

The LBA Store.

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I’m Back!!!!

Finally! It only took too long, but we’ve finally got the internet back up and running and I’m officially back online to bug the heck out of everyone 😉

This last little while has been more than rough, more than trying, more than stressful. From the absolute pain I’m feeling, to getting fired from my job, to getting disconnection notices on everything and being on the verge of eviction constantly, this last little while has taken everything I have and then some.

The Boyfriend set up phone and internet in his name here so that we could actually look for work and because I was constantly complaining about not having my internet.

So, just letting everyone know that I’m back online and you can start expecting blog posts again. Hurray!!!