I am so glad that I pushed through my earlier reservations and decided to actually go out tonight. It was probably one of the best nights of my entire life. I am feeling very very accomplished and cannot wait to do it again.
Tonight, I completed a sexual goal of mine. Actually more than one sexual goal! About a month ago, through one of the groups on FetLife, I had been invited to the local B.U.D (Bodies.Under.Domination) event. Every month, BUD rents a hall just on the outskirts of town.
The last time I went, I got to seriously wield a flogger for the first time. A beautiful black and red flogger that I’m desperate to own! It was more of a training session, and barely any real flogging went down. Mostly a lot of talking and giggling. Tonight, it was all different and I officially wielded not only a flogger, but paddles, crops, canes and even flip flops.
The Test Boy had brought two bags worth (and I’m talking golf-sized bags) of some pretty serious toys. Everything listed above, he had. Paddles longer than my leg and a good inch thick, floggers of rubber, leather and suede lined three tables, completely full. About half of the toys, I had seen the previous time we went. The other half, I had never seen and sadly didn’t get to see in use, due to precautions The Test Boy is taking.
After watching The Test Boy receive some play from another attendee, and observing very carefully, he asked me (almost begged me) to experiment on him. I made sure that it was alright with The Boyfriend and that we were both comfortable with the whole thing, and even cast The Boyfriend in the role of my assistant.
I began with the littlest things first, a little flogger and a little crop. The Boyfriend brought over the next piece for me to use, a long pink thick mother, which reminds me of an eraser that you’d use in school. This thing packed a punch, and I had to be gentle with it. After that The Boyfriend brought me a flogger, and it was just amazing.
I was much more nervous about using the bigger floggers. When the black and red flogger was brought to me, you can imagine how much more nervous I got. I almost felt unworthy to hold such a beautiful piece of work in my hands. I swung it in the air a few times, feeling it’s weight and experimenting with the direction of the falls. After getting a good wrist movement rhythm, I connected with skin. That’s it! My mind’s made up: I absolutely LOVE everything there is about flogging. I love receiving, I love giving!! I can’t wait to have a heavier one used on me.
The Test Boy and I continued on for just under an hour, me asking for tons of feedback and him giving me as much as he could. I think I did a pretty freaking great job for my first real flogging. I’ve playfully done it to The Boyfriend a few times, but never seriously flogged anything. It felt spectacular. I felt in my element and confidence was seeping through my veins. Out of all the toys I tried tonight, the flogger was my favorite!
The Boyfriend even said that I looked very sexy wielding the floggers. I felt sexy. It wasn’t sexual for me at all, and I truly felt like I connected with The Test Boy on a high level. It all felt very good to me. I enjoyed having The Boyfriend watch me and joked with him that I wanted to do “this” professionally and have him be my assistant (by assistant, I mean errand boy, but he doesn’t need to know that yet!), except I’d make him crawl around on his hands and knees and bring me his weapon of choice in his teeth. Of course, he has no real desire to be flogged, so I would have to do it on someone else.
I discovered tonight though, that maybe I take this BDSM thing too seriously. I think if I were to really thing about it, I would definitely be classed as rather High Protocol. I like to have set rules, rituals and protocols in place, such as don’t talk to another person’s slave without prior permission, or the varying levels of collars (Collar of Consideration, Training Collar and slave collar). But it’s one of those things that I think I’ve discovered needs to be flexible, especially when you’re still in this experimental stage that I’m currently in.
Tonight made me very optimistic about my future with BDSM, which is a good thing because I was in desperate need of some optimism. I’ve been complaining to The Boyfriend for weeks now that I need a spanking, I need a flogging, I need some sort of kinkiness. And I haven’t had a kinky outlet for awhile now, so having it definitely did a lot for that. I can definitely say, I hope I get to do “that” again soon!